Mom Tip #67: Be Grateful for What You Have

It's my first day in two weeks without someone else's child in my house. I mean it! I even had surprise children yesterday. There's nothing like having someone else's children in your house to make you grateful for your own children. In case you missed it you can revisit my experience from last week at Mom Tip #66 (appropriate number, don't you think?).


So here are a few of my child related gratitudes.

I am grateful that Marmoset stopped stripping when she came to her diaper. Especially when I realized its contents. (Scratch that - I changed her and now she's decided to be naked.)

I am grateful that we have no where to be today since Rhino decided to wear Steeler's shorts with a burgundy sweatshirt. (And Marmie is naked. Not good for public outings. Wait, make that a double scratch. Rhino now has on camo pants with his burgundy sweatshirt.)

I am grateful that Orangutan didn't call my bluff this morning when I told her I would "come up there and get you!" Crashing the bunk beds was not on my list of things to do today. (Nor was staring at a naked toddler or a clashing 4 year old.)

I am grateful that my children don't like milk on their cereal sometimes. Clean up is so much easier when it only requires a vacuum. (And a naked Marmoset won't need a bath.)

I am grateful that my dog doesn't care what he eats sometimes. (Did he really just cover his eyes?)

I am extremely grateful for the secret stash of mini chocolate chips in the top of the freezer and the Belevedere on top of the fridge. Oh wait. That has nothing to do with my children. Well, not directly anyway.

The Tale of Two Bunk Beds

Let me begin by saying that Lion and I have never assembled bunk beds. We have never slept in them or really had anything to do with them. And now that you know this you will probably understand that bed assembly turned into a real fiasco.


Step 1 - Bring all the pieces into the room. This went very well without any hiccups or even scuffing a wall.


Step 2 - Prep pieces. Glitch #1 - We were missing two nuts for the bolts that held the bed rails to the headboard. Lion made a run to The Mighty Home Depot. If I may interject a side note? We were in Home Depot every... single...day last week. Did I mention that they owe me stock?


Step 3 - Assembly. It went perfectly! And then we lifted the frames up to put one on top of the other and realized (Glitch #2) that both headboards needed to be on the top bunk in order for one to go on top of the other. We had them assembled as two twins instead of in the bunk bed configuration.


Step 4 - Disassemble and reassemble in proper configuration. Add slats and base board and matresses. Insert Glitch #3. When we went to put the ladder on for the top bunk we realized that we had put the side rail on the wrong level. There was a setting for bunks (upper) and one for twins (lower). We had both on the lower.


Step 5 - Take top bunk back down and completely disassemble and reassemble. Put back on top of top bunk. Double check ladder and side rail and put on base board and mattress. I discovered that I can't be in the top bunk (suspicious creakings) to make the beds and I'm too short to make them from the floor. If you are ever visiting and you need the step ladder, it's in the girls' room.


Step 6 - Bring in the dresser. Move O's clothes into the proper dresser. This got really entertaining because when he saw her stuff moving out, Rhino couldn't help fast enough! I've never seen shoes fly but they sure were yesterday.


The bunk beds took us a full 4 hours. I was so shaky and tired by the time we were done I was ready to declare that I would die in this house before I would ever move. I still may.

The Great Switch-a-Room Day 9: Are we Done Yet?

Can We Talk about Moving for a Minute?

No, the Zoo is not relocating to a suburb near you. I heard that collective sigh of relief! Don't think I won't remember this.

What I am talking about is moving children. We have been stalling on putting Rhino in his own big bed and moving Marmoset out of the crib. We really can't stall anymore because the child can put the side of the crib down and put herself to bed now. It sounds cool but I assure you it is not. That means that sooner than later she will figure out that her arms are long enough to reach down and release the catch thus freeing herself as well.

Now I know putting her in the toddler bed or her own big girl bed is not going to be much different but at least then I can retrain her. So we were investigating bunk beds. Grand Keeper and Silverback were going to get them so that Rhino could have his own bed for his birthday but they are 600 miles away so the logistics were killing us.

Then Lion called me today from work. Ms. M has a set of off white bunk beds with the mattresses, a dresser and a mirror that she will freecycle to us. We'll just owe her one. We can pick them up on Sunday.

Holy Housing Issues Batman! I have to prep two rooms for the grand swap-a-roo in less than 48 hours. Dismantle and stash the crib and rocking chair, sort through a butt load of clothes, find two more sets of bedding and (most importantly) come to grips with the fact that for the first time in 5 years there will not be a baby within our gates.

Do you know what this means? The next time I say, "If you're gonna throw a fit, you can just go sit!" to Marmoset, she'll actually have a place to sit. No more dragging a Rhino out from under his bed in the morning. Orangutan will actually be able to go to bed with someone who sleeps on her same schedule - not an hour and a half behind.

I can finally paint a boy room and a girl room. No more gender neutral. I could just about cry. But instead I think I'm going to go whip up a little cocktail and celebrate the fact that I am one step closer to no more diapers - EVER!

And that's exactly how immaculate their room will stay too.

Ouch! I think I just snorted vodka!