Summertime, and the Livin's Cray-zee!

Well, this is it. The time of year that every stay home mom dreads. Summer. The time when the following questions play in your head even while you are asleep (which I think we have established, mom's don't ever really do).

What do we have to eat?
Is it time to eat?

What can we do now?

Can we go to the pool now?

and of course the every popular collection of catch phrases...

I'm bored.
I'm hungry.
He/she did (insert ultimate world ending evil here) to me!!

I thought I was going to be ok. I made a plan two weeks ago. O is having some literacy issues at school so we are going to have Zoo Summer School! I am Super Mom and therefore I can come up with activities and games and other occupations to help her learn in a fun and engaging way.

Yesterday was Day 1 of my Super Plan. We woke up and hour later than I had planned. Marmie sat on the potty for 15 minutes with no result. And Rhino peed his bed. While I was stripping sheets Marmie went into the kitchen and peed on the floor which of course O walked through. I mopped up the mess and handed out breakfast. We had a nice little chat about what we were going to do while everyone ate and I unloaded the dishwasher.

Breakfast was wrapping up nicely when Marmie got out of her chair and peed on the floor again. Three guesses what O did! Yup, walked through it again!

Ladies and gents that was all before 9 AM yesterday.

The rest of the day went rather well. Our letter of the day was B so we drew B's in grits on cookie sheets; did a B treasure hunt around the house; beat Mom on the head with a baseball bat! (Not really but a late cup of coffee and missed breakfast made me feel like it.) All in all we managed to salvage it and have a good day.

Fast forward to today when we decide to take a trek to the pool. The usual departure chaos but overall a pretty easy time getting out of the house. Being that it is still early in the year, the water was the expected cold but children have no thermostats so they didn't care which meant that I COULDN'T care. Swimming, swimming, swimming.

Hey gang. Let's take a potty break. Rhino had been refusing to get back in the pool for a good 15 minutes and when we went to the potty I learned why and thanked God. Serious debris in the mesh swimming trunks. (Sure! Go ahead and gag. I did!!) Pack everyone up and trek back while watching "stuff" fall out his pant leg. (Gagging again!)

Did I mention that we have been doing a letter of the day? Yeah and today's was P. I really didn't need this many words that started with P.

My Mommy by Orangutan!

This morning was O's Mother's Day program at school. They sang for us and then presented us with gifts and a little interview that they put together with the teachers. I'll sharee the interview first (because the computer is slow and hasn't finished loading the video yet).

These are the answers to 10 questions the teachers asked Orangutan.

1. My dad calls my mom Sarah.
I would have said he calls me "Honey where's the..." but it was her interview not mine.

2. My mom is as tall as a pole.
Not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's better than being as tall as a frog, right?

3. My mom weighs I don't know. I never weighed her before.
Good use of diplomacy O. I am so glad she stuck to the scientific answer! By the way the low bid out of all the moms was 10 pounds I think. She looked good too!

4. My mom is 19 years old.
Boy, I sure wish I felt like I was 19! My knees actually made audible creaks this morning. And the low bid on age was 5 - yes, that would mean simultaneously being born and giving birth. Not a labor I want to be part of thank you very much!

5. Her favorite drink is fancy ones.
Maybe cocktail hour has been happening a little early lately! Eeek!

6. Her favorite restaurant is fancy ones.
The correct answer here is any! As long as I don't have to clean I'm golden.

7. She likes to play with us for fun.
Or take a nap, or watch a movie or write, but yeah, playing with them is a pretty good deal too!

8. She enjoys cooking pizza.
Time to shake up the dinner menu again!

9. She looks prettiest when she wears a black dress.
She could have said "dress" in general or "when she actually showers" so I'll take this one.

10. My mom is so smart she can even get me, my brother, and my sister a playground that you can pick a circus, then switch again and find a new one. If you get on the sun the game is shorter.

See, what she was trying to say is that I'm so smart I can get them to play a board game together with minimal bloodshed. But instead she described the game.

And now (an hour and a half later) I can share with you the musical number from our morning. O is in the very back because she's one of the tallest in her class. Sorry about the quality. It's from our digital camer. Any one who would like an idea for a birthday gift (coming up soon!) is welcome to remember that a gift card to Best Buy is a really GOOD idea! (Pass it on sis!)

When Animals Attack!

This has been a very strange week for me animal wise. I'm not sure why but it seems that every day this week there has been an animal related incident that has made me laugh or freak me out.

Sunday I was planting on the porch and suddenly saw a little gecko pop out from under the door between our screen porch and our deck. Being the educationally encouraging mother I am, I called Orangutan and Rhino out of the yard where they were playing in the sprinkler to observe this gift of nature. We even had a deep conversation about how his tail ould fall off if they touched it. And then he ducked back under the door.

Please keep in mind that our screen porch is just off of our master bed room and the sliding glass door has been open to air the house out. Rhino pursued our little friend into the screen porch and I went back to planting. At least I went back to planting until I heard this.

"It's ok pal! My room is right there across the hall. Just run through Mommy's room to the other side."

Yeah, no! I am not up for lizards in my bed, under my bed, or rotting in Rhino's closet. No sir! Lizards stay outside, thank you very much!

Fast forward two days to a phone call from my college roommate during which she recounted the capture of 8 (or nine - we're not sure) crickets that were released in her car. Did I mention that she didn't find out about the crickets until it was dark and she was driving said car? Yeah.

And then we called Grand Keeper and Silverback. Chat, chat, chat. Grand Keeper erupts in unexplained laughter. "Mom? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure but your father is dancing." This peaks Orangutan's curiosity because she knows Silverback is an "awesome" dancer. "Why is he dancing, Grammy?"

More laughter followed by lots of stomping. "There's a bee in Poppie's pants!!"

My mother had put laundry out on the clothesline last weekend and a bee got trapped in my father's pants and stayed there all week. Well, until he put them on last night anyway. The bee is no more. That was funny enough to make Orangutan laugh until she fell off my lap but the real kicker came next.

"It's not funny girl!" Silverback was chuckling himself. "If you think that's funny wait until I tell you about the mouse that ran up my leg and into my boot!"

And you were all wondering why I call this The Zoo!

Every Child is Unique in their Own Unique Way!

All together now. Well, duh!! But I don't think you fully grasp what I'm saying.

Yes, all children have their own personalities and likes and dislikes. They all look a little different unless they are identical twins and even then something differentiates the two. But there are some...we'll call them "quirks" to some children that make them a little more unique than average.

Example - The Rhino has taken to singing everything. (His father is so proud of his impending Broadway career.) He came up from the playroom while Lion, Silverback and I were playing Texas Hold Em Saturday evening panting like a dog. "Are you a dog now son?" I asked thinking he was just pretending that the climb up the stairs had taken it out of him.

"No Mom! I'm a boy! But I have to (threw his arms open as wide as he could) PEEEEEEEEE!!!"
He sang that last little bit like he was Pavarotti center stage at the Kennedy Center. My head immediately hit the table and the next thing I knew I was laughing so hard I couldn't decide if I should hyperventilate or cry.

As if that wasn't enough, I handed out some leftover jelly beans for dessert last night. Marmie decided that she didn't really want hers so suddenly they were gone. When I asked what happened to the beans, Rhino piped up with (to the tune of There's a Hole in the Bucket)

"I put them in my mouth and I chomped them.
I chomped them. I chomped them.
Put them in my mouth and I chomped them.
I chomped them right down."

He's special.

Then you have Marmie. She took her uniqueness to a whole new level today. Tell me. How do your children react to Tylenol? Legally induced coma? Nothing? How about Crackhead? Do any of you get that? Because that's what I got!

She woke up spitting mad at the world and complaining that everything was owie from her nose to her knees and even her "hairsh" were "bad." She felt a little warm so like the loving and concerned mother I am I studied the Tylenol label and gave her the dosage recommended for her size and age. BBBRRRNNNTT! Wrong answer!

Yes, her mood improved dramatically. She started running in circles singing, talking and babbling to herself like a lab rat on speed. At one point (and the video of this would have been AWESOME!) she did that lay on your side and run in a circle thing. Then she rolled from one side of the room to the other. I kid you not when I say this child lost it in such a grand fashion I didn't know if I should call 911 or laugh my pushers off. As I told my sister, she went around the bend with both arms above her head screaming "Wheeeeeeeeee!"

And then she was fine. The spaz out lasted about 30 minutes and then she was mellow and sweet - my normal kid. I knew when her 4 hours were up though because she started all the whiny, achy, cranky nonsense all over again. Of course by then it was time for nap and this momma ain't no fool! I was not about to pump it into her a second time!

I even went so far as to wait until nap and carpool were over and I dropped her dose to a half. Maybe the whole dose was just too much for her. This time she ran circles around her friend yelling "R look at me! I runnin'! I runnin'!" Then she ran to the other side of the room and fell on her face. No lie! Like she was doing a belly flop into a pool - WHAM! Into the floor. She flipped over, said, "Hey Momma! I fall down! Wanna see 'gain?" And she lathered, rinsed and repeated! This time it was only about 15 minutes of insanity but insanity just the same.

She's special. And she is now limited to Motrin.

Tuesday Tribute: Heaven Bless the Bean People!

What? You expected some normal touching Tribute? Well then, you definitely have missed my last few tributes. Here's to the Bean People!

#5. Ageless, Always Home for Christmas, Big Brother Dude.

(This isn't him! But he DOES look familiar to me for some reason...)

You know him! The stud who always manages to come home for Christmas in the Folgers commercials. Now I don't drink Folgers coffee so his placement on this list is very special. He gets to be one of my Bean People because he never ages! This guy has been coming home for Christmas since the 80's and he has yet to go flabby, gray or bring home a woman. He's awesome and any woman out there who denies that she gets a little secret smile every year when he shows his devilishly handsome face is a big fat liar!

#4. The Ultimate Mountain Man and his Trusty Steed.

You know who I'm talking about - Juan Valdez! Who can't love an authentic Brazilian with a handsome burro? And the burro was always cooperative. Did you ever notice that? He never brayed or balked or just turned stubborn. You have to give this duo their kudos. I think they are the only Bean People I've ever seen do a cameo on the big screen. Know the movie? Bruce Almighty! Watch it again. They're there.

#3.Freaky Mer Woman with the Crazy Arms - or is that her tail?

Now this one makes the list because of the coffee - not because of the chick. She freaks me out. Are those her arms? And is she trying to tell me to think something special? Is she putting her caffiene juju on me? Nice hair by the way. Strategically placed wouldn't you say? But we have to give her some credit. Nothing starts your day off like a double shot venti caramel machiatto with extra cream and sprinkles. Or I could just shoot adrenaline straight into my heart.

#2. The Criers on the Roof!

I love these guys! It's the Dunkin commercial where the lady takes a sip of coffee and she's suddenly touting Dunkin's praises from her rooftop. There are two people in particular who get me every time though. The first is the lady who is too afraid to stand up so she ends up straddling her roof and hanging on for dear life. Watch for her next time. She makes me smile. But then you have the lady who makes me laugh. She stands up there in her bathrobe I think and screams "THIS IS MY SIXTH CUP!" No, really? No wonder you're on your roof! I'd be on the moon! Bless her heart.

And my #1 Bean Person is none other than Fred himself.

I am the worlds biggest Dunkin fan. From the blueberry cake doughnuts (Sorry Fer) to the Bavarian cream filled to the simple glazed. And don't get me started on the Munchkins - those puppies pop a little too easy. But the doughnuts aren't all that make them the #1 Bean Person. Now that I can get their coffee in just about every grocery store and buyer's club, I am in heaven. Have you had their coffee? It's a delightfully smooth and mild coffee that brews perfectly every time. Every morning this loving nectar flows into my coffee cup with just the right touch of cream and sugar and nurses me through my morning routine. It's all I can manage not to brew a second pot after Lion heads to the hunt.

Here's to the Bean People and all of us who support them like our life depends on it. Next week a tribute to the pharmaceautical companies who provide pain relief when we don't get enough of our Bean People.

Now if you were looking for the REAL Tributes head over to Jay and Deb's and find out who is truly worthy. Thanks again guys for letting me spout off and ruin the mood.

Tuesday Tribute: Mother's Little Helper

Jay and Deb are going to kick me out of Tribute if I keep picking such abstract and really quite bizzarre tributes. But I can't pass this up.

It's spring break week here and like all mothers I am losing my sanity bit by screechy little bit. I love my children. I do. They make me rely on "helpers" sometimes though and in an effort to be "real" I am opening the blinds into my helper life. I'll post these according to insanity levels.

Minor insanity is controlled by One Eyed Monster and his pal Don Vito Douglas Player. They kick into action when certain maintenance activities need to be completed to keep the house from caving in on itself. Quietly they entertain the masses by broadcasting favorite cartoons movies and other diversions. Admit it - they're your little helper too.

Growing insanity calls for Player Do. And while I fully understand that PD can contribute to the insanity by being crumbled into microscropic bits and ground into the used to be beige carpet or tracked onto the newly mopped floor, he still manages to occupy and distract long enough for basic hygiene maintenance.

Escalating insanity can usually be staved off by Transport and an off location recreation zone. Sometimes however the rec zone can be insanity in and of itself which is a risk a truly escalating situation requires (as well as a smack down on a four year old or two).

Out of Control insanity. This is one ugly fellow and I have found that he only speaks two languages. White Flag and Tom Collins. When the hair pulling has turned into kicking, scratching, screeching, naked toy throwing, tantrum having, pants pooping, tears flowing and the children can't handle me any more, they throw up their white flags and mix me a Collins.

What can I say? Spring Break brings out the best in all of us!

Now for those of you who were looking for a real Tribute, please head over to Jay's Place and snag a few links of heart warming treasures. There are people out there who really are sane and delightful. You should hang out with them.

You Might Not Want to Call 911.

We got love you packages from our favorite Z.I.T. today and the fun has been boundless. Well, it was fun once I convinced Orangutan and Marmoset that they could wait until after bath to put on their new pajamas. That part wasn't so fun.

Now the empty boxes have been converted into cars and more specifically police cars complete with steering wheels and walkie talkies.

Orangutan took hers off for a minute so she could decorate it and the Security Dog tried to bite it. She used her best gruff officer voice and told him, "Do NOT eat the police car! If you eat a police car you will get a ticket and get thrown in jail and you will have to eat mashed potatoes for the rest of your life for breakfast and lunch and dinner and even for your snacks."

I asked her if that is what people in jail have to eat. "Well something like that anyway!"

Officer Rhino has been busy chasing down bad guys in his unmarked car (he didn't want to decorate his) and has so far found three stores that were being "battacked (that's not a typo) by ugly bad guys." Because apparently all bad guys are ugly.

Officer O drew a "12" on the back of her car. I asked her if it was her car number and she said, "Yes. And I'm car #12 because I have arrested 12 bad guys so far. " The Grand Keeper was on the phone at the time and asked what they had done to be arrested.

"Some were robbing purses, and some were sticking up people, and some were robbing the bank. Well, a lot were robbing the bank but I got them all!"

Look at me. Raising such upstanding citizens. Who apparently would rather live in Idaho.

Another Economic Cutback.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise when I tell you that The Zoo has been impacted by the recent upheaval in the economy. So we've been doing what all of America has been doing - looking for ways to cut back in our spending. We'll today we went for the gold.

The Zookeeper took a few hours this afternoon to decompress and ended up buying a set of hair clippers complete with scissors, guards, combs and an instruction booklet. That's right Zoobies! The Rhino was in need of a haircut and while the $18 dollars I spent on the clippers would have covered the haircut at Snip-it's I was approaching this like an investment. If I was investing in entertainment, aggravation, and disaster, my return has been the best ever.

Let's talk entertainment. L.M. Lion was fancying himself a barber today so he put Rhino on one of the bistro chairs and got down to business. Surprisingly the back of the neck and the beginning stages went fairly well. But then it was time to head for the ears.

"Bud! You can't put your hands there!"
"Buddy! I have to be able to see your ears if I'm not going to cut them off."
"No! I didn't mean I was going to cut your ears off. I just don't want to cut you."
"I did NOT cut you!"
"Be still; I'm almost done."

"Well, crap. I messed that up, didn't I?"

It's not the Rhino's best haircut ever but he's a cute kid so he can carry it off. Let's just say that I think I might take a swing at the next haircut - it should be due right AFTER Easter.

Then (in mid-cleanup)..."If we can skip taking Rhino to the salon, do you think we could do the dog too?!" There was a little too much enthusiasm in that question and the next thing I knew the dog was in the hot seat. At least it was a much quieter encounter, but it WAS a two man job.

That's not snow on my sweatshirt and sweatpants.

The economics work out pretty well if we can master the technique. Clippers? $18. Haircut at salon for Rhino? $18 + tip. Grooming for Security Dog? $40 + tip.

Providing the Zookeeper with this much blog fodder? Priceless!

Mom Tip #62: Know your Limits.

I can handle three children at a time. There was a period last summer where I was balancing six children at a time but I call that my Loonie Period and really don't remember much of it. At least I came out with both of my ears. I think. Yeah, they're both there.

But I know I can handle three at a time. Yesterday I had a fourth because Orangutan didn't have OAT and my spare exhibit is here this week. Yesterdayday I started to consider my stance on drinking before noon. But I know I can handle three.

Lion asks for extra exhibits from time to time. I tell him no - three is my limit. He begs. He pleads. He talks sweet and he tells me how cute I was when I was preggers and how sweet it is to fall asleep with a baby on your chest. That's when I schedule a day like today.

Yesterday was a day when I intentionally called him half way through the third hour of screaming and running laps around the kitchen, dining room, living room circuit. I made sure I called him when the very large, very loud stray dog was throwing itself at the front door. I made sure I talked to him in the middle of the playroom meltdown. Side note: Gravity is what takes the toys off the shelf and children cannot battle gravity. But that's for another day.

And still he came home and wondered why there was a pile of popcorn still laying in the middle of the foyer hall where the two two year olds had made a "snowstorm" for the two big ones while I was trying to make their dinner, feed the dog, answer the phone, fold laundry, wipe noses, clean the bathrooms, save dinner from burning, bake shortcakes, prep our dinner, talk to Spare's father, trip over the dog, run the vacuum, and snatch myself bald. On one cup of coffee.

Did I mention that a very scary dog kept barking and throwing itself at the front door?

I'm just saying that I know I can handle three. There will not be a #4. I know my limits and yesterday I pushed them.

Mom Tip Mondays: Or Not!

I approached this morning with a fearful, "Oh my gosh! I didn't write a Mom Tip this week!" And I still haven't and I will probably end the day the same way. It has nothing to do with all of you. It really is all about me. I'm a lazy butt today who will try to blame it on the fact that I have an extra wee one in the mix this week. Never mind that I managed to get the Valentine's Day decorations down and the St. Paddy's ones up. I guess I just couldn't think of anything that might be helpful for you this week. Maybe next week will be better. In the meantime you'll just have to content yourself with more nonsense tips. I have a few of those brewing away in my skull!

Mom Tip #61: Expect the Expected

Um, Sarah? Don't you mean the "unexpected?" Nope. Sure don't. Because eventually you will expect things to go exactly the opposite of nature. I'm only five years into this mom thing and I'm already indoctrinated to be surprised at nothing.

I was on the phone with The Great Silverback (aka Poppie) the other night. Orangutan was in the playroom being delightfully quiet with her coloring books. Rhino and Marmoset were playing with his wooden train set in the middle of the living room floor and dinner was simmering away on the stove. All was well and The Silverback and I were having a delightful conversation.

Unprovoked and unannounced Marmoset picked up a piece of train track, stood up, and promptly WHACKED Rhino on the head. Without so much as a squeak Rhino picked up a piece of train track, stood up and whacked Marmoset on the head.

Suddenly, both of their eyes flew wide open, their faces contorted as if they were possessed and they let out screams, wails and gnashing of teeth all mashed up together. It was almost as if they were surprised that their skulls were throbbing with cartoonish heartbeats even though they had just actively participated in the exchange.

Silverback immediately said, "You need to go!" To which I very calmly replied, "No, I don't. But give me a second anyway." This was followed by the next very brief exchange.

Marmoset, when you whack your brother you have to expect that he is going to whack you back. Got it? Good.

Rhino, when she stands up with something hard in her hand, it's safe to assume that she is going to whack you with it. Next time duck. Got it? Good.

The Silverback was obviously in tears at my calm and well thought out directions. I'm sure it's awe inspiring to observe my parenting skills in action but I never thought I would move anyone to tears. Then again, if the Grand Keeper (aka Grammy) and her laughter were any indication, the tears may have been more AT me than because of their awe.

Paul Harvey, Ketchup and Cupcakes!

I feel a little like Paul Harvey right now.

I got a lot of comments about how gross Ketchup and Cupcakes sounded. I really feel I should explain that she did not put the ketchup ON the cupcake. And she did not mix the two in anyway.

They had the cupcakes as a late snack yesterday and unbeknownst to me (who was folding ANOTHER load of laundry!) "someone" (read Rhino) had gotten one of the chairs from the dining room table, pushed it into the kitchen, opened the cake safe (in spite of it's side locks) and snagged "seconds."

Do you remember last week when I told you that Silence is NOT Golden? This is me revising that statement to say "Silence is your first warning that SOMETHING is going on!" It was entirely too quiet in the kitchen when the oven timer informed me that the fishsticks were ready.

And that is where the ketchup came into play. But let's not assume that the fishsticks were actually ever put in the ketchup. No. The pan friend potatoes were used as a makeshift spoon to scoop the ketchup up and well, as the picture so aptly demonstrates, SMEAR it all over our face.

Red and blue do NOT make purple! They make a Mess!

And that is the rest of the story. Good Day!

Randomness Round Up!

It's Brain Junk Time! Woo Hoo! Time for me to brain dump all of the loonie stuff that has been swirling around in there and make room for more.

#1. And this is really important. Unless you are a rock star who is jumping the gun and celebrating the big V-Day on Friday instead of on Saturday, I'm guessing very few of you have something to do this Friday night. **Please don't correct me if I'm wrong. I don't want to be the only loser at home alone!**

So here's your something to do! Trisha has been hosting some Live broadcasts from MomDot sharing her knowledge of blogging, SEO (and that's not stick your ear out - silly me!), PR work, and other great blog growing tips she has found that work. But this week in honor of Friday the 13th (collective scream and gasp!) she's going to let us take the night off from school work and PARTAY! If you could see the lineup of sponsors for this thing you would be shorting out your keyboard too!

Tuck those wee cupids into bed early and check in over at MomDot at 8:30 Central (you do the math to find your own time)! Actually you probably want to keep checking in all week because she'll be posting instructions and more info about the games and party and such. Here's hoping I see you there. I hear there are cocktails involved! Everyone together now. "Uh Oh!!...."

Now #2 and this is really the end of the brain junk tonight. I am tired! I had this grand scheme to take the kids outside as much as possible this week since we are having some rock star weather. Fresh air, wide open spaces, running...exhaustion, early bedtimes, sound sleeping...Happy mommy!

Can we spell backfire? I'm beat! Yesterday one hour at the park climbing, running, keeping track of children (some not my own). Today an hour in the front yard planting some spring bulbs and cleaning up some leftovers from Sunday's yard work followed by another hour and a half at the park after we picked up the Orangutan. More running, climbing, tracking children that are not mine in hopes of keeping mine from losing body parts.

And silly me! I'm 31. I really should know better! But I went for it anyway. "Hey Mo! Watch this!" 31 year old mothers of three who are not gymnastics coaches have no business doing cartwheels. They shouldn't even smile at the notion of pulling (every muscle in their legs) one off with grace and skill and without (excruciating, star inducing) pain!

"Uh Oh" Has a Whole New Meaning.

For the first time since my 2 Coronas at last week's Super Bowl I made myself a little cocktail last night. I think I nursed the thing for a total of 5 hours so that just shows you what a drinker I am! L.M. Lion though likes to be funny so he strolled into the kitchen and said "Uh, Oh! Mommy's drinking again!"

Guess what Marmoset says now every time someone says "uh oh."

Mommy's Dinkin!

It's going to be an interesting morning at church THIS Sunday!

Welcome to the Rhino's Sleeping Standoff!

It's day three and it looks like the Zookeeper is beginning to lose her composure.

Day One of the stand off occurred due to a secret hideaway nap the Rhino managed to sneak in while the Marmoset and her exploding rear acted as 30 minutes of prime cover fire. Due to a bit of a chocolate high the Zookeeper caved and allowed Rhino to snuggle in the Lion's Den thinking that the Lion would relocate him to the Rhino/Orangutan exhibit at a later time. Lion never made it to the den thus leaving Rhino in the den for the whole night.

Day Two. Zoo lock down went as planned with all exhibits in their proper zones, covered and quiet. Thirty minutes later the Zookeeper stubbed her toe on a fleece covered "rock" that had managed to work HIMSELF from the Rhino/Orangutan exhibit into the middle of the hallway. After another 30 minutes of Lion snuggling and negotiation, the Rhino ended up...in the den. Again with the intentions of relocating him. Again, did not happen.

And here we are at Day Three of Rhino's Sleeping Standoff. We are at 10:32 PM and he is actively exploring the activity area of the Zoo without so much as a shadow of bloodshot in his eye. Sound effects are still in full effect and he has converted the activity area resting apparatus (aka playroom couch) into four carefully spaced landing zones for his imaginary kangaroo friend.

Send coffee. This Zookeeper is going to need it!

Mom Tip Mini on Listening

If you listen carefully you can hear some of the funniest things never put on stage.

From the Rhino: Did you see that Mom? I just fell off my legs.

I almost went in search of the missing parts until I realized that he meant to say "I just fell on my knees."

From the Orangutan: But I can't brush my teeth because then my orange juice will go to waste because you know Mom that I can't drink my orange juice after I brush my teeth because it will taste all funny and then you'll have to throw it out and Daddy hates it when we have to throw our juice out because we haven't finished it.

And I promise you not only did she never take a breath but that is verbatim what came out of her mouth. I can no longer say that she doesn't listen.

From the Marmoset: Ah neena noonle for Maxie licka me. Which means (because not everyone speaks Marmoset) "I need a noodle so I can put it in my mouth with a little piece hanging out so Max can eat it like a treat."

And yes, that does happen at my house. Not only do I serve naked noodles for dinner from time to time but the dog does get table scraps. And yes, the children have been known to put treats just between their lips and let the dog take them from their mouths. What can I say? He lives a great life. I have often told him that in my next life I'm coming back as him.

From the Lion: (and I have held this as long as I can) I am hyperactivating the fridgidity.

That was in response to my question of why there was a sealed glass jar of $6 apple juice in my freezer just waiting to explode.

And finally From the Zookeeper: If you are not naked in the next 2 seconds I am going to whoop that fanny all the way to Wisconsin!

A - I can't believe I even had to ask twice for someone to get naked! And B - The response I got was not a naked child. It was "where's Wisconsin?!"

Did I mention that in my next life I'm coming back as a dog?

Mom Tip #56

Children make really GREAT teachers!

The Orangutan went back to OAT yesterday (Thank You Lord!!) so it was just me and the Rhino and Marmoset here at the Zoo. When Rhino came to me at 9:30 asking if we could go get O I knew he was bored and if left to his own devices would start to find the worst possible things to entertain himself. We were having company for dinner so that was THE LAST thing I wanted. So I started to scramble for some ideas.

We ran a few errands to kill the rest of the morning, came home for lunch, put the Marmoset down for a nap and then started a few little projects. When we moved into our house 3 years ago, we found an abandoned bird feeder in the garage. Tuck decided that maybe we should put it to use. So we filled it up with some different bird foods and put it out in the yard. My education on outdoor life was about to get a real boost.

When we went back into the house he quickly closed the door behind me and then ducked down between our chaise and the sliding glass door. "Mom! Shhh! And get down!! The birds won't come if they can see you!"

He stayed there for almost half an hour - no small feat for a 3 1/2 year old - and not a single bird came by. As we were packing up to go get O, he told me that while we were gone the squirrels would take care of things. "What?" "The squirrels, Mom. They'll make sure the birds have their glasses so they can see the food and they'll send letters to let the birds know it's here." You just can't respond to that!

I thought that was the end of the birdfeeder for the day but oh, how wrong could I be! We were sitting in the carpool line waiting our turn when a flock of sparrows launched from one of the trees along the driveway. I heard a gasp from the backseat and as I turned around to see what was wrong I got quite the announcement!

"Mom, did you see those birds? They are going straight to our house! It must be time for their lunch."

The things one can learn from their children!

They must have gotten the squirrels' invite.

Mom Tip #55

Should a mom attempt to take a day (or even a few hours off), she should be prepared for the consequences of her diminished vigilance.

Now it is the Christmas season and between decorating, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and making gifts things are a little hairy here at Zoo Suburbia. I've been up at 6 and going to bed at 2 and lather, rinse, repeating for three weeks straight. I'm a little tired and more than a little punchy. So I thought I would cut myself a little slack and take a break today. I have been at this for five years - you would think that I would know by now.

We put the tree up last night and the Lion and I put the lights on and then he supervised while I put the basic decorations on. It was beautiful with the dried grapefruit and oranges, the homemade cinnamon clay and baking soda clay ornaments, the white twinkling lights and the candy canes. I just sat in the glow for a while last night and looked at it.

(Last year, just learning to crawl and explore)

This morning after everyone was distributed to their proper places I took a time out with my coffee and the blogosphere and just relaxed. I was happily reading along and commenting on friends posts when suddenly there was an EXTREMELY sticky hand on my arm. I really didn't want to look. I tried for the longest to ignore what I knew was inevitable. Then the thought occurred to me that the longer that sticky hand stayed there without moving the more it was going to hurt when it came off taking even the smallest armhairs with it.

I peeked out of the corner of my eye and my worst fears were confirmed. There beside me in all of her curly headed glory was my beloved little Marmoset, bright pink from her nose to her chin and grinning from ear to ear. In her other hand a remnant with a few faint red and white stripes left on it.

(This year, learning how to be sneakiy while maintaining the cute factor!)

What's a mom to do? I heaved a little sigh and scooped her up. But the fun wasn't over. There curled up in a lttle ball under the coffee table was a certain S.M. Rhino trying to shove the stepstool around the corner out of sight. I shooed him out from under and hustled them both to the bathroom to clean up. There were no canes on the bottom three feet of a nine foot tree. None. When interviewed about how many he had consumed Rhino assured me that he and Marmoset had only had two a piece. So what happened to the rest of the canes?

He had tucked them away in a secret stash under the coffee table. You have to give him some credit. He was smart. He was fast. And he was honest.

But the crash from that sugar high took me out! Last time before Christmas I take a day off!!

Count your Blessings; Name Them One by One!

Sniff. Sniff, sniff. ::wiping tears:: HOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKK! Sniff. Today is the last day of the Blog Party. Sniff. Ok. I'm over it. Know why? 'Cause that means Trisha starts to pull prizes soon! Woo Hoo!! Even if I don't win something, I already found a bunch of new stalkers - I mean blogs to stalk - I mean! Jeepers! Did I say that? I must be tired! But as great as you guys are, I better stinkin' win something!!

Sponsors: Day Twelve Blog Party Question is Brought to you by Georgie Tees and Mutsy.

VIP BLOGS to visit are Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

Well, anyway. The final question? Considering today is Thanksgiving, I think you probably already know.

I’m Thankful this Year because….___________

Oh where to start? I know in today’s financial climate and with the news that pounds at our brains everyday it is incredibly easy to get washed away in the hopelessness and despair. But I AM thankful.

My husband still has an income.
My children are incredibly healthy, funny, smart and fun.
I have developed a new hobby this year that has brought me some really great people to interact with even if it is on the other side of a computer monitor.
I have friends who are faithful and who take me as I am and where I am no matter what.
I have a warm home.

But the thing I am most grateful for is that I have The Present. If you haven’t read it yet you need to find Dr. Spencer Johnson’s The Precious Present and read it. It will take all of twenty minutes but if you really absorb it, it will change life for you. Especially right now.

I have learned from my past. I trust my Father with my future. I have The Present.

And for that I am Thankful!

Thanks for playing along in the blog party with me. Some of you have become regular rock stars on my reader. Some of you have made me laugh until I pee. But all of you have impacted me in one way or another. Thank you! And thank you to Trisha, Alicia and Bridgette and all the ladies at MomDot for all you did to make this happen! You guys Rock! Even from the other side of a computer monitor!

Grab some more warm fuzzies but checking in with the rest of the gang over at MomDot!

Oh! And Happy Thanksgiving!

Welcome to the MomDot Blog Party! (And my 100th Post!!)

I am so incredibly thrilled that this is Post 100! What a way to hit it!

So our Theme for Day 1: Intro to Blog Party, Introduce us to your family and share Holiday pics or videos of past years.


Sponsors: Day One Blog Party Question is Brought to you by La Belle Toile and This and That by Randi

VIP BLOGS to visit are Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

So you want to meet the Zoo? Brace yourself!

So first there’s me – I’m Sarah and I’m the Zookeeper (aka Mom!). When I’m not blogging (all 6 hours of the day that that happens!), I really enjoy cooking and baking; playing playdough; sewing and on the occasion that I can hide out on the deck with a book and a coffee – reading. I grew up in rural PA and now live in suburban Atlanta. I am not June Cleaver or Martha Stewart but I try really hard (or so I pretend).

Five minutes ago after children!>





Then you have Beloved, the Large Male Lion, my hubby Stephen. We met at the bank where I was working in 2002, and became pretty good friends. Our first official date was for New Year’s 2003 and in October of the same year we were married. I poke fun at him a lot but I love him with all I am and really don’t know where I would be without him – probably back in PA counting cows for a living.

Which brings us to Molly, Mo or as she is known here at the Zoo the Orangutan. Our firstborn is a bit of a wild thing. She has a very vivid imagination and loves to draw, sing, and make up stories. Mo is a HUGE Scooby Doo fan but has recently taken to singing the Smurfs theme song. What can I say? We like Boomerang!

Tucker. What in the world can I say? He comes by his Small Male Rhino alter ego naturally. Stephen and I can be stubborn but this boy makes us look like waffle makers. If he has made his mind up to do (or not do) something, you had better have large reserves of fruit on hand to make him change his mind. He is a very funny child and for those who can understand his small speech issues he can come out with some really great one liners. To which he would reply, “Aww shucks Ma! It’s nuffin!”

And now for the Pygmy Marmoset also known as Meghan, Munch or Mega Munch. If you took Mo and Tuck and mashed them together you would have Munch. She can throw a fit with the Rhino that makes dogs howl but she will dance and sing with Molly every chance she gets. I gave her the nickname Munch when she was very small because it was next to impossible to keep up with her appetite. Now that she is a full blown toddler I really don’t have to worry about it. If everyone else has left the table she just moves from seat to seat and finishes off the leftovers. Very entertaining to watch!

And finally you have the Security Guard, our Jack Russell, Max. I brought him into this family when he was just a couple of years old and Stephen was kind enough to adopt him. Now you would never know he was ever MY dog. Meghan wakes up in the morning looking for him. Tuck tries to get him to sleep in his bed every night and Daddy-O really doesn’t know how to nap without Max curled up with him. At eight years old he is incredibly tolerant of the ear pulling and belly hugging but every now and then I get that look that says, “Mom! Make them stop!”
And that my friends is The Zoo. It's a busy little place but we call it home. Feel free to stop by anytime! There may even be some cookies in it for you! Happiest of all theHoliday Seasons!

Want to Party like a rock star with the rest of the Mom Dotters? Head over to MomDot and meet the rest of the crew!