Mom Tip #33

Like anything taken on a regular basis, you will build up a tolerance to insanity.

I envy the moms who have a “normal” life. Their children get up and have breakfast, play together, have a snack, play with mom or (gasp!) take a nap?...I think you get my point.

I was sitting on the couch this evening just taking a little breather with my favorite friends from Food Network when out of the blue the nudist was on the coffee table. I really believe that he has built a little teleporter under his bed and he just pops in and out of it to freak me out. But yes, he was (as usual these days) naked. I glanced up and proceeded to conduct the regular interview. Why are you naked again? “Because I was tired of those other clothes. They weren’t fun anymore.” Please put your clothes back on.

He put his shirt on – backwards of course; why would we do it the easy way? And then still naked from the waist down, proceeded to try to look at the fire truck on his back. You’ve seen a dog chase his tail right? Have you ever seen a half naked dog chasing his tail on a coffee table?

The worst part? I didn’t even blink; I just went back to watching 4 normal people build Candy Castles.

I was on the phone with my sister later and swiveled my chair around to have a 3 pound bag of apples dropped on my lap. So I take it you guys want an apple for snack? “Well, yeah!” So I handed them out. Not five minutes later the big one is spitting peels in the garbage can beside my desk. I really wish you would just swallow those. “I’m not a peel person, Mom.”

I used to call my folks or my sister every time they did something off the wall, out there, space cadet bizarre. Now I just wait for the weekend and share the “really good ones.”