Mom Tip #64: Lacking Motivation? Schedule the Cable Guy!

Now maybe this should really go under one of my Mom Tips You can Use but oh well.

I have a spare exhibit this week so not only has my glorious routine been blown to smithereens but my disaster quotient has been exceptionally high. I promise you I can have a room spotless, walk away to blow my nose and come back to worse than it was before I cleaned. It's amazing! They are like those sister twisters in Twister. You know the ones that were flinging the cow around? Yeah. That's Marmoset and her cohort. Holy Flying Cows, Batman!

Yesterday I just gave up. I really said out loud so that the children and Lion could hear, "That's it! I quit. If the tornado warning carries the house away at least I'll have a God sent reason for the disaster!" They looked at me like I was nuts and went about their destruction.

This morning I woke up and scrambled to get Orangutan out for Cuddle Up and Read Day which involved both of us putting on our clean PJ's, gathering up some books and flying out the door. Halfway through my visit to OAT I remembered that the cable guy was going to be at our house between 11 and 2. It was 9. Lion had not left for the hunt yet so I knew the kitchen had exploded, the playroom was a left over nightmare, and the living room was probably in such shambles that the cable guy couldn't even get to the TV.

I zipped home as quickly as possible. Load and run the dishwasher while I speed pack a lunch for Lion. Kick toys into the cubby under the TV while I rip the vacuum around the carpet. Snatch the sheets off the beds because if they are in the washer I have a reason for the beds being unmade, right? Then it was a slide down the stairs and a quick scoop and stash in the playroom. Speed twirl the vacuum around the playroom and back up the stairs to save the kitchen. Unloading and reloading the dishwasher with one hand while I run the mop water and wipe down the counters with the other. Scrape a layer of sludge off the kitchen floor (that I just did yesterday) while herding the Twister Sisters off the wet floor. Go redo the living room where the Twister Sisters have been hanging out.

You know what? I should probably reconnect the cable boxes so that the cable guy can see what the problem was.
Are you )*&@$%^() kidding me?!
The cable is working?

But at least I have the afternoon off right?

Mom Tip #62: Know your Limits.

I can handle three children at a time. There was a period last summer where I was balancing six children at a time but I call that my Loonie Period and really don't remember much of it. At least I came out with both of my ears. I think. Yeah, they're both there.

But I know I can handle three at a time. Yesterday I had a fourth because Orangutan didn't have OAT and my spare exhibit is here this week. Yesterdayday I started to consider my stance on drinking before noon. But I know I can handle three.

Lion asks for extra exhibits from time to time. I tell him no - three is my limit. He begs. He pleads. He talks sweet and he tells me how cute I was when I was preggers and how sweet it is to fall asleep with a baby on your chest. That's when I schedule a day like today.

Yesterday was a day when I intentionally called him half way through the third hour of screaming and running laps around the kitchen, dining room, living room circuit. I made sure I called him when the very large, very loud stray dog was throwing itself at the front door. I made sure I talked to him in the middle of the playroom meltdown. Side note: Gravity is what takes the toys off the shelf and children cannot battle gravity. But that's for another day.

And still he came home and wondered why there was a pile of popcorn still laying in the middle of the foyer hall where the two two year olds had made a "snowstorm" for the two big ones while I was trying to make their dinner, feed the dog, answer the phone, fold laundry, wipe noses, clean the bathrooms, save dinner from burning, bake shortcakes, prep our dinner, talk to Spare's father, trip over the dog, run the vacuum, and snatch myself bald. On one cup of coffee.

Did I mention that a very scary dog kept barking and throwing itself at the front door?

I'm just saying that I know I can handle three. There will not be a #4. I know my limits and yesterday I pushed them.