The Great Switch-a-Room Day 6: By the Numbers

No vlog today because all I could really show you is a blue and white jail cell. No kidding! With all the tape on the walls to mark out the stripes it really looks like a blue and white cell. I find it funny because this project is feeling like a life sentence right now.

So to pick up my mood a little before I head in "there" for my 14 feet of servitude I thought I would give you the rundown of how this project has been going - by the numbers.

1 - the number of people currently working on the project.

31/2 - the number of rolls of painter's tape that have given their lives.

3 - the number of children who have provided non-stop interruptions.

2 - the number of drinks that have been spilled on the carpet to date (why do I feel like this is not done?)

851 - the number of times I shot myself in the face with the laser level today.

1,704,269 - the number of times I have climbed the ladder or have asked my children to please get off the ladder.

45 - the number of minutes I searched for my pencil after one of said children's interruptions.

1 - the number of laser levels that fell off the wall while I was searching for the pencil.

6 - the number of funky pencils that are in junk drawer

0 - the number of funky pencils in the junk drawer that are sharpened

35 - the number of minutes I searched for a pencil sharpener to sharpen a new pencil since the other one went on strike.

18 - the number of times I passed the bathroom mirror before I noticed that the "missing" pencil was stuck through my pony tail.

436 - the number of times I was able to pound my head against the wall before I passed out.

Did I mention that I'm ready for this project to be done? There is one more wall to tape off and then we launch into sponging mode. How many times to you think I'll lose my sponge? And where will I find it?

I probably don't even want to know!

The Great Switch-a-Room Day 2: Part 2

But Sarah! You promised there would be footage. Well, yes, I did. But there is none. Would you like to know why?

Because NOTHING happened.

Lion DID go pick up the beds. However he came home and informed me that we needed to refinish them and paint the girls' room before we installed anything. Let's just account for the next 5 hours by saying "less than pleasant." Orangutan is dissappointed to still be in her "old bed" and Rhino is annoyed that he is still in "squeaky bed and SHE's still here!"

The only one who really could not possibly care less is Marmoset. A compromise was reached this afternoon after the Zookeeper escaped the gates for an hour or two. Yes the room will be painted - more accurately I will sponge another color over the white. But the beds and dresser will have to be content with a good cleaning and possible touch up. Hopefully next weekend will be the actual install if not sooner.

And so Switch-a-Room enters a third day - aren't you all giddy with delight? There's a several Mom Tips in here. I'd stay tuned if I were you!

Brain Junk!

I am breaking from form and format to empty my brain a little. It's my blog I can do that! And I have an ulterior motive. I need to time my posts so that my 100th comes right when I want it.

So here's a little dose of Zookeeper brain junk.

#1. I have never been tagged in one of those "Tell me 7 things" tags. I am eternally grateful. I hate those things! I don't mind telling you about me but I would prefer to reveal bits and pieces of my quirkiness naturally rather than listing them. This just came to mind as I was reading through my reader and I noticed that Jen from Cheaper than Therapy has been tagged 3 times (that she's responded too)!

Now there are two ways you can read this. A) my readership is so small that folks just don't get to me as they are scrolling through their blogroll. Or B) folks really don't care to get to know me that much. I'll take Option A thank you! Sure I wish I had more readers but to think that I am that boring? Well, that just hurts!

#2. I need a time out. My children are really driving me into the bat exhibit. And it's not like they are doing anything that they don't normally do. They are up to their normal nonsense and failure to listen and spasing out and bullying - ok maybe the bullying has been stepped up. I guess it's just that I have been dealing with it non-stop for about 3 months. Day in and day out. All day. The same arguments with the Rhino to put clothes on. The same speeches about tattling and being overly sensitive with Orangutan. The same ear splitting screeches that Marmoset unleashes when she doesn't get her way.

And before anyone blames Lion, it's not his fault. He's in auto sales and as we all know retail is in a heap of hurt right now and we won't even glance in the direction of the automotive industry. He is doing more than his fair share lately - and I thank him! When I looked at him today (apparently with a crazed, possessed, almost homicidal look in my eye) and asked him if I could have a time out tomorrow, he didn't even blink before he said, "Sure." Bless the man!

#3. I have decided that I am going to take the same approach to Christmas as I did last year. I have made up my mind yet again that I will NOT let it push me. I thought I would share this little bite I posted last Christmas and let you all chew on it for a while.

"So what's the big decision? I will not stress out. I have decided that no matter what happens and what I do not get completed I will NOT lose my mind or get stressed. That's not what this is supposed to be about.

I recently watched "The Nativity Story." I watched Mary through the story and I have spent a lot of time reflecting since. Here was a woman who was told by God that she's going to have His child. She is not married and really has no idea if her fiancee is going to take this news well much less believe her. She could be killed by the people of her town when this news gets out. She sits quietly believing that it's all going to be okay and waits.

Then late in her pregnancy - about the point where I decided that I wasn't interested in doing ANYTHING - she is called to go on a 3 day journey on the back of a donkey. She packs her bag and rides quietly over hideous terrain and waits.

They get to Bethlehem and folks are less than hospitable to her situation. She sits on a donkey and waits.

Finally a place is found for her - a smelly stable with a bunch of animals. The baby comes and all the visitors come and go. Angels sing and it's a great moment. You know what Mary did? She sat and she pondered all the wonders in her heart.

At no point in the story did Mary start to whine and pull her hair out and race from place to place trying to make everyone else happy. She could have run away from home. She could have committed Hari Kari (or whatever the Hebrew version was). She could have completely lost her mind. She sat in peace and allowed God to do his will.

Things at our house are not the best. We have bills to pay; we have all the Christmas preparations to make; hubby has a lot of long hours between now and Christmas. I have decided to sit quietly and wait. I don't know what I'm getting my children or my hubby for Christmas or even where the money is coming from to make those purchases. I don't know what I'm cooking for Christmas dinner. I don't even know who is eating Christmas dinner with us! In all of this I will sit quietly and wait. I got my gift 2000 years ago when Mary sat quietly and waited on the Lord. "

So there. You have three bites of Zookeeper brain junk. Have fun with them and the first person to tag me gets an exhibit in the mail!

Mom Tip #54

If you want it done right,…well, you know the rest.

L.M. Lion confessed today. He really cannot clean the kitchen. He tries sometimes and I have to give him credit for that. But he really is not good at it.

The dishwasher ends up loaded inefficiently; the clean silverware ends up a jumbled mess; the counters get a lick (from the dog probably) and a promise (that the Zookeeper will be done folding laundry soon) on the best of days; and the mop asks him for ID if he even looks in its direction. Lion looked at me today with the most pitiful of looks I have seen from him in a while and said, “Please, can you do it? You’re just so much better at it than me. And it will get done faster.” The “faster” is what got to me. The rest of the exhibits were clamoring for food and there was no way they were getting any from the kitchen in its current state.

So L.M. Lion took off to get fuel for his leaf blower so that he could complete a “man” project while I tackled the disaster area before FEMA showed up. By the time he got back from the gas station and got his yard shoes on I had reestablished that counters DID actually exist and had scoured a layer of…something out of a few pots in the sink. Before he was done with the yard the counters and stove top had been cleaned, the floor had been swept and the mop had thanked me for not letting him fall into the hands of that mad man who had been eyeballing him. The small exhibits were enjoying their rations and even the dog had a look of gratitude for clearing a path to his food bowl.

Moms, I know we wish our significant others would help more with the housework. But do we really mean it? Really? Deep down we know that we are going to end up redoing the things they don’t do to our liking and we really don’t want to help in the yard anyway.

I’m just saying. If you want it done right,…well, you know the rest.

Mom Tip #47

Your children got a mission and they chose to accept it.

To undo everything you have done with in seconds of completing it.

It started with the dishwasher. I was unloading and putting everything away. Munch was pulling all the Tupperware out of the cabinet behind me.

Then it was the living room. I put toys in the cabinet; she took all the pillows off the furniture. I put the pillows back; she took all the blankets off the fireplace. I folded and put the blankets back; she took all the toys out of the cabinet.

Moving on to the bedrooms, beds were unmade while shoes were put away. Stuffed animals were put in the laundry basket while beds we remade. Shoes went for a walk around the house while stuffed animals were sorted back out and put on their respective beds.

And speaking of the laundry basket! No need to sort while she’s around. The dirty stuff will end up in the dryer. The clean stuff will end up on the floor and the wet stuff will end up under the comforter on my bed. ::sigh:: I sorted it all out, got a load going and trudged to my room to fold. She insists on being on the bed while I am in the room. This was the perfect timing to unfold each pile, knock as much as possible on the floor, and smile and laugh the whole time.

I gave up. How can she undo vacuuming? So I started only to have the vacuum go dead in my hand. She had unplugged me. Not once but three times. I would plug it in, walk back to the vacuum, start it up and maybe get two passes in before it went dead.

Remember how I said that there were some days when you just were not going to get anything done? Today is one of those.