Orangutan Says...

My spare exhibit is here today and he doesn't have the clearest speech I've ever heard. O was talking to him this morning and I followed it up with a question about whether she thought he might want to eat breakfast with her.

"I don't know Mom. I don't speak his language."

Get used to it baby. None of us speak "guy."

Cross Whatever You've Got People!

Today we have the big pull for the PreK lottery at school.

Today we find out if Rhino gets to make me nutty for another year or if he goes to school and makes Mrs. F nutty instead.

See, PreK is not mandatory here in Georgia because they don't have enough classes for the bajillion four year olds in the state. In day cares it's handled on a first come first served basis. In the public schools they have a lottery where they literally draw the names out of a hat.

Last year we were #49 on the registration list and O got pulled. You would have thought I had been given gold - I think I may have actually cried a little. This year the ladies helping with registration told me that there were a lot fewer registering so hopefully this means our chances are even better. Even so, if the people pulling the names just happen to be readers of my blog, "Please I beg you! Pull his name!!"

And it's not because my son makes me crazy. I mean, yeah, sometimes he does. It's more like I want to avail myself of the school's speech therapist. I was the horrible mother who didn't break her child of the pacifier in a timely fashion and now we are up against a very ugly impediment. We almost had to do translation for his vision test the other day because the tech was having a hard time understanding him.

So cross what you've got. We REALLY need this pull to go in our favor. Of course I'll be back after school to let you know how it went. In the meantime I may channel a Chinese contortionist and tangle myself up.

Mom Tip #48

Boys are completely different from girls.

Yeah I know. That is a “Well, Duh!!” moment but I have to explain myself because there are people out there who have not had the pleasure of having both genders in their family. Me, for example. I only have a sister. So I was not prepared for anything that came with raising a boy or living with a boy’s – shall we call them, quirks?

Boys could really care less about the potty. I think we have covered this in great length but it bears repeating. Munch has to “go potty” every time someone sets foot in the direction of the bathroom. Granted, she is not really doing anything when she is in there, but it counts, right? Not The Boy! He could care less. Tuck, go potty. “But I don’t wanna! (screaming, wailing gnashing of teeth)” And then he pees his pants while he is in mid-fit. What is that?

Boys have no concept of fashion and are not in any rush to get one. As long as they have pants and a shirt, all is right in the world. Shoes are optional. Colors are inconsequential. Socks only exist if you already sacrificed a few toes to the weather. He came out of his room is red shorts with blue pinstripes down the side and a lime green shirt with yellow and white surfboards which was of course backwards. His sandals were on the wrong feet and when I asked him to fix his clothes or at least change his shorts into something that might match a little I got, “But I like it like this.” There is no point in arguing.

Boys speak their own language. Tuck had a friend here the other day and they were out on the porch playing while I cleaned the kitchen. They were speaking to one another like they understood but I am at a loss for what they were saying. There were a lot of sound effects (fire engines, horns honking, back up alarms) and a language that I would be hard pressed to find a dictionary for. But they understood each other and played so nicely that I forgot where they were for a few minutes.

I will probably never win the potty fight. That will be something he just makes his mind up about one day. The fashion might have a fighting chance when girls enter the picture. But I do have a shot at the language barrier. I think they were teaching Munch a little the other day. I may actually have a translator in the works. I’ll let you know when she is preparing her dictionary.