Mom Tip Not so Mini

Contrary to what Wikipedia says, I think Murphy was a mom, not a scientist.

I had to run by CVS today before we went to pick up Mo from school. We popped in I grabbed what I needed and we got in line at the register. Of course this is when Murphy's Law kicked in.

You know how SM Rhino refuses to potty train? That only applies if we are somewhere that has an easily accessible restroom for customers. CVS doesn't have one of those. "But Mom I think the peeps are gonna come out!!! Stay peeps! Stay!!" Why not? I have no dignity left; let it rip son!

So I pay for our purchase, rush out the door and toss it in the van and then start to sprint up the hill to the Starbucks with an 18 mo old on one hip and three year old in the other hand. Whew! We made it! Thank goodness because that in the back of my van would have been truly Murphy.

Of course I'm the only person in Starbucks aside from the three baristas on duty and the store manager over there in the corner. My guilt gets the better of me and I make up a reason to buy a coffee cake - after all we did just come in here and use their potty. The darling barista behind the counter offers us some hot chocolate samples and makes sure that Rhino is holding his. I turn for the briefest of moments to pay for the coffee cake and Rhino drops his chocolate. Not just on the floor but in his shoes.

Understand this about Rhino. He doesn't do messy very well. Playing in the dirt is fine but getting something wet and sticky on him is an absolute no no. Remember how I said I had no dignity? Yeah, well, any that was left vanished when he started a full blown melt down right there in the middle of Starbucks. Now I have to figure out how to clean both feet and the inside of his shoes before he'll even think about moving from his soggy chocolate puddle.

And NOW someone else walks in. Where was she three minutes ago? If she had been here I would have slipped unnoticed out a side door and skipped the whole bathroom rental coffee cake! She of course was offered a chocolate too. As I finally got it together I rounded up my coffee cake, my children and a chocolate.

The only problem is that I don't think that was my chocolate.

Oh yeah. Murphy was definitely a Mom.

Mom Tip #43

When your children start school, start setting multiple alarms.

And by multiple alarms I mean a dozen at least and all different and if you can get a firetruck to drive by your house on really important days, go for it!

Three guesses what happened at our house this morning. I woke up 15 minutes before we were supposed to be pulling out of the garage. The rest of the Zoo was knocked out and by knocked out I mean coma state.

The school girl of course didn't want to get out of bed so after 5 minutes of begging, pleading and threats I finally just flipped back the covers, grabbed two feet and started dressing her in her sleep. NutriGrain bars are ok for a 4 year old's breakfast, right? They have "Nutri" as in nutritious in the name! And if I give her a cup of orange juice to wash it down with in the car that will work. I know her dentist would completely approve of a Listerine swish and spit on the tooth front too, wouldn't he?

The child crawled back in bed! Apparently she missed the part where Mom's head was about to spin off her shoulders. The Nudist took it upon himself to "help." "MO! GET UP!! WITE NOOOOOOOW!!!!! I SAID (drag that out a little), GET UP NOW!!!!"

Now the baby was yelling from her crib in the next room (I can't imagine why.), the dog is howling, Lord of the Manor is fussing because I "let" him over sleep, and Magoo is protesting Tuck's wake up tactics. I, in the meantime, have realized that I forgot to pack Mo's lunch last night so I'm trying to assemble a bologna sandwich, remember to pack the water bottle and cajole Mo into eating her real breakfast of cinnamon toast. Where's my coffee? Oh yeah! I didn't set that up last night either.

Cram Mo's feet into her shoes, wave a magic hairbrush over her head, do a quick pass with the toothbrush (sorry Dr. King!) and head for the van. This is when Beloved announced that he was getting in the shower and the baby and The Boy had to go with me to take Mo to school. Are you on something?! But off we go. Oh yeah!! Maybe putting some contacts in would be a good idea. I mean it helps if you can see while you're driving. And a bra would be a good idea just in case I have to get out of the van.

We made it on time. The child was fed, dressed, brushed (teeth and hair), and smiling when she left the van.

I rewarded myself with Dunkin Donuts! I'll be calling the fire station this afternoon. Those Christmas cookies I deliver every year have to get me SOME perks!