Mom Tip #28

You don’t really want to know “how?” or “why?”

How did the fully clothed baby end up back in the bathtub?

Why is the dog wearing my bra?

How did you get the monkey wrench and why are you trying to tighten your brother’s head?

I have learned that there are absolutely no circumstances under which you should ask any questions in the bathroom. “How did THAT get THERE?” is one that I avoid at all cost.

Why is the garden shovel in the middle of the living room?

How did the dog dish end up in my bed? And why is it upside down?

How did the baby get on top of the washing machine?

Why are there cornflakes all over the playroom? And how did you get them off the top of the refrigerator?

I stopped asking who did it a long time ago. The only culprits in this house are Mr. Nobody and Ms. Shrug. “What happened?” is entirely too vague and any answer that starts with “Well, see Mom…” can’t go anywhere good.

“What is that smell?” is one that never gets a good answer or one that I want to know anyway.

I know you’ve heard it before but it rings particularly true for mothers. Ignorance is bliss!