Friday, July 31, 2009

Orangutan - The Toothless Wonder!

That day has come. The miraculous first tooth to fall out at Zoo Suburbia. What an event! Ok, so it was two weeks ago while I was still on bloggy vacay but no one said blog fodder had an expiration date.

For starters she was delighted to find out it was loose right before her dental appointment. She made a point to ask Dr. K how loose was it and when could she expect it to fall out. When he assured her that it would be "VERY soon," she began to interrogate Lion and I about Tooth Fairy procedures.

Since this was the Tooth Fairy's first tooth at our house we turned to wiser and more experienced parents around us to find out what the Fairy's going rate was. Thank you Facebook for being a limitless source of wisdom! It seemed that the going rate was one dollar. However, the Zookeeper heard rumblings in other arenas of five, ten and even twenty dollar rewards being given for the first extraction.

This is when the Tooth Fairy's name was changed to Recession Fairy. Responses soon evened out to the dollar. But how could any really GOOD tooth fairy just fold up a one dollar bill and tuck it under a pillow? To my Orangutan, a dollar bill is one step above paper and her sister eats paper so what good is that?

And that's when it dawned on me. At this age, it's not the actual monetary value that counts. It's the quantity! I could slug a bag full of nickels and she would be giddy! I had a plan!

The tooth hung on. And hung on. And waved to me every time she smiled. I begged, pleaded, cajoled and even sterilized my needle nose pliers in hopes of getting in there while she was alseep. Please just pull that thing so it will stop flopping around!! And then one evening she went to Lion and said, "Hey Daddy. Do you think this is ready to come out?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go get me a tissue and I'll check?"
Now why didn't I think of that? But wait, I DID!! Seven times in three days!! But her daddy suggested it soooo...

And then it was done! One little flick and the tooth was out. And promptly dropped on the floor and lost under the couch where the wild things are. I kid you not! All that prep and anticipation and now we didn't even have a tooth to show for it. Fifteen minutes later we found the flashlight with batteries (a whole different post!) just as Lion found the tooth. O was careful to tuck it tenderly in a ziplock bag and make sure it was well sealed. It was the only night all summer I haven't had to argue with her to go to bed.

The alarm went off the next morning and Lion and I rolled over and hit the snooze button. Yawn. Stretch. Mumble something incoherent. Snuggle back into the pillows for nine more minutes. Sit bolt upright in bed and gasp, "We forgot to Tooth Fairy!!"

Thump, bump, bang, bounce. Stub toe on garage door on the way out to the change tray in the van. Speak an unplesant foreign language for a few minutes while I try to unblear my contacts to count out change. Slide through the kitchen to the paper drawer and extract a ziplock bag to drop the change in. Try to open the bedroom door without waking Marmie because she WILL rat me out. Tiptoe across squeaky floorboards and make the switch very carefully. Back out of the room and stash the evidence for posterity (why I have yet to figure out). And wait.

And wait.

Two hours later she woke up. Five minutes later she stopped talking to herself in her bed and remembered that she was supposed to be checking on something. Squeals of glee finally erupted just as Lion pulled out of the driveway to go to work.

Two quarters, three dimes, and four nickels are the going rate for the Tooth Fairy. Apparently though that might have still been too much. She tipped the Marmoset a nickel for being a lookout.

This evening I was sitting here goofing off and she came to me with, "I'm sure of it Mom! This tooth is loose too!"
Marmie, don't count on a tip this time. The Recession Fairy is back.


Fer said...

Three things you can be sure of in my house - #1, I won't keep their teeth. In the trash they go! #2, I will not help pull them out. #3, once Olivia's teeth start falling out, Izzy's going to start beating herself in the mouth to loosen hers up too because she's in denial that she's younger. I'm so not looking forward to the Tooth Fairy =)