Mom Tip #42

Naps are wonderful but time them with care!

Here at Zoo Suburbia things tend to hit critical mass from time to time. Our options when this happens are to either tolerate the incomprehensible screaming and wailing and gnash our own teeth or put some people in crash mode (full blown nap).

Yesterday we picked Mo up from school, ran by the grocery store and headed for home. I thought all was well until The Boy hit the door between the garage and the house. I don’t know what happened or who started it but it was ugly. There was serious screaming from Tuck and Munch and to this moment I have no idea what it was all about. Off to bed. Now here’s the problem. Critical mass didn’t hit until 4. With Munch that’s no big deal; she can take a nap at 4 and still go down for bed at the normal time. She plays pretty hard.

Tuck? Not so much! He went down for his nap and try as I might there was no waking him before 5. The rest of the evening was delightful with minimal fighting but then it was time to go to bed. Talking, talking, books, more talking. There was no end in sight. At 9:30 he came to tell me that Mo hit him. Could that be because she wanted to sleep and you were in her face? “Well, yeah.” Come help me pack lunches.

He talked me through packing lunches. Let’s go brush teeth and get Mom ready for bed. He talked me through that including a discussion on why Mommy has to take her “no baby medicine.” “Yeah we don’t want another Meghan!” Let’s go make the coffee. He talked me through that. Do you need to go potty? This is where I learned that when “the peeps” don’t want to come out it means they aren’t home. They went to the grocery store. I was exhausted so I asked. What do peeps buy at the grocery store? “Food, you silly goose!” What do peeps eat? (I was REALLY tired) “More peeps!” Please son! Can we go to bed?

So I let him snuggle with me in my bed but no snuggles were to be had until we sang The Little Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly. Then I tried to “pretend” I was asleep to encourage him to do the same. Next thing I knew there were toes up my nose. “Smell my feet Mom!” I don’t know what time he finally fell asleep. He was still talking about feet and peeps and coffee when I lost it for the night.

I do know that the peeps got back from the grocery store somewhere around 2:30 this morning. It happened on Daddy’s side of the bed which I heard about pretty promptly but since it wasn’t my side I made a mental note to just sleep really still.

Go ahead. Get those naps in – just make sure you time them early enough in the day. Or take a nap with them!

A letter to the Zoo

Dear Zoo,

I would like to take a moment to address a small issue. There are some big changes coming our way and if yesterday was any indication, these changes will not go smoothly.

Large Male Lion, if you continue to insist that your hunting is more important than my zoo keeping you may find yourself as hunter and zookeeper. Please understand that this would mean all cleaning, feeding and grooming would become your responsibility on top of your already demanding hunting. May I suggest that you stick to your hunting and at least offer to help with the zoo keeping to prevent my resignation.

To my Orangutan. I understand that you are delighted about your upcoming tour. Please keep your celebratory climbing and other antics to a low din. Your recent burst of enthusiasm has created quite a stir with Rhino and Marmoset and has led to very loud and precarious situations in which exhibits are damaged.

::sigh:: S.M. Rhino. There are so many issues that I would like to cover with you but perhaps I should address the most detrimental behaviors. It would be a tremendous help to me if you would refrain from any more public exhibitionism. Marmoset has started to follow your lead and she is very challenging to re groom. She has also taken up your hobby of streaking which is really just embarrassing to all the residents.

I would also like to request that you curtail your very vocal demands for refreshments. The high pitched squeals and loud roars (especially when in a confined space) are beginning to cause your zookeeper physical pain which we all agree never leads to a happy zoo.

And finally Marmoset. The zoo has operating hours for a reason. When the zoo is closed it allows me (your zookeeper) to rest and prepare for our next day. Your recent desire to open the zoo around the clock is simply not feasible. I should also point out that you are the ONLY resident who would like to be open 24 hours. Even your security guard gets testy when the zoo is not closed for an adequate period.

I sincerely hope that all of you will take my suggestions and directives to heart. It is not my desire to resign from the zoo. However, if we have another day like yesterday I will be left with no choice but to take a leave of absence until further notice.

Thank you and have a lovely weekend!
The Zookeeper

The Zookeeper's Response

Dear Marmoset,

I have given serious consideration to your predicament. I feel I should tell you that you will be observing a change in Orangutan and S.M. Rhino's exhibit hours in the immediate future.

You see, Orangutan is about to begin a tour unlike any our zoo has seen before. She will be leaving the zoo very early each morning to attend Orangutan academic training. It is quite possible that she will be leaving on tour before your exhibit opens each day. Therefore it will be necessary for her exhibit to close earlier than it has been. Due to the proximity of S.M. Rhino's exhibit to Orangutan's, his exhibit will be closing earlier by default.

This will possibly have a positive and negative impact on you personally. The negative will be that you will find your socialization time with Orangutan significantly shortened. The positive effect will be that you will find exhibit hours to be more fairly enforced. You will also be afforded more socialization time with Rhino and myself.

In regards to the additional "dessert" rations, I believe we can come to an agreement on this matter since dessert time will be moved up in the schedule allowing you to be included.

I appreciate your candor and understanding as the above adjustments are made.

Sincerely,
The Zookeeper

A Note from the Zoo

{Specifically the Pygmy Marmoset}

Dear Zookeeper,

Some very disturbing information has recently come to my attention. In speaking with Orangutan and S.M. Rhino, I have learned that mine is the only exhibit that is shut down to visitors at 8 PM. I currently have the understanding that not only are Orangutan and Rhino's exhibits open much later than mine, but they are also given additional rations after my exhibit is closed.

I find this to be completely unacceptable. Please be aware that you may continue to close my exhibit early. However, I am very capable of using my high pitched squeal for purposes other than the EHAS (Emergency Hunger Alert System) and it has been known to rouse not only Orangutan and S.M. Rhino but the security dog as well. If you prefer to deal with 3 cranky exhibits and a security system on high alert, by all means continue your discriminatory practices. Should you choose a more peaceful resolution, you will extend my exhibit hours and provide me with this "dessert" that O and S.M have been issued.

I am confident that we can come to a mutually acceptable solution. Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
P. Marmoset