Friday, November 7, 2008

A Letter from the Zookeeper

Dear S.M. Rhino,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your recent change of heart in regards to your bathroom habits. I know you and I have had our disagreements over your former habits and that there were times that those disagreements got quite ugly.

However, I want you to know that not only am I incredibly grateful for your change of heart but I am very proud of you for reaching said change on your own. When the Lion informed me that you put your new habit into practice in the middle of the night last night, I was tempted to cry.

I would also like to thank you for your change of heart toward grooming. No longer do I hear wails and experience gnashing of teeth when it is time to get groomed. This has relieved a great deal of stress in my zookeeping. And your timing couldn't have been better as the Marmoset has taken to throwing screeching fits over just about everything if it doesn't go her way.

Now, there is only one barrier to a peaceful exhibit remaining. Could you please look into your motivation for the Orangutan harassment that has been taking place as of late? As you are aware Orangutan has become very emotional as of late and your chronic harassment of her is elevating the stress in my Orangutan tending. During grooming, please refrain from whacking her with whatever you can. And when called for feeding time, it would be tremendously helpful to me if you would just let her come to the feeding area without pushing, shoving and scrapping.

Thank you again for your recent behavior modifications. I look forward to many more improvements as time passes.

Your Zookeeper.