Lessons Learned at R.A.T.

(Reminder that's Rhino Academic Training.)

Lesson #1. Tighty Whities aren't cool.
If you want to keep the neato baseball and basketball underpants you wore to school on your body, you HAVE to take full advantage of every bathroom opportunity afforded you by your oh, so gracious teacher.

Lesson #2. It's the one with the boy on the door.
If you don't want to be known as the nutball kid in school, you have to use the right bathroom at the afforded bathroom times. It went something like this:

ZK (that's me): So what else did you do today?
R: Wellllll, I used the bathroom at lunch!
ZK: All by yourself?! Good job pal!
R: Yeah, but it was the girls' bathroom by accident.
ZK: Oh NOOOO! What happened?
R: Ummmmm....
ZK: Rhino, were there girls in the bathroom at the time?
R: Yeah. Too many
ZK: Did you leave and go to the boy bathroom?
R: No! I had to go REALLY bad so I just closed the door and went.
ZK: Let's go over this one more time buddy. Mommy can't go in the boys' bathroom so you have to come in the girls bathroom ONLY when you are with me. At school, you have to use the boy bathroom.

R: You shoulda aminded me about that this morning!

Lesson #3. If all else fails, blame Mom!

Happy Mother's Day!!

What? You didn't get a card? So sorry. I didn't get one either but I'll tell you what I DID get. Two children off to school!

Woo Hoo!!

Don't get me wrong. I got a little twinge when my boy went to class and hung up his backpack like a big kid. And I was incredibly proud when my girl found her name tag and sat at her table sweetly.

But let me tell you about walking into my house and hearing......

It brought a tear to my eye. Nothing. Yes, Marmie is still home with me but she was revelling too. She stretched out as big as she could get on the couch while she watched whatever cartoons SHE wanted to watch. Then she just walked in a big circle all around the livingroom. When Lion asked her why, she said it was "because I can." She got to have both beaters and the spoon and the bowl when the cookies were baking. She got to pick a movie and watch it from start to finish. She choose her own lunch. And she got to decide when she wanted to go for a nap.

I am cleaning the house and it's staying clean. I get to work out without anyone hanging off my leg in Warrior 3. I can eat an entire lunch without anyone calling me to break up a fight.

And now you understand why THIS is my Mother's Day! I'm so gleeful I rewrote "Leavin' on a Jet Plane." I won't subject you to my singing but I think you know the tune enough to sing it for yourself and truly appreciate it.

So here's to you my Back to School mom-pals. Enjoy your day!!

"They're Leavin on the School Bus."

All their bags are packed.
They're ready to go.
I will not throw them out the door.
Can't wait to wake them up to say "Good-Bye!"

Now the clothes are pressed.
The shoes are shined.
The alarms are set.
And ready to chime.
Already I'm so giddy I could fly!

So kiss me and smile for me.
Quick say "Cheese!" before I flee.
God bless ya, teach but I really gotta go.

They're leavin' on the school bus.

The quiet's setting in.
Finally the warring's at an end.
The summer has been real fun.
Sorry kids but now it's done.

It's back to school - the truest Mother's Day!

The truest Mother's Day!