And The Z.I.T. Presses On.

If you are new to the Zoo, let me explain Z.I.T.  Zookeeper In Training.  That would be my beloved sister.  Her Zoo consists of a boxer, a cat, and a drill sergeant.  Yeah, it's definitely a mobile Zoo.

I was scrolling along checking out my Facebook pals when I came across her status posting. "For the record...spray olive oil will remove fly paper glue from a cat."

It was all I could do not to pick up the phone and speed dial immediately!  I mean seriously!  That had to be the most awesome story EVER!!  Especially if you know the cat in question.  She's the ultimate cat.  I mean attitude and all and her name is Cleopatra (or Fatra as I like to call her).  The suspense was killing me.

Then I got the phone call that explained it all and I cried in hysteria before I was able to choke out, "You have to write this down so I can blog it!"  My sister is so sweetly accommodating.  The following is her account (in italics) and of course, my commentary.

So it started off like a normal day. (Like those EVER happen!) The alarm goes off at 5:30am; mommy stumbles out of bed; lets Baxter (also known as Eating Machine) outside to do his potty thing; and down the steps we go to feed Cleo. I open up the can of cat food, and dump breakfast into the bowl.  The kitty is happy so mom goes to let the boy back in for his breakfast. Normal start....then it all goes wonky.



There is a strange sound followed by a cat like screech, and here comes Cleo streaking out into the laundry room with a fly strip zig zagged down her back and up her tail. (People, this cat doesn't "streak" anywhere - she might roll quickly but "streaking" is not her normal MO.) There is nothing else to do but remove the extra sticky fly covered mess from her back. So I pull, and tug and come away with a fly strip and half a cat worth of hair (anybody else picturing a backwards mohawk?)  but I leave behind a sticky hairy mess (a backwards mohawk with spiked edges?!).  So I grab a washcloth and a bar of soap -  Irish spring to be precise (top o the marnin' Cleo!) - and try to clean the sticky off the cat. Cleo at this point is quite happy to go back to eating breakfast (did I mention I call her Fatra?). I however am concerned about the sticky poison laced glue that is still matting her fur and that Cleo will try to lick off later.


The soapy wash cloth did not do the trick. After breakfast is finished and Cleo reappears upstairs, we try the brush to remove the sticky (because a glue wadded cat brush is just what every house needs!). While this method removes a good bit of the loose hair that the original removal of the fly strip didn't accomplish (tidied up the mohawk), it does not get rid of the dreaded "sticky." We snag another wash cloth, and a different soap - dish washing soap this time (I'm sure this was a Joy.  Get it?) -  and now the cat is damp, soapy, AND sticky (But she smells great!). There is nothing I can do for it;  I have to get to work, and the cat will have to stay sticky until I get home. Hopefully the two different soaps will at least rid the glue of most of its poisonous quality (and what cat wants to lick glue AND soap off her fur?).

After a tedious day I get home and the cat is still sticky. While making dinner I discuss the problem with the hubster. Thinking out loud, I suggest that since peanut butter is used to get gum out of hair, perhaps it would work to remove fly strip glue from a cat (Peanut butter hairball anyone?).  Hubster thinks it would be a bad idea because it would leave the cat messy and greasy(and that's any worse than soapy and sticky how, exactly?!) .  I remember that the dog loves peanut butter better than steak (loves it?  He's obsessed with it!  Ate a whole jar if I remember correctly!), and realize that having a peanut butter flavored cat running around the house is probably not a good idea (but they would both get their exercise!).

Enough pondering.  Time to solve the problem. I turn to the all powerful GOOGLE. After a quick search, I run across a post from a gentleman asking how to remove fly paper glue from his wife's hair. They had also unsuccessfully tried the same soapy remedies that I had, but there were many posts that suggested oily substances like baby oil, or mineral oil to remove the glue. Brainstorm! I have spray olive oil in the kitchen. Non-toxic and it just might get the sticky off the cat (how that doesn't attract the dog too I'll never know.  Olive oil - steak?).


A few sprays is all she will tolerate after a day full of indignities (ya think?!), and she goes hiding behind the couch. When she reappears, we try a quick couple passes with the brush (good thing it didn't work the first time!) and we have an oily, but not sticky, cat.  I think that she is trying to pass it off as hot oil treatment.

The moral of the story....spray olive oil removes fly paper glue from a cat.

No my darling sister.  The moral of the story is that, Google is a mom's best friend when dealing with child induced disasters.  Oh and humor tolerates a multitude of disasters.

Come on out Camera Man!

I have learned so much about my children this summer. 

Orangutan knows no strangers and has no idea what "family business only" means.  She will talk to anyone about anything all day long.  Whether they want to hear or know it.  Yes, it IS embarrassing.  And if you don't know all about our vacation to PA then you don't live within a 15 mile radius.

Rhino is all boy.  From naked happy dances to non stop eating to just general grossness, he couldn't be more boy if you pumped him full of 'roids.  And no, that's not an invite.  Heaven knows, he's already moody enough.

But the focus of today is Marmoset.  I believe I have shared in the past that the fellows at Lion's old office used to call her "Hollywood" because she never showed up without her shades.  Well, she is definitely headed for "Last Comic Standing." 

She insists that someone go to the bathroom with her every time she has to go.  The whole time she is in there she is making faces and talking in weird voices and telling me stories that would make me roll on the floor if it wasn't the bathroom.  Yesterday she felt the need to inform me that her behind had exploded and she really didn't want it put back together.  "'Cause I like it like this!  And I won't need unders!"

I really looked up to see where the hidden camera was.  I mean someone has to coach a kid to say these things, don't they?  And to say it in a 65 year old smoking bartender's voice at the same time?  I mean really.  Lion had to have signed some reality TV contract behind my back.

I wonder what I will have to do to get voted off the island.

Oh, the Posts of Days Gone By...

I was suffering from some writer's block this morning so I went back to some of my older posts and read for a while to try to spark something. I actually laughed at myself in a few of those. Which makes me wonder what happened but that's another day. Everyone get out your Wayne's World fingers because we are going back in time.

Doodle lee Doot. Doodle lee Doot. Doodle lee Doot.

Mom Tip #18 - Just Laugh!

Mom Tip #29 - You May Call me Elvis. This is Lion's favorite post

Mom Tip #41 - Never Clean During PMS Weak Stomach Warning!

Mom Tip #54 - Motherhood is Gross! Another WSW.

How to Tell you're a Grown Up!

Someday I'll get back to that kind of writing. Thanks for hanging with me until I do. Zoo fans Rock!

When Animals Attack!

This has been a very strange week for me animal wise. I'm not sure why but it seems that every day this week there has been an animal related incident that has made me laugh or freak me out.

Sunday I was planting on the porch and suddenly saw a little gecko pop out from under the door between our screen porch and our deck. Being the educationally encouraging mother I am, I called Orangutan and Rhino out of the yard where they were playing in the sprinkler to observe this gift of nature. We even had a deep conversation about how his tail ould fall off if they touched it. And then he ducked back under the door.

Please keep in mind that our screen porch is just off of our master bed room and the sliding glass door has been open to air the house out. Rhino pursued our little friend into the screen porch and I went back to planting. At least I went back to planting until I heard this.

"It's ok pal! My room is right there across the hall. Just run through Mommy's room to the other side."

Yeah, no! I am not up for lizards in my bed, under my bed, or rotting in Rhino's closet. No sir! Lizards stay outside, thank you very much!

Fast forward two days to a phone call from my college roommate during which she recounted the capture of 8 (or nine - we're not sure) crickets that were released in her car. Did I mention that she didn't find out about the crickets until it was dark and she was driving said car? Yeah.

And then we called Grand Keeper and Silverback. Chat, chat, chat. Grand Keeper erupts in unexplained laughter. "Mom? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure but your father is dancing." This peaks Orangutan's curiosity because she knows Silverback is an "awesome" dancer. "Why is he dancing, Grammy?"

More laughter followed by lots of stomping. "There's a bee in Poppie's pants!!"

My mother had put laundry out on the clothesline last weekend and a bee got trapped in my father's pants and stayed there all week. Well, until he put them on last night anyway. The bee is no more. That was funny enough to make Orangutan laugh until she fell off my lap but the real kicker came next.

"It's not funny girl!" Silverback was chuckling himself. "If you think that's funny wait until I tell you about the mouse that ran up my leg and into my boot!"

And you were all wondering why I call this The Zoo!

The New Innies and Outies

Well, there is a very good chance that we have FINALLY gotten over the hump with Rhino's potty training. It has been a long and tearfilled journey but he has finally taken mercy on me and decided that the potty is not the black hole of death.

In celebration of this fact we are now moving on to encouraging very "boy" behaviors such as standing and aiming. For the sake of my bathroom floor, we started this project outside. Yes, I have been encouraging my son to pee on trees in the back yard. And before you all freak out and call me looney because after all suburbia isn't country, we have a very high privacy fence and lots of trees and bushes. No one is "peeping" on my son. And he is keenly aware that this is only BACK yard behavior.

Last night we moved training inside. Unfortunately the timing could have been better. Orangutan was jumping in for her shower when suddenly a completely naked (fresh out of the tub) Rhino came sprinting into the bathroom screaming, "Gotta pee! Gotta pee!" Nothing like an entrance. He was all too excited to show his sister his new "trick."

I knew a conversation was about to happen but with Orangutan you never really know which way it's going to go.

"Hey Mom! Do ALL boys have those sticky outie things?"

(oh crap!) "Yes honey they do." (Dear Lord let it end now. Please! I beg you! Let it end now!)

"But girls have innie things."

"That's right." (Ok, this could still be saved as long as she doesn't ask why. And even then I can go with the God's plan line.)

"Well, that's just too bad for boys then." Said as if the conversation was done. On that note? Now I have questions!

"Why do you say it's too bad?"

"Well, if boys aren't paying attention then they'll miss the potty and make a mess. Then the Mommys will get mad and probably spank them for being messy."

"Is that what you would do if you were a mommy for a boy?"

"Oh Mom! I'm only having little girls. Boys are just a mess."

If only you knew O. If only you knew! And on top of that she still has no interest in boys which delights my little soul that much more. I thought we were having issues because there is a little boy in her class who adores the very air she breathes.

I did however forget to remind her that that was a Mommy-Orangutan conversation before she left for school today so I could be in for an interesting e-mail from Mrs. F if things go poorly.

Try not to think too much about this the next time you shower. Are you an innie or an outie?

Tuesday Tribute: Heaven Bless the Bean People!

What? You expected some normal touching Tribute? Well then, you definitely have missed my last few tributes. Here's to the Bean People!

#5. Ageless, Always Home for Christmas, Big Brother Dude.

(This isn't him! But he DOES look familiar to me for some reason...)

You know him! The stud who always manages to come home for Christmas in the Folgers commercials. Now I don't drink Folgers coffee so his placement on this list is very special. He gets to be one of my Bean People because he never ages! This guy has been coming home for Christmas since the 80's and he has yet to go flabby, gray or bring home a woman. He's awesome and any woman out there who denies that she gets a little secret smile every year when he shows his devilishly handsome face is a big fat liar!

#4. The Ultimate Mountain Man and his Trusty Steed.

You know who I'm talking about - Juan Valdez! Who can't love an authentic Brazilian with a handsome burro? And the burro was always cooperative. Did you ever notice that? He never brayed or balked or just turned stubborn. You have to give this duo their kudos. I think they are the only Bean People I've ever seen do a cameo on the big screen. Know the movie? Bruce Almighty! Watch it again. They're there.

#3.Freaky Mer Woman with the Crazy Arms - or is that her tail?

Now this one makes the list because of the coffee - not because of the chick. She freaks me out. Are those her arms? And is she trying to tell me to think something special? Is she putting her caffiene juju on me? Nice hair by the way. Strategically placed wouldn't you say? But we have to give her some credit. Nothing starts your day off like a double shot venti caramel machiatto with extra cream and sprinkles. Or I could just shoot adrenaline straight into my heart.

#2. The Criers on the Roof!

I love these guys! It's the Dunkin commercial where the lady takes a sip of coffee and she's suddenly touting Dunkin's praises from her rooftop. There are two people in particular who get me every time though. The first is the lady who is too afraid to stand up so she ends up straddling her roof and hanging on for dear life. Watch for her next time. She makes me smile. But then you have the lady who makes me laugh. She stands up there in her bathrobe I think and screams "THIS IS MY SIXTH CUP!" No, really? No wonder you're on your roof! I'd be on the moon! Bless her heart.

And my #1 Bean Person is none other than Fred himself.

I am the worlds biggest Dunkin fan. From the blueberry cake doughnuts (Sorry Fer) to the Bavarian cream filled to the simple glazed. And don't get me started on the Munchkins - those puppies pop a little too easy. But the doughnuts aren't all that make them the #1 Bean Person. Now that I can get their coffee in just about every grocery store and buyer's club, I am in heaven. Have you had their coffee? It's a delightfully smooth and mild coffee that brews perfectly every time. Every morning this loving nectar flows into my coffee cup with just the right touch of cream and sugar and nurses me through my morning routine. It's all I can manage not to brew a second pot after Lion heads to the hunt.

Here's to the Bean People and all of us who support them like our life depends on it. Next week a tribute to the pharmaceautical companies who provide pain relief when we don't get enough of our Bean People.

Now if you were looking for the REAL Tributes head over to Jay and Deb's and find out who is truly worthy. Thanks again guys for letting me spout off and ruin the mood.

Tuesday Tribute: Here's to You "Normal."

If you've been reading the Zoo for a while you know that I seldom play very many memes here. Most of that finds it's way over to The Bowl. But today there was one that I couldn't resist. Jay at Halftime Lessons and Deb at Dirty Socks and Pizza are the host of Tuesday Tribute. It's a weekly opportunity to bow to someone or something other than our ginormous egos.

This is my first time playing along but I have read quite a few of the tributes in the past. Let's see if I can do the meme justice. My Tribute to "Normal."

Welcome to My Norm!

There's a dino in the dining room
And a pick up in the tub.
There's a martian on the ceiling fan
And an ape under the rug.

A watermelon's sprouted

Underneath the bathroom sink.
And something quite unknown
Is making such a stink.

I saw a walrus hiding

In the pillows on mom's bed.

She hasn't found my toad yet

Or I'd probably be dead.

My little sister just ate dirt.

The big one flushed the phone.

I think I should try hiding

Until my Dad gets home.

I think my mom is losing it.

She's about to blow her stack.

'Cause she may have just discovered

She's standing in dog yack.

I'm pretty sure at other homes

This scene might make you squirm.

But around these parts my mom would say...

Welcome to my Norm.

The Rookies vs. The Veterans

Parenting like every competitive sport has it's rookies and veterans. What? Parenting isn't a competitive sport? You must be a rookie!


A friend from college recently had his first child and I've been following the adventure on Facebook. It's very hard not to chuckle at every status update but because I like him and he's a good friend I have not mocked him in his new fatherhood. Yet.


"Babies smell so good!"
Wait until you start solids dude! Nothing yummy about that.


"I don't want to go back to work."
I give that 2 years if you don't immediately have another; 18 months if you do.


It's fun to watch new parents. Every coo gets a picture. Every bag of diaper trash becomes a baby book entry. First trips anywhere are documented with glee and delight. And before anyone jumps on me about it, I did it. I made a fool of myself just like every other new parent and therefore I am making fun of myself too! Get over it.


Then your second child comes along and you still take fun pictures because now it's the first time X and Y did Z together. But the glow is a little fainter because now you are trying to get two children to keep their shoes on while buckling four arms into carseats and packing two sippy cups and snacks and heaven only knows what else.


You can spot the mom of 3 or more from a mile away. She looks completely at peace. She smiles at everything and she maintains a calm and easy exterior. You know why?



She has surrendered to the enemy. Waved her white flag. Tossed in her towel. Bowed out. Given up and given in. She knows that if everyone makes it through the day with nothing more major than a scrape and 4 bandaids she has won. She never worries about people coming over and seeing a mess because people don't come over. They're too scared of the duct tape. She doesn't bother with her appearance because she knows that somewhere on her personage there is poo, spit, snot, vomit or jelly and if there isn't there will be soon.


The rookie is constantly seeking the approval of others and taking too much advice from too many well meaning people who may or may not have children of their own.


The veteran has perfected smile and nod. She will smile and nod and pretend to listen to you and take it all in when in her head she is really saying, "Your turn is coming. They will break you too."


And before the debate starts about parenting being a competetive sport let me say this. Your way is the best way. It always is. Moms who nurse are superior to moms who don't and vice versa. Moms with slings are cooler than moms with strollers and vice versa. Moms who don't vaccinate are infinitely wiser than moms who vaccinate and vice versa. See! Told you it was a competitive sport. Rookies get caught up in those debates and get tweaked about them. Veterans look at their children and say, "Nobody's dead yet, so I'm ok."


I really should run. There should be a Facebook update for me to laugh at soon. Bless their little family Lord! And Congrats again Joe!

Mom Tip #55

Should a mom attempt to take a day (or even a few hours off), she should be prepared for the consequences of her diminished vigilance.

Now it is the Christmas season and between decorating, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and making gifts things are a little hairy here at Zoo Suburbia. I've been up at 6 and going to bed at 2 and lather, rinse, repeating for three weeks straight. I'm a little tired and more than a little punchy. So I thought I would cut myself a little slack and take a break today. I have been at this for five years - you would think that I would know by now.

We put the tree up last night and the Lion and I put the lights on and then he supervised while I put the basic decorations on. It was beautiful with the dried grapefruit and oranges, the homemade cinnamon clay and baking soda clay ornaments, the white twinkling lights and the candy canes. I just sat in the glow for a while last night and looked at it.

(Last year, just learning to crawl and explore)

This morning after everyone was distributed to their proper places I took a time out with my coffee and the blogosphere and just relaxed. I was happily reading along and commenting on friends posts when suddenly there was an EXTREMELY sticky hand on my arm. I really didn't want to look. I tried for the longest to ignore what I knew was inevitable. Then the thought occurred to me that the longer that sticky hand stayed there without moving the more it was going to hurt when it came off taking even the smallest armhairs with it.

I peeked out of the corner of my eye and my worst fears were confirmed. There beside me in all of her curly headed glory was my beloved little Marmoset, bright pink from her nose to her chin and grinning from ear to ear. In her other hand a remnant with a few faint red and white stripes left on it.

(This year, learning how to be sneakiy while maintaining the cute factor!)

What's a mom to do? I heaved a little sigh and scooped her up. But the fun wasn't over. There curled up in a lttle ball under the coffee table was a certain S.M. Rhino trying to shove the stepstool around the corner out of sight. I shooed him out from under and hustled them both to the bathroom to clean up. There were no canes on the bottom three feet of a nine foot tree. None. When interviewed about how many he had consumed Rhino assured me that he and Marmoset had only had two a piece. So what happened to the rest of the canes?

He had tucked them away in a secret stash under the coffee table. You have to give him some credit. He was smart. He was fast. And he was honest.

But the crash from that sugar high took me out! Last time before Christmas I take a day off!!

Count your Blessings; Name Them One by One!

Sniff. Sniff, sniff. ::wiping tears:: HOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKK! Sniff. Today is the last day of the Blog Party. Sniff. Ok. I'm over it. Know why? 'Cause that means Trisha starts to pull prizes soon! Woo Hoo!! Even if I don't win something, I already found a bunch of new stalkers - I mean blogs to stalk - I mean! Jeepers! Did I say that? I must be tired! But as great as you guys are, I better stinkin' win something!!

Sponsors: Day Twelve Blog Party Question is Brought to you by Georgie Tees and Mutsy.

VIP BLOGS to visit are Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

Well, anyway. The final question? Considering today is Thanksgiving, I think you probably already know.

I’m Thankful this Year because….___________

Oh where to start? I know in today’s financial climate and with the news that pounds at our brains everyday it is incredibly easy to get washed away in the hopelessness and despair. But I AM thankful.

My husband still has an income.
My children are incredibly healthy, funny, smart and fun.
I have developed a new hobby this year that has brought me some really great people to interact with even if it is on the other side of a computer monitor.
I have friends who are faithful and who take me as I am and where I am no matter what.
I have a warm home.

But the thing I am most grateful for is that I have The Present. If you haven’t read it yet you need to find Dr. Spencer Johnson’s The Precious Present and read it. It will take all of twenty minutes but if you really absorb it, it will change life for you. Especially right now.

I have learned from my past. I trust my Father with my future. I have The Present.

And for that I am Thankful!

Thanks for playing along in the blog party with me. Some of you have become regular rock stars on my reader. Some of you have made me laugh until I pee. But all of you have impacted me in one way or another. Thank you! And thank you to Trisha, Alicia and Bridgette and all the ladies at MomDot for all you did to make this happen! You guys Rock! Even from the other side of a computer monitor!

Grab some more warm fuzzies but checking in with the rest of the gang over at MomDot!

Oh! And Happy Thanksgiving!

Another Word from the Livestock Trailer

Once again I hear the best stuff when I'm away from the computer and have to try to remember it until I can get home. This is almost all Rhino. He's a piece of work!

R: That's not Mo. She doesn't have a little head. Maxy has a little head. Meghan has a little head. Bentley has a big head. Mo has a big head.
ZK: What are you talking about?!?!
R: Heads! (duh Mom!) You have a big head.
ZK: What about you? Do you have a big head?
R: Well, yeah! (another duh!) And so does Mo and Meghan and...
ZK: Wait a minute. Didn't you just say Meghan has a little head?
R: You're not listening Mom! Meghan has a little head and Mo has a big head.
ZK: What about Daddy?
R: Daddy has a big head and I'm done.

Well, that settles that! I didn't figure out until about five minutes later that he was watching the other kids coming out of the school for the carpool line. It's a wonder all those "big heads" fit in the livestock trailer!

And Back to your regularly Scheduled Ridiculous!

Welcome back to the "real" Zoo. Oh yeah. Today we will be back to the normal nonsense that is my brain. No tissues necessary. So tell me - are you having fun looking into my holiday habits? I'm finding so many kindred sprirts out there. It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one.

So here we go! Day 7!

Sponsors: Sillymonkeez and My baby bump

VIP BLOGS to visit are Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

And the question today?

Who’s on your naughty list? Whose on your nice list? Why?

Well, in case you missed my dissertation on the Naughty and Nice List and its origins and standards you better pop over here. No really! Go! You really want to avoid my Naughty List. So you made it back? Good. Now that you understand my thoughts on the list, let me go ahead and give you my list and the why’s behind it.

Naughty but on probation list: The folks at the deli counter.
Why? Because you just handed me one sample slice of bologna when you can clearly see there are three children with me. Do you really dislike me that much? Do you really want to hear my children wailing about “his piece is bigger than mine” or “she got an extra bite” for the next hour while I wind my way through the store?

Now I only put you on probation because if you change your ways you will definitely elevate yourself to the nice list. Not just for eliminating the fighting and arguing, but for putting something in their mouths so that I get to enjoy just a few moments of quiet.

Nice but up for review list: My children
I mean it! I will make the call to the Pole. You have been incredibly sweet and polite to strangers in recent months. If you would be so kind as to bring some of that home on a more frequent basis, you could really solidify your spot on the list. As is, you are clinging by your thin little fingernails and I am considering getting the clippers.

Marmoset, you are cute and all but if you are unable to find a way to control those flapping, running in place fits of yours I will be forced to put you on probation.

Rhino, you have done an incredible job of moving up recently with your newly developed bathroom habits. However if you do not stop aggravating Orangutan on a regular basis, you will find yourself in the PO’s office with Marmoset.

Orangutan, you had better get it together. I understand that you are getting in touch with your emotions but if you keep pushing the “panic,” “distress,” and “sensitivity” buttons I am going to push the button that demotes you to naughty.

Permanent nice list: My regular followers and commenters here at the Zoo.
Santa will be bringing you all higher page ranks and lots of “You won!” giveaway notices in the near future.

Permanent naughty list: Wall Street Fat Cats with Multi-million Dollar Bonuses
Ya’ll suck! Now wire America’s money back from the Caymans and Switzerland and anywhere else you tucked it away so that we can get ourselves back on our feet (or to the spa!) instead of having the government do it for us (or you in the case of the spa – business conference, my livestock trailer). Losers!

Wanna know if you made someone's naughty list? Pop over to Mom Dot and make sure you check all those other Naughty List posts. You can never be too careful this time of year!!

Party Time! MomDot Day 2!

Can I just tell you how much fun I had yesterday? I added several people to my reader and I saw some really awesome pages! If you aren't popping around reading at least a few of the other participants in the MomDot Blog Party you are really missing out on meeting some wonderful and creative people!

Our question for Day 2 is brought to you by:

Sponsors: LaPlates and Lets Go Strolling and Natitys Design

VIP BLOGGERS: Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

And the question is:

Traditions, what are some of your favorite family traditions? What are some traditions you want to begin?

I love traditions. We have a few here at the Zoo and I am certain we will add more as the years pass. Some of my favorite Zoo traditions center on Christmas.

Christmas pajamas – You all got to see these yesterday in our family picture. My mother always makes the kids pj’s to wear on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately for me this is the last year that the three may be able to have matching pj’s. Tuck and Mo are getting a little older and will probably start to move to more “grown up” jammies.

The Cookie Bake – The weekend after Thanksgiving all dieters move away from my house. I will spend all of November storing up baking supplies little by little. Then the Saturday after Thanksgiving I go nuts. I bake all day long. Chocolate Chips, Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter Blossoms, Oatmeal Raisin, Oatmeal Scotchies, Chocolate Covered Pretzels, homemade Chocolate Covered Cherries, Double Delicious Bars, Oreo Truffles, and more that I would list if I was less fearful of keyboards across the blogosphere shorting out.

Then on Sunday the plating begins. We make trays for the fire houses and Daddy’s office and smaller bags for our mail lady and any other public servants the kids choose. Then we go as a family and deliver them. I may be off a little but I almost think the kids look forward to this more than they do to the presents.

The Magic Seed – This is by far my favorite!! Since we moved into our house three years ago, we have had a real tree. Daddy picks it out himself and brings it home from work the second week of December. Then we bring the tree stand up from the garage and let the kids “plant” the Magic Seed. It is actually a pistachio nut that one puts in the tree stand and the other waters. Then I put them in the tub.

While they are busy playing in the tub, Stephen and I set the tree up in the tree stand. Then while I do baths and jammies, Daddy puts on the lights. It is the highlight of the holiday season to watch their faces as they lay eyes on the tree for the first time.

That is just a few of the Christmas traditions here at Zoo Suburbia. I am tingly with anticipation that they are approaching quickly for this year again!

Want to pick up some more holiday traditions for your family? Pop over to MomDot and visit some of the other participants who will be sharing their traditions too! Make sure you share a little comment love - it's our version of chocolate (when we can't get our hands on the real stuff)!

Take a Ride in the Livestock Trailer!

We went to pick Orangutan up from O.A.T. today and it was business as usual until we were on our way home.

O: Hey Mom! Do you know what we did at school today? We were working on feeling and hearing!
ZK (that's Me!): So you are talking about your senses this week huh?
O: Yup! I was in Ms. S's group and we were working on hearing. So we listened to pennies and paperclips and blocks and all kinds of stuff.
ZK: Wow! That sounds like it was a lot of fun! So did you drop them or bang them together or what?
O: No they were in boxes and we shook them and had to figure them out by their sounds.
ZK: That's really neat Mo!
O: Do you know which one didn't make any noise?
ZK: No which one? (Please note that I am thinking maybe the teachers put cotton balls in one!)
O: The gummi worm one! But it wasn't one of our gummi worms like we eat. It was one like we went fishing with. But it wasn't making any noise because I think he was asleep. Or dead. He could have been dead.
R: (piping up from the back seat!) Mo! We don't squish worms or poop!
M: Oh no! Not dain! (that's "not again" to all non Marmoset speakers.)

Mom Tip #54

Motherhood is gross!

I know I posted a vlog along this line during Motherhood Means (which you may have guessed by now was nixed due to lack of interest). In case you missed it and need a lesson in how NOT to empty a training potty, here you go!

But the point was driven home to me today. I was cleaning the bathroom and had already had to pull one child (Marmoset) and a dog out of the toilet! So you can guess that I was less than thrilled when I turned around to see Marmoset brushing her teeth with the Lion's toothbrush and B-Dog's teeth with MY toothbrush! I am having a hard time expressing just how nauseated I was when I saw this. I of course have disposed of the toothbrush but the heebie jeebies are still stalking me.

I went about my business cleaning the bathroom only to realize that the job "Mom" is, by its very nature, gross. Let me tell you all the gross things I have done in the past week that fall under my job title.

*Cleaning out the fridge. We all know what that is like so I will refrain from going into detail.
*Cleaning the toilets - potty chair included. All I can say for commentary on that is - Men! Of all ages!
*Changing butts. ::sigh::
*Washing the dog. I wash him because he smells. Somehow I always forget that I end up smelling like him every time I wash him.
*Sippy cup hunting. That funky smell in the bedroom is not coming from the laundry basket or the diaper pail.
*Sippy cup washing. Once you find them you have to so something with them.
*Playroom cleaning. Have I ever told you that Cheeze-Its will be the food of the cockroaches after the nuclear holocaust?

If anyone ever asks you why mothers shower at night rather than in the morning, I will give you the easy answer. To wash the crud off! We do not shower in the morning "to wake up" because we are already awake - probably before the rest of the house. We do not shower while everyone else is napping. That's when we get all of our gross stuff done without interruption. We wash up to our elbows before cooking dinner because we know that we are going to get the rest of our bath while we do baths in a little while.

The old hymn says "And they'll know we are Christians by our love." The mom version says, "And they'll know we are mothers by our stench."

The Blog Party!

Listen. I know I have already posted about the MomDot Christmas Blog Party but I have to tell you that if you aren't part of this - as blogger or spectator - you will miss out big time!

We got the list of topics early this week and there is soooo much blog fodder in this that I have already started working on my posts. People, I don't laugh at my own stuff often but even I think I am coming up with some real gems! And if that wasn't reason enough guess who gets to write a feature for the MomDot home page?

You may bow and peel grapes now. That's right Zoo Butts! I will be writing a feature and if the rough draft is any indication it could be a doozie!

Here. I'll give you a peek at the topic list.

*Traditions, what are some of your favorite family traditions? What are some traditions you want to begin?
*What is your favorite Holiday recipe, describe your Holiday table, biggest holiday cooking disaster (I'm tuning in for the disaster part myself!)
*Favorite holiday memory from YOUR childhood (RD, you better tune in for this one)
*Who’s on your naughty list? Who's on your nice list? Why? (Guess whose feature this is!!)
*Most unusual gift you have received? Best gift? Do you re-gift?
*If you could only eat ONE food on Thanksgiving Day, what would it be? Do you have a homecooked meal for Thanksgiving or do you go out to eat? Does your family dress up?

And that's only half of them! Now tell me that you don't want to get in on this. Think of the stress reliever this is going to be as you face the holiday stuff. I will be adding a Mr. Linky to each post so that folks can drop their posts off for you to visit.

And did I mention that participants can earn entries into a really awesome giveaway pull? So come on! Warm up those fingers and get ready to really have some fun this holiday season!

Motherhood Means...Maddening!!

Mom Tip Mini for the Men out There

When you see a woman pushing an overloaded shopping cart with two children in it, her shopping bags and purse hanging off it while the one hand has a tight grip on a large bottle of laundry detergent, do NOT refer to her as "SuperMom" and laugh hysterically.

You are not funny. And should you even think about smirking in her direction as she pushes the cart to the car while 2 bag boys follow her with 2 more carts, be prepared for the laundry detergent to make rapid and repeated impact with your head and various other carefully selected body parts.

Sorry I have to go. The guard is telling me that my internet time is up. I have to go put my huggy jacket back on now.

Mom Tip #51

If you give a mom a grocery list, be ready to give her a cookie.

Did I mention that the Zoo has had 2 touring exhibits this week? Yeah well, we have. Needless to say it had been an interesting week. Which could explain a lot about this tip.

On my To Do list yesterday were three little words that I dread. “Make grocery list.” Ugh. But I pulled up my big girls and got to work.

If you give a mom a grocery list, she will write a few things on it. Then she will open the pantry to see what else is running low. In an effort to check the sugar, she will end up cleaning out and organizing the entire pantry only to learn that she is OUT of sugar. So she’ll write that on the list. She will then decide to check the other spices.

While in the spice cabinet (which she will also clean out and organize) she will remember that she has not taken anything out for dinner. She will go to the freezer to take something out and will start to stare blankly at the half gallon of rocky road ice cream. As water begins to drip from the ice maker she will snap out of it and run for the mop.

As long as she has the mop out, she will decide that this is a good time to mop the kitchen floor. Only when she opens the cabinet she will notice that she is very low on cleaning products. She should put those on the grocery list. The grocery list!!

She will try to focus and will open the next cabinet in line – the canned good cabinet. Can anyone say clean out and organize? As she writes tomatoes on the list she will remember seeing a coupon for tomatoes in the Sunday paper.

Two hours later after clipping, sorting, and filing coupons, she will try to remember what she was doing in the first place. Instead she will put away the (still dry) mop and switch out the laundry.

Then she will sit down and have a cookie. After all, she earned it! She’s been working hard!

Wordless Wednesday

And he wonders what I do all day.

Welcome to my world Large Male Lion!