How to Spell Drama!

M-A-R-M-O-S-E-T.

45 minutes and still going strong.  And now she's poked herself in the eye.  Great day in the mornin'!

It started right after lunch.  She and Orangutan were playing dog catcher while Lady and the Tramp played in the background (just so you know it wasn't a TOTALLY random game).  Apparently the Dog Catcher (aka Orangutan) caught the dog (aka Marmie) and proceeded to drag her across the living room floor.  Her dress of course slid right on up over that bare belly and we were presented with the perfect form for righteous rug burn.

Four quarter to half dollar sized rug burns are glowing on her belly right now. Well, they would be if she would let me take off the cool compress.  But we can't move the washcloth and we had to put a Dora band aid on her belly (nowhere close to the burns mind you) but we are still miserable.  So miserable in fact that we have to rub our eyes OUT of our head apparently.

Never mind the fact that a nap is in desperate need right now.  And we missed the movie because we were dealing with the "belly on fire."  So very pitiful.  She even had to call the Grand Keeper (Grammy) and ask her to come to our house to kiss her belly "'cause it weeeelllly huurts!"  It was left as a message of course because Grand Keeper is getting ready for vacation but that will only add to the drama because now the message can be saved and replayed for the Great Silverback who will of course call and moon over his precious little Marmie.

Did we mention that she's headed for Hollywood?

Come on out Camera Man!

I have learned so much about my children this summer. 

Orangutan knows no strangers and has no idea what "family business only" means.  She will talk to anyone about anything all day long.  Whether they want to hear or know it.  Yes, it IS embarrassing.  And if you don't know all about our vacation to PA then you don't live within a 15 mile radius.

Rhino is all boy.  From naked happy dances to non stop eating to just general grossness, he couldn't be more boy if you pumped him full of 'roids.  And no, that's not an invite.  Heaven knows, he's already moody enough.

But the focus of today is Marmoset.  I believe I have shared in the past that the fellows at Lion's old office used to call her "Hollywood" because she never showed up without her shades.  Well, she is definitely headed for "Last Comic Standing." 

She insists that someone go to the bathroom with her every time she has to go.  The whole time she is in there she is making faces and talking in weird voices and telling me stories that would make me roll on the floor if it wasn't the bathroom.  Yesterday she felt the need to inform me that her behind had exploded and she really didn't want it put back together.  "'Cause I like it like this!  And I won't need unders!"

I really looked up to see where the hidden camera was.  I mean someone has to coach a kid to say these things, don't they?  And to say it in a 65 year old smoking bartender's voice at the same time?  I mean really.  Lion had to have signed some reality TV contract behind my back.

I wonder what I will have to do to get voted off the island.

Up Down Side

Since the Orangutan and Rhino have gone back to school, I've had a lot more time to lavish on Marmoset and she is loving life!

It has it's goods and bads. Now she thinks she HAS to be with me 24/7 and has started to meltdown anytime I have to go somewhere without her. It lasts for about 45 seconds but those 45 seconds are stinkin' loud!! I mean hear it in the car at the bottom of the drive way with all doors and windows closed and the radio on loud.

On the good side of the equation is the fact that I laugh. A lot! Take today for example. For a full hour we played "Up Down Side." Very simply put she has to be upside down (so now you get it, right?) and tickled. I can prop her up against the back of the couch, stand her on her head or just hold her by her ankles. She doesn't care - as long as she is "up down side." Her laugh is infectious and as soon as you put her down to catch her breath and get the blood circulating again she is begging for more.

It's awesome to be entertained by things so simple. I guess that's one of the gifts of parenting. May all grown ups revisit the laughter and enjoyment of Up Down Side on a regular basis.

Wordless Wednesday: Has anyone seen the Marmoset?

I had her a minute ago!

For more Wordless Wednesday visit MomDot - and don't forget to vote in the Dotties!

Welcome to the MomDot Blog Party! (And my 100th Post!!)

I am so incredibly thrilled that this is Post 100! What a way to hit it!

So our Theme for Day 1: Intro to Blog Party, Introduce us to your family and share Holiday pics or videos of past years.


Sponsors: Day One Blog Party Question is Brought to you by La Belle Toile and This and That by Randi

VIP BLOGS to visit are Parent Reviewers , Mom Most Traveled, Mommy Zabs, MomStart, HipposToes, Run DMT

So you want to meet the Zoo? Brace yourself!

So first there’s me – I’m Sarah and I’m the Zookeeper (aka Mom!). When I’m not blogging (all 6 hours of the day that that happens!), I really enjoy cooking and baking; playing playdough; sewing and on the occasion that I can hide out on the deck with a book and a coffee – reading. I grew up in rural PA and now live in suburban Atlanta. I am not June Cleaver or Martha Stewart but I try really hard (or so I pretend).

Five minutes ago after children!>





Then you have Beloved, the Large Male Lion, my hubby Stephen. We met at the bank where I was working in 2002, and became pretty good friends. Our first official date was for New Year’s 2003 and in October of the same year we were married. I poke fun at him a lot but I love him with all I am and really don’t know where I would be without him – probably back in PA counting cows for a living.

Which brings us to Molly, Mo or as she is known here at the Zoo the Orangutan. Our firstborn is a bit of a wild thing. She has a very vivid imagination and loves to draw, sing, and make up stories. Mo is a HUGE Scooby Doo fan but has recently taken to singing the Smurfs theme song. What can I say? We like Boomerang!

Tucker. What in the world can I say? He comes by his Small Male Rhino alter ego naturally. Stephen and I can be stubborn but this boy makes us look like waffle makers. If he has made his mind up to do (or not do) something, you had better have large reserves of fruit on hand to make him change his mind. He is a very funny child and for those who can understand his small speech issues he can come out with some really great one liners. To which he would reply, “Aww shucks Ma! It’s nuffin!”

And now for the Pygmy Marmoset also known as Meghan, Munch or Mega Munch. If you took Mo and Tuck and mashed them together you would have Munch. She can throw a fit with the Rhino that makes dogs howl but she will dance and sing with Molly every chance she gets. I gave her the nickname Munch when she was very small because it was next to impossible to keep up with her appetite. Now that she is a full blown toddler I really don’t have to worry about it. If everyone else has left the table she just moves from seat to seat and finishes off the leftovers. Very entertaining to watch!

And finally you have the Security Guard, our Jack Russell, Max. I brought him into this family when he was just a couple of years old and Stephen was kind enough to adopt him. Now you would never know he was ever MY dog. Meghan wakes up in the morning looking for him. Tuck tries to get him to sleep in his bed every night and Daddy-O really doesn’t know how to nap without Max curled up with him. At eight years old he is incredibly tolerant of the ear pulling and belly hugging but every now and then I get that look that says, “Mom! Make them stop!”
And that my friends is The Zoo. It's a busy little place but we call it home. Feel free to stop by anytime! There may even be some cookies in it for you! Happiest of all theHoliday Seasons!

Want to Party like a rock star with the rest of the Mom Dotters? Head over to MomDot and meet the rest of the crew!

Mom Tip #54

Motherhood is gross!

I know I posted a vlog along this line during Motherhood Means (which you may have guessed by now was nixed due to lack of interest). In case you missed it and need a lesson in how NOT to empty a training potty, here you go!

But the point was driven home to me today. I was cleaning the bathroom and had already had to pull one child (Marmoset) and a dog out of the toilet! So you can guess that I was less than thrilled when I turned around to see Marmoset brushing her teeth with the Lion's toothbrush and B-Dog's teeth with MY toothbrush! I am having a hard time expressing just how nauseated I was when I saw this. I of course have disposed of the toothbrush but the heebie jeebies are still stalking me.

I went about my business cleaning the bathroom only to realize that the job "Mom" is, by its very nature, gross. Let me tell you all the gross things I have done in the past week that fall under my job title.

*Cleaning out the fridge. We all know what that is like so I will refrain from going into detail.
*Cleaning the toilets - potty chair included. All I can say for commentary on that is - Men! Of all ages!
*Changing butts. ::sigh::
*Washing the dog. I wash him because he smells. Somehow I always forget that I end up smelling like him every time I wash him.
*Sippy cup hunting. That funky smell in the bedroom is not coming from the laundry basket or the diaper pail.
*Sippy cup washing. Once you find them you have to so something with them.
*Playroom cleaning. Have I ever told you that Cheeze-Its will be the food of the cockroaches after the nuclear holocaust?

If anyone ever asks you why mothers shower at night rather than in the morning, I will give you the easy answer. To wash the crud off! We do not shower in the morning "to wake up" because we are already awake - probably before the rest of the house. We do not shower while everyone else is napping. That's when we get all of our gross stuff done without interruption. We wash up to our elbows before cooking dinner because we know that we are going to get the rest of our bath while we do baths in a little while.

The old hymn says "And they'll know we are Christians by our love." The mom version says, "And they'll know we are mothers by our stench."

A Letter from the Zookeeper

Dear Pygmy Marmoset,



You are an amusing tenant here at Zoo Suburbia, of that there is no doubt. However, we need to address your skills as a contributing member of the Zoo.

I greatly appreciate any assistance that you can offer me in the upkeep of the Zoo. As long as it is actually "assisting."

I have no doubts that you understand that when you wear your daily attire it tends to get soiled. I know that you are aware of this as you have started removing said soiled attire as soon as you deem it unfit to wear. This creates something we call "laundry."

When laundry is soiled it goes in a receptacle known as a "laundry basket." You are familiar with said object and I have seen you use it. Bless you. Could you teach Orangutan and Rhino how it works? Moving on. I, your friendly neighborhood Zookeeper, remove the soiled laundry from the basket and put it in the laundering machine. When it has cycled through, it goes in to the drying machine.

This is the first step in which your assistance becomes detrimental to our process. Removing the lint filter from the drying machine while I am trying to load it is not good timing. Spreading the aforementioned lint all over the wet laundry is simply bad practice. Forcing the lint filter back in to the drying machine backwards will only lead down an ugly path with Large Male Lion. I sincerely advise that you refrain from any of the above going forward.

When the drying machine has completed its cycle we move to the final phase of the process. This is another area I feel that we have a communication problem. Jumping on the folding surface (aka my bed) while I have a precariously stacked pile of towels, never ends well. Unfolding all of Rhino's underwear and putting them on your feet, does not shorten the process. And finally, you WILL eventually grow into Orangutan's clothes - please refrain from unfolding them and trying to put them on.

I appreciate your attempts at assisting me. I sincerely do. Next time though, could you save the helping for putting the laundry in the appropriate exhibits?

All my love and affection,

Your Zookeeper