I sincerely appreciate the time and effort put into your recent correspondence.
Please take under advisement that the emergency hunger alert system may actually be detrimental to your cause. If you choose to activate the aforementioned "improvement's" to the system, please consider my resignation from my position as Zookeeper to be immediate and permanent. At that point feedings will become the sole responsibility of the large male lion.
As for your concerns about cookie rations, should my resignation be tendered they will no longer exist. Nor will the cookies.
Friday, July 25, 2008