Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mom Tip #20 - A Mother's Revenge.

Revenge is sweet (so keep a journal)!

Imagine if you will that we are fast forwarding 14 years to Tuck’s first date. Imagine that I take that opportunity to recount the following story.

While Tuck was potty training I made it a point to make sure that no matter where we were or what we were doing, if he said he had to go potty I would take him. It seems that his favorite time to tell me this was when we were in the middle of the grocery store. This meant parking the cart, unloading Meghan, grabbing the diaper bag and herding the three children into the handicap stall of the ladies’ restroom where there was room for all four of us.

On one particular trip, the handicapped stall was already occupied by someone else. Tuck made a beeline for the stall only to pull on the handle and find the door locked. So being a boy of two, he decided to check this situation out a little further. He was not content to just look under the door and see feet – no, the Boy had to stick his entire head under the door and yell, “Hey Mom! Dere’s a yady in dere!”

By this point I had him by the waistband of his shorts and was hauling him backward and into the stall next to the handicapped stall. Four people don’t fit in a standard one person stall so I was standing with the door open, Tuck on the potty (still lecturing me about the “yady” who was using “our” potty), Mo standing behind me emptying the diaper bag, and Munch on my hip trying to get down so she could personally study the cleanliness of the restroom.

Then the long suffering female next door coughed.

“Mom!! Mom!! Dat yady BARFED!!!”

Do you know how badly public restrooms echo? We finished our business and started to leave. This time – and only this time! – he decided it was imperative that he wash his hands. I’m sure the “yady” was done with whatever she was doing but took mercy on me and stayed in the stall until we were well clear. I couldn’t help but wonder though every time we passed someone in the aisles from that point on if she was the one.

Back to present now. Can you imagine how satisfying this moment is going to be?! Oh yes, son! Go ahead and embarrass me now but know that I will have my day!