Do You Know What This Is?

This is post #99. Do you know what that means? That means my first post for the MomDot Blog Party tomorrow will be my 100th post! Wow!! I am so incredibly excited! And I don't know what I'm more excited about.

Is it more exciting to have your 100th post and realize that you've been at this long enough to call it an addiction? To realize that you have rambled to 12 people about the nonsense that goes on in your head 100 times and they have faithfully hung around to hear it?

Or is it more exciting for Post #100 to be the launching post that you know (hope and pray) will be seen by a ton of people because they are participating in the same blog party you are? And it's a pretty good post (I've already scheduled it!) if I do say so myself.

Well anyway. It's a great big "Yay for me" so I thank you my faithful few for hanging around this long and I can't wait to see what comes up next! Thanks! And see you tomorrow!

**You are coming back, right?**

The First Ask the Zookeeper!

So I asked some of my friends to help me out and pose some "Ask the Zookeeper" questions. Did I say they were my friends? Because looking at the list of questions I got I'm beginning to wonder! So here we go!

Cooking and baking are a passion of yours and I know that you refer to them as your "therapy." How did you discover that love? And what is your favorite thing about it?

When I started staying home with the exhibits 18 months ago (wow!), I had to fill the time. I went from working 60+ hours a week to being home all day, every day. There is only so much cleaning and decluttering you can do before you are scrubbing paint off the walls. So I started to look for recipes and meals that I could make to make more of our budget and to break up the monotony of beef, chicken, fish sticks! Playing with recipes and subbing things out quickly became a challenge to meet.

What do I love about it? The smell! You know you have a recipe right when you can come in from being outside and get hit with a smell that makes your tummy rumble. Do I eat what I bake? Actually not very much. I eat my meals and I have a cookie or two but I love to give them away or share with the neighbors.

The magic babysitter fairy has taken your kids on a trip to LaLa Land for the day and you have all day to yourself to do whatever you want. What are you going to do?

Sleep in. Take a shower without someone banging on the door or pulling back the curtain. Read a book. Watch one movie from beginning to end. Do my yoga without someone hanging off of Warrior 3. Take another shower in peace just because I can. Eat a grown up meal (no chicken nuggets, corndogs, bologna, or PB&J) without someone asking for a bite. Write a while. Sew a while.

Miss them like crazy!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (This friend must have missed my rant about what a bogus question this is!)

Mo will be 10, Tuck will be 8, Munch will be 6. Hmmm. I will probably be going back to work finally! Something part time so I can still be with them after school but enough to keep my brain busy during the day. We will probably also be getting ready to move out of this house because we will be bursting at the seams!

Where will you be sitting when Mo graduates high school, near the exit to make a dash bc you're bawling your eyes out or on the isle standing proud and telling Tuck to behave that's his sister or front row screaming when Mo's name is called.

I'll be somewhere in the middle sniffing into a tissue hoping no one sees me. Tuck will be a surly teenager getting ready to graduate the following year so he won't be much trouble. But I don't think I could bring myself to be the screaming parent. I'm just not THAT outspoken!

What will life be like when the zoo closes in 18 or so years?

I'm scared to even think! It will be just me and the grumpy old Lion and the security dog of the day. I hope it will be a fun time for both of us. I hope we will be that couple who will still have dinner on the deck with neighbors and go to concerts and who can still spend time together and apart without freaking out.

What would it be like if you had a 4th permanent exhibit?

Bwaaaaah Ha Ha Ha! Huggy jacket time for this Zookeeper! The Lion has campaigned in the past for extra exhibits and one night in mid migraine I told him that if finances allowed I would possibly reconsider. Not so much! I am quite happy with this little Zoo I have and sometimes I even feel like I might be in control. That being said, if another surprise came along, I would have an adjustment and the Zoo might get a little angry and cranky for a while but I would eventually come around. I love children and I know that I can rise to any challenge. I'd just like a different one for once!

So there you have it! Round 1 of "Ask the Zookeeper!" If you have a question for the Zookeeper you can send it to ineedthezoo(at)yahoo(dot)com.

Take a Ride in the Livestock Trailer!

We went to pick Orangutan up from O.A.T. today and it was business as usual until we were on our way home.

O: Hey Mom! Do you know what we did at school today? We were working on feeling and hearing!
ZK (that's Me!): So you are talking about your senses this week huh?
O: Yup! I was in Ms. S's group and we were working on hearing. So we listened to pennies and paperclips and blocks and all kinds of stuff.
ZK: Wow! That sounds like it was a lot of fun! So did you drop them or bang them together or what?
O: No they were in boxes and we shook them and had to figure them out by their sounds.
ZK: That's really neat Mo!
O: Do you know which one didn't make any noise?
ZK: No which one? (Please note that I am thinking maybe the teachers put cotton balls in one!)
O: The gummi worm one! But it wasn't one of our gummi worms like we eat. It was one like we went fishing with. But it wasn't making any noise because I think he was asleep. Or dead. He could have been dead.
R: (piping up from the back seat!) Mo! We don't squish worms or poop!
M: Oh no! Not dain! (that's "not again" to all non Marmoset speakers.)

Mom Tip #54

Motherhood is gross!

I know I posted a vlog along this line during Motherhood Means (which you may have guessed by now was nixed due to lack of interest). In case you missed it and need a lesson in how NOT to empty a training potty, here you go!

But the point was driven home to me today. I was cleaning the bathroom and had already had to pull one child (Marmoset) and a dog out of the toilet! So you can guess that I was less than thrilled when I turned around to see Marmoset brushing her teeth with the Lion's toothbrush and B-Dog's teeth with MY toothbrush! I am having a hard time expressing just how nauseated I was when I saw this. I of course have disposed of the toothbrush but the heebie jeebies are still stalking me.

I went about my business cleaning the bathroom only to realize that the job "Mom" is, by its very nature, gross. Let me tell you all the gross things I have done in the past week that fall under my job title.

*Cleaning out the fridge. We all know what that is like so I will refrain from going into detail.
*Cleaning the toilets - potty chair included. All I can say for commentary on that is - Men! Of all ages!
*Changing butts. ::sigh::
*Washing the dog. I wash him because he smells. Somehow I always forget that I end up smelling like him every time I wash him.
*Sippy cup hunting. That funky smell in the bedroom is not coming from the laundry basket or the diaper pail.
*Sippy cup washing. Once you find them you have to so something with them.
*Playroom cleaning. Have I ever told you that Cheeze-Its will be the food of the cockroaches after the nuclear holocaust?

If anyone ever asks you why mothers shower at night rather than in the morning, I will give you the easy answer. To wash the crud off! We do not shower in the morning "to wake up" because we are already awake - probably before the rest of the house. We do not shower while everyone else is napping. That's when we get all of our gross stuff done without interruption. We wash up to our elbows before cooking dinner because we know that we are going to get the rest of our bath while we do baths in a little while.

The old hymn says "And they'll know we are Christians by our love." The mom version says, "And they'll know we are mothers by our stench."

Brain Junk!

I am breaking from form and format to empty my brain a little. It's my blog I can do that! And I have an ulterior motive. I need to time my posts so that my 100th comes right when I want it.

So here's a little dose of Zookeeper brain junk.

#1. I have never been tagged in one of those "Tell me 7 things" tags. I am eternally grateful. I hate those things! I don't mind telling you about me but I would prefer to reveal bits and pieces of my quirkiness naturally rather than listing them. This just came to mind as I was reading through my reader and I noticed that Jen from Cheaper than Therapy has been tagged 3 times (that she's responded too)!

Now there are two ways you can read this. A) my readership is so small that folks just don't get to me as they are scrolling through their blogroll. Or B) folks really don't care to get to know me that much. I'll take Option A thank you! Sure I wish I had more readers but to think that I am that boring? Well, that just hurts!

#2. I need a time out. My children are really driving me into the bat exhibit. And it's not like they are doing anything that they don't normally do. They are up to their normal nonsense and failure to listen and spasing out and bullying - ok maybe the bullying has been stepped up. I guess it's just that I have been dealing with it non-stop for about 3 months. Day in and day out. All day. The same arguments with the Rhino to put clothes on. The same speeches about tattling and being overly sensitive with Orangutan. The same ear splitting screeches that Marmoset unleashes when she doesn't get her way.

And before anyone blames Lion, it's not his fault. He's in auto sales and as we all know retail is in a heap of hurt right now and we won't even glance in the direction of the automotive industry. He is doing more than his fair share lately - and I thank him! When I looked at him today (apparently with a crazed, possessed, almost homicidal look in my eye) and asked him if I could have a time out tomorrow, he didn't even blink before he said, "Sure." Bless the man!

#3. I have decided that I am going to take the same approach to Christmas as I did last year. I have made up my mind yet again that I will NOT let it push me. I thought I would share this little bite I posted last Christmas and let you all chew on it for a while.

"So what's the big decision? I will not stress out. I have decided that no matter what happens and what I do not get completed I will NOT lose my mind or get stressed. That's not what this is supposed to be about.

I recently watched "The Nativity Story." I watched Mary through the story and I have spent a lot of time reflecting since. Here was a woman who was told by God that she's going to have His child. She is not married and really has no idea if her fiancee is going to take this news well much less believe her. She could be killed by the people of her town when this news gets out. She sits quietly believing that it's all going to be okay and waits.

Then late in her pregnancy - about the point where I decided that I wasn't interested in doing ANYTHING - she is called to go on a 3 day journey on the back of a donkey. She packs her bag and rides quietly over hideous terrain and waits.

They get to Bethlehem and folks are less than hospitable to her situation. She sits on a donkey and waits.

Finally a place is found for her - a smelly stable with a bunch of animals. The baby comes and all the visitors come and go. Angels sing and it's a great moment. You know what Mary did? She sat and she pondered all the wonders in her heart.

At no point in the story did Mary start to whine and pull her hair out and race from place to place trying to make everyone else happy. She could have run away from home. She could have committed Hari Kari (or whatever the Hebrew version was). She could have completely lost her mind. She sat in peace and allowed God to do his will.

Things at our house are not the best. We have bills to pay; we have all the Christmas preparations to make; hubby has a lot of long hours between now and Christmas. I have decided to sit quietly and wait. I don't know what I'm getting my children or my hubby for Christmas or even where the money is coming from to make those purchases. I don't know what I'm cooking for Christmas dinner. I don't even know who is eating Christmas dinner with us! In all of this I will sit quietly and wait. I got my gift 2000 years ago when Mary sat quietly and waited on the Lord. "

So there. You have three bites of Zookeeper brain junk. Have fun with them and the first person to tag me gets an exhibit in the mail!

The Blog Party!

Listen. I know I have already posted about the MomDot Christmas Blog Party but I have to tell you that if you aren't part of this - as blogger or spectator - you will miss out big time!

We got the list of topics early this week and there is soooo much blog fodder in this that I have already started working on my posts. People, I don't laugh at my own stuff often but even I think I am coming up with some real gems! And if that wasn't reason enough guess who gets to write a feature for the MomDot home page?

You may bow and peel grapes now. That's right Zoo Butts! I will be writing a feature and if the rough draft is any indication it could be a doozie!

Here. I'll give you a peek at the topic list.

*Traditions, what are some of your favorite family traditions? What are some traditions you want to begin?
*What is your favorite Holiday recipe, describe your Holiday table, biggest holiday cooking disaster (I'm tuning in for the disaster part myself!)
*Favorite holiday memory from YOUR childhood (RD, you better tune in for this one)
*Who’s on your naughty list? Who's on your nice list? Why? (Guess whose feature this is!!)
*Most unusual gift you have received? Best gift? Do you re-gift?
*If you could only eat ONE food on Thanksgiving Day, what would it be? Do you have a homecooked meal for Thanksgiving or do you go out to eat? Does your family dress up?

And that's only half of them! Now tell me that you don't want to get in on this. Think of the stress reliever this is going to be as you face the holiday stuff. I will be adding a Mr. Linky to each post so that folks can drop their posts off for you to visit.

And did I mention that participants can earn entries into a really awesome giveaway pull? So come on! Warm up those fingers and get ready to really have some fun this holiday season!

A Letter from the Zookeeper

Dear S.M. Rhino,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your recent change of heart in regards to your bathroom habits. I know you and I have had our disagreements over your former habits and that there were times that those disagreements got quite ugly.

However, I want you to know that not only am I incredibly grateful for your change of heart but I am very proud of you for reaching said change on your own. When the Lion informed me that you put your new habit into practice in the middle of the night last night, I was tempted to cry.

I would also like to thank you for your change of heart toward grooming. No longer do I hear wails and experience gnashing of teeth when it is time to get groomed. This has relieved a great deal of stress in my zookeeping. And your timing couldn't have been better as the Marmoset has taken to throwing screeching fits over just about everything if it doesn't go her way.

Now, there is only one barrier to a peaceful exhibit remaining. Could you please look into your motivation for the Orangutan harassment that has been taking place as of late? As you are aware Orangutan has become very emotional as of late and your chronic harassment of her is elevating the stress in my Orangutan tending. During grooming, please refrain from whacking her with whatever you can. And when called for feeding time, it would be tremendously helpful to me if you would just let her come to the feeding area without pushing, shoving and scrapping.

Thank you again for your recent behavior modifications. I look forward to many more improvements as time passes.

Your Zookeeper.