Dear Fellow Homeowners,

When you are preparing your home for the market (because you probably won't die in the house you're in) you will probably do some painting. Take a moment as you complete each room and label the leftover paint according to the room it belongs to. Please also note the color and store where the paint was purchased and leave it behind. The future homeowners will kiss the ground you walk on.

"Why" you ask? Because when their 4 year old takes a black wide tip Sharpie and creates a mural of blood curdling proportions on two walls they will be able to locate the necessary paint to repair the damage quickly and easily. This will not only spare your homeowner the pain of snatching themselves bald, but may also save the life of the 4 year old in question.

This has been your public service announcement for today. Thank you and happy home ownership!

A Letter from the Marmoset - Clothing Optional!

Dear Zookeeper,


I think we should both call an end to the silliness we have been playing at lately.



There is absolutely no reason for me to have clothes on. I mean, you want me to start using the civilized facilities, right? Pants and undergarments just slow me down. Let's leave those off shall we?



And that whole shirt concept? I'm just going to spill refreshments and dietary supplements on them anyway and I know how you feel about laundry. We'll just say that I'm providing a water conservation opportunity and doing my part for the environment.



Allow me my accessories of hats and shoes and all will be well.

In my next letter I plan to share with you how my use of my appendages as art canvases is actually another move on my part to conserve and be environmentally responsible. You should be proud of your work in teaching me civic responsibility at such a young age!



Your socially conscious exhibit,
Marmoset

The Great Switch-a-Room Day 6: By the Numbers

No vlog today because all I could really show you is a blue and white jail cell. No kidding! With all the tape on the walls to mark out the stripes it really looks like a blue and white cell. I find it funny because this project is feeling like a life sentence right now.

So to pick up my mood a little before I head in "there" for my 14 feet of servitude I thought I would give you the rundown of how this project has been going - by the numbers.

1 - the number of people currently working on the project.

31/2 - the number of rolls of painter's tape that have given their lives.

3 - the number of children who have provided non-stop interruptions.

2 - the number of drinks that have been spilled on the carpet to date (why do I feel like this is not done?)

851 - the number of times I shot myself in the face with the laser level today.

1,704,269 - the number of times I have climbed the ladder or have asked my children to please get off the ladder.

45 - the number of minutes I searched for my pencil after one of said children's interruptions.

1 - the number of laser levels that fell off the wall while I was searching for the pencil.

6 - the number of funky pencils that are in junk drawer

0 - the number of funky pencils in the junk drawer that are sharpened

35 - the number of minutes I searched for a pencil sharpener to sharpen a new pencil since the other one went on strike.

18 - the number of times I passed the bathroom mirror before I noticed that the "missing" pencil was stuck through my pony tail.

436 - the number of times I was able to pound my head against the wall before I passed out.

Did I mention that I'm ready for this project to be done? There is one more wall to tape off and then we launch into sponging mode. How many times to you think I'll lose my sponge? And where will I find it?

I probably don't even want to know!

Mom Tip Monday: Unexpected Projects

Those of you who have been following my Great Switch-a-Room know that I have been confronted full force with an unexpected project. I thought it was only appropriate to share some Dos and Don'ts of unexpected project management.

Don't: Panic. That's what happened to me yesterday. I had my brain set on "moving" and it simply did not happen. Looking back (without the aggravation factor) I should have expected to have to clean the bed frames. I mean, what mom isn't going to clean something before she puts it in her children's room? Duh!

Do: Slow down. Unless you are up against a deadline imposed by someone else, you can be flexible. I wanted it all done YESTERDAY but it wasn't going to happen. I had to back off make a list of the steps that needed to happen before move in and create a plan of attack.

Don't: Lose your temper. It just gave me a stomach and headache and really made everyone's day miserable. And there was no reason. After Lion and I both stepped back and looked at the project ahead of us, we reached a compromise within a 3 minute conversation. Before that we were just standing in the garage shooting daggers at each other.

Do: Tap into your creativity. Even if you don't think you have any, a walk though Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond or JoAnn Fabrics will start the thinking and provide a little inspiration even if it is just in colors. Then prepare to reign yourself in. I have about a million ideas floating around in my head but the reality is that I will only be able to execute on paint, window treatments and art on the wall.

Well, now I am off to prep the furniture for cleaning. The kids have agreed to help so it should be an interesting afternoon after we pick up the Orangutan! By the way, the girls have decided on pink so Mom has her eye on some cute polka dot panels at Bed Bath and Beyond and I'm studying up on sponging techniques. Wish me luck!

Mom Tip Monday: Tired of the Same Old Valentine's?

When my sister and I were growing up my mom would always help us make our own Valentine's to give out every year. Ours were always huge hits because they were personal and they weren't the same four cartoon characters that everyone else was giving out. But even more important than being original was the quality time we got to spend with Mom while we made them.

This past Saturday Mo and I took the day and worked on her Valentine's for school Friday. I can't think of anything we have done together in recent days that has been more fun! My friend Weiner (obviously not her real name!) passed this one on to me from a site she found - http://www.allfreecrafts.com/ Our mice are a little fatter than the ones you'll see there because we used Blow Pops instead of flat sugar pops.

Lollipop Mice

CRAFT MATERIALS:
Red construction paper
Pink construction paper
Scissors
Glue
Marker
Lollipops

Time needed: Under 1 Hour

1. Cut a heart shape from red construction paper (it should measure about five inches at the widest point).

2. Fold the heart in half to form the mouse's body, then glue together the edges from the tip of the nose to the top of the back, but leave the tail end open.

3. For ears, cut out a pair of small pink paper hearts, fold them in half, and then glue them onto the body. Draw on eyes with a colored marker.

4. Lastly, tuck a lollipop into the body, so that the stick becomes the mouse's tail.

Ours took us a little longer than just an hour because Mo was addressing them as we went and we had to allow a little extra time for drying between steps (she likes her glue!). AND we had 21 to make! There are 21 mice on my dining room table! How often can a mom say that without screaming or feeling a strong urge to yack?