A Letter to Rhino: About your Clothes...

Dear Rhino,

Good morning small, stubborn exhibit. I can see that we are about to have one of "those" days so I thought I would write you a little note instead of (wringing your scrawny neck) getting into a debate with you.

I apologize for not switching the laundry over to the dryer last night. That was an oversight on my part. Had I realized that the sweatshirt that matches those sweats had missed the load capacity cutoff, you may be assured that I would have been more attentive to making sure drying happened in a more timely fashion.

For the record, I really DO appreciate your keen fashion sense and desire to coordinate all your attire. It's wonderful that you are so image conscious and take pride in your appearance. It will get you far in life.

However. If you decide to throw yourself on the floor, kick, scream, wail, pound, bang, screech, and spin in circles like that over a shirt ever again, I assure you that you will spend the rest of your life naked. I'm fine with it. Sure it's 20 degrees outside and there is still some snow on the ground. Of course with the wind chill at 2 that could cause some issues for your exposed skin but it's your choice.

I have told you before but apparently it bears repeating. I do not negotiate with terrorists. Our dryer is fast and as you can tell from the fact that you are now wearing said matching sweatshirt, all things dry in time. Since I see no visible scars from putting on the T-shirt that matches the pants, I am pretty sure you are going to survive to tell your shrink about this one.

Now that we have the clothing issue out of the way, can we please have a better day? Your darling Orangutan shared her barfs with me and I am really not in any kind of mood to deal with your terrorism any more today.

With deepest love and thanks,

The Zookeeper