A Letter from the Zookeeper

Dear S.M. Rhino,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your recent change of heart in regards to your bathroom habits. I know you and I have had our disagreements over your former habits and that there were times that those disagreements got quite ugly.

However, I want you to know that not only am I incredibly grateful for your change of heart but I am very proud of you for reaching said change on your own. When the Lion informed me that you put your new habit into practice in the middle of the night last night, I was tempted to cry.

I would also like to thank you for your change of heart toward grooming. No longer do I hear wails and experience gnashing of teeth when it is time to get groomed. This has relieved a great deal of stress in my zookeeping. And your timing couldn't have been better as the Marmoset has taken to throwing screeching fits over just about everything if it doesn't go her way.

Now, there is only one barrier to a peaceful exhibit remaining. Could you please look into your motivation for the Orangutan harassment that has been taking place as of late? As you are aware Orangutan has become very emotional as of late and your chronic harassment of her is elevating the stress in my Orangutan tending. During grooming, please refrain from whacking her with whatever you can. And when called for feeding time, it would be tremendously helpful to me if you would just let her come to the feeding area without pushing, shoving and scrapping.

Thank you again for your recent behavior modifications. I look forward to many more improvements as time passes.

Your Zookeeper.

Wordless Wednesday

You've waited so patiently for it. So here's the Zoo on Halloween!

Mom Tip Mini

Think twice before adding last minute exhibits to your zoo.

I love my daughter. I love her friend. I love my son and I love his friend. Having a friend sandwich when you don't HAVE to is not a good idea. Yesterday I had Tuck's friend (because I keep him two days a week). But being the kind and generous person I am, I knew that the girls were out of school today for Election Day. I'll let Mo have an all day playdate!! That will be so nice of me!

Brrrnnnttt. And on top of that I took them all to the park where we met up with the other friends. That's right Zoo fans! I single handedly took four children to the park on an absolutely gorgeous no school day (it was PACKED!!) and met up with one other adult and three more children. Do you have a mental picture yet?

Two adults. One seven year old. Three five year olds. Two three year olds and an eighteen month old. Four children who decided to adopt my friend and I since their parents were too busy talking on their cell phones and about a dozen children who seemed insistent on giving us heart attacks by climbing up the outside of the twenty foot high climbing structure.

I'm exhausted. My nerves are shot. And I still have to mop my floor and make dinner. Did I mention that Tuck's friend comes back tomorrow?

I'm taking Thursday off.

MomDot and the Christmas of Dreams

A few days ago I told you that I was starting my training for the Christmas of Dreams Blog Party that MomDot is hosting from Novemebre 12-27th right? Well, I still am but I wanted to tell you what happens when the party is over.

On November 28th Trisha and Co. will be pulling a winner of a MASSIVE prize pack worth (and this is just a ballpark until they finalize the prizes) $1000! Can you believe that? Now I know when I post about a prize that big you want to know just exactly what is going to be in it. Check out this list of sponsors for the big Christmas of Dreams.

Sponsors are (and subject to be adding more as the month goes on):
Dyson <---!!!
BabyPop
The Shrunks
Soda Club
Kadi Prescott <---!!!
Uncommonly Cute
Lollipop Book Club
Kuster
Silly Monkeez <---!!!
LA Plates
Natitys Design
Little Black Box
Koshas
Kidz Sunglasses
JAS Creations
Appledonia
LeapFrog <---!!!
Mutsy <---!!!
Kushies
Huddy Buddy
Mimsi-Bags <---!!!
BottleWise
Lets Go Strolling <---!!!
DaBib
Sassy Baby
Baby Legs
Scentsy <---!!!
FeeFiFoto
Randi100
Organic Blankees
Shi Shu Style <---!!!
Georgie Tees

And did you see the part where Trisha said that they could be adding more?!?!? Holy Schnikeys!! A Dyson? A print from Kadi Prescott? Two - count them 2!! - stroller companies? Listen. I don't need all of that. It would be absolutely fabulous though to be able to win a prize pack that big and share it with as many people as possible!

Can you imagine HOW MANY dreams you could make come true? That in and of itself is all the reason I needed to enter! So if you are a blogger you have to SPRINT over to MomDot and enter in this contest. You only have until the 26th so that they can sort through the entries in time for the BIG PULL. Make sure you read all of these directions when you enter. I would hate for anyone to miss out on such a great chance to have a dreamy Christmas!

Mom Tip #54

If you want it done right,…well, you know the rest.

L.M. Lion confessed today. He really cannot clean the kitchen. He tries sometimes and I have to give him credit for that. But he really is not good at it.

The dishwasher ends up loaded inefficiently; the clean silverware ends up a jumbled mess; the counters get a lick (from the dog probably) and a promise (that the Zookeeper will be done folding laundry soon) on the best of days; and the mop asks him for ID if he even looks in its direction. Lion looked at me today with the most pitiful of looks I have seen from him in a while and said, “Please, can you do it? You’re just so much better at it than me. And it will get done faster.” The “faster” is what got to me. The rest of the exhibits were clamoring for food and there was no way they were getting any from the kitchen in its current state.

So L.M. Lion took off to get fuel for his leaf blower so that he could complete a “man” project while I tackled the disaster area before FEMA showed up. By the time he got back from the gas station and got his yard shoes on I had reestablished that counters DID actually exist and had scoured a layer of…something out of a few pots in the sink. Before he was done with the yard the counters and stove top had been cleaned, the floor had been swept and the mop had thanked me for not letting him fall into the hands of that mad man who had been eyeballing him. The small exhibits were enjoying their rations and even the dog had a look of gratitude for clearing a path to his food bowl.

Moms, I know we wish our significant others would help more with the housework. But do we really mean it? Really? Deep down we know that we are going to end up redoing the things they don’t do to our liking and we really don’t want to help in the yard anyway.

I’m just saying. If you want it done right,…well, you know the rest.

Motherhood Means...Strength

Please pardon the nasal sound.

Mom Tip #53

Sometimes the best policy is, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ‘em!”

Well, you are going to be the one to clean it up anyway, right? So why not have some fun while you are at it?

Play dough going wrong for you? Squish! Finger paint getting out of hand (literally)? Smear! Sugar high sending folks ricocheting? Chomp and bounce!

Last night was Halloween and as happens every year the sugar was flowing freely and folks were getting wired. What better way to battle the rush than to get a little sweeter myself! The whole time the Lion was out on procurement, I was home with Marmoset splitting miniature candy bars and popping Sweet Tarts. By the time the Orangutan and Rhino were back, I was INVINCIBLE!! I even managed to bathe children last night!

Sometimes Mom, you have to just stop trying to get the reins back on a runaway stage and just let the horses run it out. There is plenty of time to get back on the trail later – you might as well have a little fun along the way!