Zoo Talk and the Lesson of the Week

I absolutely promise you that all of these conversations/scenarios have happened within the last 24 hours. And now you will understand why I refer to it as a Zoo!

ZK (That's me): Son, did you ever get a tissue and take care of that thing earlier?
Rhino: Yup!
ZK: So the one I'm looking at now is new?

R: You betcha!

From the dungeon (aka playroom)
O: Why won't you let me play with you? You are the meanest brother EVER!!
R: Oh Ho! You think so?

(I think he took it as a challenge!)

M: Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! (running up and down the hall waving her hands above her head wide eyed and crazy like)

ZK: What are you doing?

M: He's gonna get me!!
ZK: Who?!

M: (looking around all 360 degrees) Well, now. Where did he go?

O: Hey Momma, you know the cartoon when Pebbles and Bam Bam got married?
ZK: No. Did Pebbles and Bam Bam REALLY get married? I did not know that!
O: (all seriousness!) Mom. You really HAVE to watch more cartoons!

And finally, the lesson of the week from The Zoo:
I know you don't like how he's playing the game, but you can't make people play the way you want them to all the time. Sometimes you have to just go play a different game.

I know some adults who could use that lesson too, but we'll save that for another day, shall we?

******

And on a completely different note: Book count for our bedtime reading Project? 20 since Saturday night. None have been chapter books since we are at the beginning of The Project and a few of those have been repeats (Marmie thinks we should read Skeleton Hiccups every night) but so far the kids are loving the project. Our bedtime routine has gone much smoother since they know at the end of it they get to pile on the big bed and read. Yay!! We will probably try to start adding some more chapter books and classics this weekend and into next week.

While we're talking about it, The Project still has no name. A few that have been rattling around in my head for your consideration? The Bunkbed Project (since the girls just got bunk beds). Or Project Goodnight Zoo (a little nod to Good Night Gorilla). Feel free to toss your name suggestions our way. We will probably poll next week.

The Epilogue

**Because I've always wanted to write one. New to the saga? Catch up!

Horsefeathers (Part 1)
The Drip (Part 2)
The European Faucet (Part 3)


Now many of you are probably wondering what my plumbing adventure has to do with our theme here at The Zoo. It didn't involve my children. It didn't involve a letter of any kind. Well here it is.


Mom Tip #68: Regardless of gender, teach your child basic mechanics.

Girls or boys all need to know basic mechanics. How to change a tire. How to check their oil. How to change a filter in a HVAC unit. Definitely the importance of water shut off valves and breaker boxes.


Imagine, fathers in my midst, that you are able to send your daughter out into the world without worrying that she will be "taken" by some shady plumber or electrician. Imagine the pride mothers, of knowing that your son was able to help the young lady down the hall with a faulty electrical outlet thus saving her from the tragedy of flat hair.


Silverback called Monday night to see how my plumbing had turned out. He is not one to whoop and holler over our accomplishments. After all he taught us what to do. We should be able to just do it - nothing out of the ordinary. But I think I heard just a tinge of pride in his voice when I announced that the problem had been resolved and he would be able to review my handiwork when he comes to visit at Thanksgiving.


I wonder if I can replace the tank on the toilet before he gets here. I'll probably need some tools...

I Blame the Fever!

I actually had a brief moment today when I almost called Lion and said, "If our house was one room bigger I would consider having another baby."

I told you I had The Crud!!

I was driving with Marmie and her pal who hangs out with us every month, to snag the big exhibits from O/R.A.T. and something about driving past the golf course made me think that I wasn't insane enough. It was a good morning and the girls had taken a two hour nap so maybe it was a set up.

Then we got the touring exhibits in the livestock trailer and my fever broke. Orangutan was talking a mile a minute. Rhino was pouting about something. Marmie was scolding Spare and Spare was reminding me for the 9,427,836th time that her handler was coming to get her and was bringing chocolate milk when he did. It was chaos on a stick.

Then we got home and Orangutan had homework. The two little ones had to make potty rounds. Rhino had a temper tantrum because he wanted to play with playdough and couldn't until O finished homework and I was trying to put dinner together. Did I mention that Security decided he needed to go outside and bark at every squirrel, hickory nut, and bothersome leaf for 45 minutes?

I was in mid chop on a pepper when I started to laugh uncontrollably. For a brief little moment I actually thought a fourth child would be a nice addition. How soon we mothers forget spit up, midnight feedings, teething, blow outs, projectile peas, and baby proofing for a crawler. And that's even after the hearburn, feet in the ribs, pogo jumping on the bladder and tree trunk cankles of pregnancy.

So my fever has broken. I am still resolutely set against adding a fourth. Until the drugs wear off anyway...

Proof that We're Doing Okay!

Sometimes even moms need a little encouragement to know that they are doing okay. We don't get regular performance evaluations like other careers, you know! Unless you count the dinnertime feedback we get about green veggies.

This morning Lion was getting ready for the hunt and I was tidying up the Den. Through the sliding glass door I watched Rhino slip into the screen porch and scoop up a riding toy. When he did, he bumped a loose panel on the side of the hot tub base and it fell over. Poor little guy froze in his tracks.

He peeked out onto the porch, and then looked back at the panel on the floor. Back out on the porch and back at the panel. Then he slipped back out the door and very carefully and quietly closed the door. I, of course, was laughing hysterically at the whole thing because he had no idea I had seen him. And it goes without saying that I recounted the whole incident for Lion.

"Did you say anything to him yet?"
No. Are you going to get him or am I?
"I'll get him!"

And just as Lion was about to pull the big "Gotcha!" (because he's the one who didn't put the panel on right in the first place) Rhino came around the corner. He looked like he was about to cry but was trying to be brave.

"Ummm, Mom? I have to tell you something. I think I might have broken something."
Where buddy? (This is me laughing in my poor son's face!)
"Out there." I really thought he was going to cry!

Lion and I scooped him up and reassured him that he hadn't broken it at all.

But it just goes to show you. You have no idea if the lessons are getting all the way through those little heads and suddenly they bring it back to you.

Of course in about 10 more years he's going to start lying through his teeth . But until then I'll just revel in the fact that I did ok so far!

To my Friend J Jiggety

And any of my other followers who are teachers.


I am writing to apologize to you. I know that your job as a teacher is made infinitely more difficult by parents who do not take advantage of teachable moments and expose their children to new and interesting opportunities and experiences. I understand that science is one of those subjects that can use all the parental assistance possible as it is as much observational as it is hands on.


I am confessing to you right now that I intentionally avoided one such learning experience this afternoon on the way home from school. As we left to go to carpool duty, I noticed that one of our neighborhood sciurus carolinenis (squirrel) had met his (or her) demise on the street leading out of the neighborhood. Having grown up in a rural area I did not give it a second thought because, well, life happens like that. You think you've dodged a bullet and then you see the garbage truck grill.


We completed our assigned rounds and were pulling back into the neighborhood when I observed a cathartes aura (turkey buzzard) feasting on our fresh carrion. I must admit that I sped up a little. Initially my hope was to make said fowl lift off in flight but then I was reminded that should these particular aviators have a full stomach upon lift off they will void said organ. Not what I want to park in the garage. Therefore it became my intent to swiftly ease past my dining friend without startling him or drawing attention to his meal of choice.


I really had no desire to explain to my children why their favorite Over the Hedge character had just become an afternoon snack. I recognize that in doing so I missed out on a tremendous teaching opportunity. I beg your forgiveness and promise that when they are a little older (say 12?) I will make amends by seeking out feasting cathartes auras.


Thank you for understanding my situation and forgiving my cowardice.


Sincerely,
The Zookeeper

Mom Tip #60: Embrace a Child's Notion of Diversity.

I'm sure you all saw the Presidential news conference Monday night - well, you did if you turned on any one of the major networks or news stations. We happened to turn it on just as it started and Marmoset had taken a seat next to me to mooch part of my dinner.

A little piece of critical backstory - her best friend is a 3 year old African American boy. His mom is one of my closest friends and she's already heard the story so I know she wasn't offended but very highly amused. His two older siblings are also close friends to my children and have spent many an afternoon here deconstructing the playroom. And of course Marmoset attends a very diverse Sunday School class as well.

As soon as she saw the President on TV she looked up at me and said, "K?"
No baby. That's not K. That's Mr. President.
"Mr. Pezzz-dint?"
Right! (that's a big word for a two year old!)
"Pezz-dink K?"
No baby. K isn't the President.
"Pezz-dint head. K head."
Well, yes. The President and K both have heads.
"Pezz-dint nose. K nose."
That's right too.
"Pezz-dint ears. K ears."
Yup.
"Pezz-dint no hab peet (feet). K peet."

You have to love a toddler's concept of object permanance. If you can't see it, it isn't there. So Mr Pezz-dint didn't have feet since she couldn't see them. And since she knows that K has feet that must be what makes him NOT be the pezz-dint.

Wouldn't it be great if we could only tell each other apart by differences like our shirts rather than the differences over our skin?

Mom Tip #57

Take a lesson from yourself.

Oh yeah! Let's get ugly about this Mom Tip thing shall we? For review here are a few things that I have said to my children in the last 48 hours.

*Please come into the same room as me if you want to talk.

How many times have I tried to talk to them or to my husband and I'm in a completely different part of the house doing about 17 noise creating tasks? Of course they aren't going to hear me or even try to listen for that matter.

*A fit will get you absolutely nowhere.
*You can scream all you want but all that does is turn my ears off.

I'm blushing and cowering in shame right now as I approach the second statement on our list. I throw fits all the time. To them. To LM Lion. I rant and I yell and I expect it to serve some purpose. That of course links up nicely with number three. I'm pretty sure as soon as I start to raise my voice my children's ears disengage. Just like mine do when LM Lion and I get heated.

*Your brother is three feet away - why are you yelling?

I do this all the time! Now in my defense it's usually beacause I don't realize that someone has snuck up behind me or because my ears are stopped up from yet another sinus infection. But just the same. I had a serious reality check the other day when the Rhino looked at me and said, "Geez Mom! I'm right here! And I CAN hear you!" Can't imagine where he heard that before.

*The longer you sit there the longer it is going to take to get anything done.

Now, the sitting part isn't my problem. It's the walking in circles that gets me. I can walk from one room to the next for hours and never get a blessed thing done. How many times this very morning have I walked into the bathroom to get a tissue? And I still haven't taken the 3 minutes it takes to clean the toilet and sink.

*You don't work with the TV on so I'm turning it off.

I can sit and stare at this mammoth basket of laundry that needs to be folded but sitting here staring at it isn't going to fold it. And the TV. I can work with the TV on but this blasted computer and I have to come to an agreement. Stop calling my name! Stop suckering me in with, "but someone famous may have just commented on your brilliant take on housekeeping!"

*A spoonful of vegetables hasn't killed you in the last 5 years. I doubt it will start now.

And a spoonful of veggies has never killed anyone. And neither has a glass of water. Or a nice fresh apple. Or a break from whatever that business is that keeps me from eating on a regular basis.

Kinda hurts, yes?

I'm just saying. Maybe I should pretend I'm my own mother for a day. But then what would she do?

No Meatballs Here!

Sorry Ikea fans. On this trip to Sweden there are no meatballs or furniture with funny names. Man I love Ikea! No, this time it's just your traditional Swedish Christmas. But prepare yourself because I am pretty sure you are about to encounter some traditions that very few of you have ever heard of much less experienced!

Christmas in Sweden begins with the lighting of the first Advent candle. The first widely held celebration though is on December 13th for the celebration of Santa Lucia. Lucia was a Christian martyr who legend tells took food to persecuted Christians in Rome. She wore a wreath with candles on her head so that she would be hands free to deliver and serve. In her honor the eldest daughter of the home will dress in a white gown with a red sash, wear an evergreen wreath complete with lit tall tapered candles, and will serve her parents a breakfast of coffee and Lucia buns. She is accompanied by the other children of the house who also dress in white; the girls with glitter and the boys with pointed starry hats. {Side note - when I pictured the Orangutan in said outfit I had a moment but that's just me!}

The Christmas tree is not brought into the home until the two days before Christmas. It is decorated with candles, apples, Swedish flags, and small gnome figures. many of the decorations may be made of straw. The decorations made of straw are meant to serve as a reminder of the birthplace of Jesus in the manger. The homes are decorated with red tulips and the smell of gingerbread biscuits called Pepparkakor lingers through the home.

You are familiar with the term smorgasbord right? Well welcome to its origin. The buffet with is served on Christmas Eve is complete with fish dishes such as lutfisk (dried, lye soaked codfish) herrings and salmon dishes, turkey, Christmas ham, pickled pigs feet, and many other meat dishes. The finisher to the meal is the Risgryngrot - a special holiday rice pudding that contains one whole almond. It is told that the person who finds the almond in their pudding will marry in the coming year.

After the meal there is a visit from Tomte - a gnome that lives under the floorboards of the home or the barn and cares for the family and livestock throughout the year. Some legends tell that if one takes very good care of the livestock during the year Tomte appreciates the help and provides a gift accordingly! (I think I just heard mothers around the blogosphere suddenly adopting Tomte!)

Christmas Day begins with a service at church and is followed by a day of family and rest. But the holiday season does not end until January 14th or Knut's Day. On Knut's Day the children may dress up as Knut and play practical jokes while they snack on the edible ornaments from the tree. Then the trees are returned to nature to rejoin their fellows.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I had to close my mouth as I read about these traditions. Maybe I am revealing my closed mindedness but I had no idea just how many very different versions of Christmas there really were. There is one thread that I have found in all of the traditions and customs that we have come across. There is always a time set aside for rememberance and family.

I know we have crossed over into the dreaded ten day countdown to Christmas and I know that there are probably some stress levels climbing even as I say that. But please take this moment and this reminder to look at who and what is around you. Remember the Reason for the Season and make sure to take time today, tomorrow and every day to show those you are fussing over and for what they mean to you. The paper will be gone in two weeks. The presents will be mixed in before the month is out. Take time for family!

God Jul! (Good Yule!)

Brain Junk!

I am breaking from form and format to empty my brain a little. It's my blog I can do that! And I have an ulterior motive. I need to time my posts so that my 100th comes right when I want it.

So here's a little dose of Zookeeper brain junk.

#1. I have never been tagged in one of those "Tell me 7 things" tags. I am eternally grateful. I hate those things! I don't mind telling you about me but I would prefer to reveal bits and pieces of my quirkiness naturally rather than listing them. This just came to mind as I was reading through my reader and I noticed that Jen from Cheaper than Therapy has been tagged 3 times (that she's responded too)!

Now there are two ways you can read this. A) my readership is so small that folks just don't get to me as they are scrolling through their blogroll. Or B) folks really don't care to get to know me that much. I'll take Option A thank you! Sure I wish I had more readers but to think that I am that boring? Well, that just hurts!

#2. I need a time out. My children are really driving me into the bat exhibit. And it's not like they are doing anything that they don't normally do. They are up to their normal nonsense and failure to listen and spasing out and bullying - ok maybe the bullying has been stepped up. I guess it's just that I have been dealing with it non-stop for about 3 months. Day in and day out. All day. The same arguments with the Rhino to put clothes on. The same speeches about tattling and being overly sensitive with Orangutan. The same ear splitting screeches that Marmoset unleashes when she doesn't get her way.

And before anyone blames Lion, it's not his fault. He's in auto sales and as we all know retail is in a heap of hurt right now and we won't even glance in the direction of the automotive industry. He is doing more than his fair share lately - and I thank him! When I looked at him today (apparently with a crazed, possessed, almost homicidal look in my eye) and asked him if I could have a time out tomorrow, he didn't even blink before he said, "Sure." Bless the man!

#3. I have decided that I am going to take the same approach to Christmas as I did last year. I have made up my mind yet again that I will NOT let it push me. I thought I would share this little bite I posted last Christmas and let you all chew on it for a while.

"So what's the big decision? I will not stress out. I have decided that no matter what happens and what I do not get completed I will NOT lose my mind or get stressed. That's not what this is supposed to be about.

I recently watched "The Nativity Story." I watched Mary through the story and I have spent a lot of time reflecting since. Here was a woman who was told by God that she's going to have His child. She is not married and really has no idea if her fiancee is going to take this news well much less believe her. She could be killed by the people of her town when this news gets out. She sits quietly believing that it's all going to be okay and waits.

Then late in her pregnancy - about the point where I decided that I wasn't interested in doing ANYTHING - she is called to go on a 3 day journey on the back of a donkey. She packs her bag and rides quietly over hideous terrain and waits.

They get to Bethlehem and folks are less than hospitable to her situation. She sits on a donkey and waits.

Finally a place is found for her - a smelly stable with a bunch of animals. The baby comes and all the visitors come and go. Angels sing and it's a great moment. You know what Mary did? She sat and she pondered all the wonders in her heart.

At no point in the story did Mary start to whine and pull her hair out and race from place to place trying to make everyone else happy. She could have run away from home. She could have committed Hari Kari (or whatever the Hebrew version was). She could have completely lost her mind. She sat in peace and allowed God to do his will.

Things at our house are not the best. We have bills to pay; we have all the Christmas preparations to make; hubby has a lot of long hours between now and Christmas. I have decided to sit quietly and wait. I don't know what I'm getting my children or my hubby for Christmas or even where the money is coming from to make those purchases. I don't know what I'm cooking for Christmas dinner. I don't even know who is eating Christmas dinner with us! In all of this I will sit quietly and wait. I got my gift 2000 years ago when Mary sat quietly and waited on the Lord. "

So there. You have three bites of Zookeeper brain junk. Have fun with them and the first person to tag me gets an exhibit in the mail!

A Moment Away from the Zoo

Please pardon me while I diverge from the normal Zoo nonsense. I have found myself thinking deeper than usual Zoo related thoughts today and really wanted to share. We will return to the normal level of insanity sooner than I would like, I am sure.

If you have not been by The Bowl today, take a moment and pop over. And that is not the traffic directing ploy it looks like - it really is relevant. Earlier today I let a vent go about our gas situation and then an apologetic letter to Karma for my outburst. Now I have had vacuuming and two loads of laundry to ponder the gas situation more and have a whole new perspective.

Every time we have gotten in the van for the past two days I have muttered under my breath, "God give me enough to get there and back." Maybe not your most faithful prayer and certainly not something I expected anyone to pay attention to. But then we got the call from the Lion today and went to the station that had gas. As we pulled up, Tuck piped up from the back seat, "Hey Mom! God heard you! He gave us gas!!" Eye opening in and of itself wouldn't you say!

As we sat there waiting our turn I peeked in the side view mirror to see how the line was going. Several cars back there was an older body damaged car that looked like it might need an extra push to get to the pump. I looked past it quickly without really noting. Then it was our turn and I busied myself with swiping my card and hitting all the right buttons and putting the nozzle in my tank. It was my full intention to fill up and top off my tank. The Tie was not going to have another opportunity to stick it to me any time soon!

Then I saw that car again. This time though I saw the people in the car. It was a family with two car seats. The mother let a small smile pass her face every time her hubby pulled into the next place in line. The father kept looking over at her and giving her reassuring smiles which faded as soon as she looked away. The anxiety was so incredibly clear as they got one car closer. Would there be enough? Would they be the last car to get a tank?

I stopped the pump. I knew I only had about half a tank but I just could not put any more in my van. Where do I go everyday? To pick Mo up from school and bring her home. That's it - three miles round trip. Where did that father go every day in that car that was already on its last leg? What if the seven gallons I didn't put in my van gave him a chance to take one extra shift? What would that mean to his family? Would it make a difference?

I did not know those answers. I had no idea if I was going to make any difference. But I knew how I felt when The Tie took more than I thought he needed. It just wasn't in me to do that to a family that seemed to be in need. I knew I was going to have to explain to Lion why I only had half a tank. I knew he was going to say I was foolish but then he would look as his children and give me a hug and that smile that admits I was right - just not out loud.

I didn't give Tuck a lecture about taking just what you need on the way home. I didn't even mention the God statement again. As I watched him smiling and looking out the window on the way home I thanked God for giving me gas and a heart to share it.