The Tale of Two Bunk Beds

Let me begin by saying that Lion and I have never assembled bunk beds. We have never slept in them or really had anything to do with them. And now that you know this you will probably understand that bed assembly turned into a real fiasco.


Step 1 - Bring all the pieces into the room. This went very well without any hiccups or even scuffing a wall.


Step 2 - Prep pieces. Glitch #1 - We were missing two nuts for the bolts that held the bed rails to the headboard. Lion made a run to The Mighty Home Depot. If I may interject a side note? We were in Home Depot every... single...day last week. Did I mention that they owe me stock?


Step 3 - Assembly. It went perfectly! And then we lifted the frames up to put one on top of the other and realized (Glitch #2) that both headboards needed to be on the top bunk in order for one to go on top of the other. We had them assembled as two twins instead of in the bunk bed configuration.


Step 4 - Disassemble and reassemble in proper configuration. Add slats and base board and matresses. Insert Glitch #3. When we went to put the ladder on for the top bunk we realized that we had put the side rail on the wrong level. There was a setting for bunks (upper) and one for twins (lower). We had both on the lower.


Step 5 - Take top bunk back down and completely disassemble and reassemble. Put back on top of top bunk. Double check ladder and side rail and put on base board and mattress. I discovered that I can't be in the top bunk (suspicious creakings) to make the beds and I'm too short to make them from the floor. If you are ever visiting and you need the step ladder, it's in the girls' room.


Step 6 - Bring in the dresser. Move O's clothes into the proper dresser. This got really entertaining because when he saw her stuff moving out, Rhino couldn't help fast enough! I've never seen shoes fly but they sure were yesterday.


The bunk beds took us a full 4 hours. I was so shaky and tired by the time we were done I was ready to declare that I would die in this house before I would ever move. I still may.

Mom Tip #57

Take a lesson from yourself.

Oh yeah! Let's get ugly about this Mom Tip thing shall we? For review here are a few things that I have said to my children in the last 48 hours.

*Please come into the same room as me if you want to talk.

How many times have I tried to talk to them or to my husband and I'm in a completely different part of the house doing about 17 noise creating tasks? Of course they aren't going to hear me or even try to listen for that matter.

*A fit will get you absolutely nowhere.
*You can scream all you want but all that does is turn my ears off.

I'm blushing and cowering in shame right now as I approach the second statement on our list. I throw fits all the time. To them. To LM Lion. I rant and I yell and I expect it to serve some purpose. That of course links up nicely with number three. I'm pretty sure as soon as I start to raise my voice my children's ears disengage. Just like mine do when LM Lion and I get heated.

*Your brother is three feet away - why are you yelling?

I do this all the time! Now in my defense it's usually beacause I don't realize that someone has snuck up behind me or because my ears are stopped up from yet another sinus infection. But just the same. I had a serious reality check the other day when the Rhino looked at me and said, "Geez Mom! I'm right here! And I CAN hear you!" Can't imagine where he heard that before.

*The longer you sit there the longer it is going to take to get anything done.

Now, the sitting part isn't my problem. It's the walking in circles that gets me. I can walk from one room to the next for hours and never get a blessed thing done. How many times this very morning have I walked into the bathroom to get a tissue? And I still haven't taken the 3 minutes it takes to clean the toilet and sink.

*You don't work with the TV on so I'm turning it off.

I can sit and stare at this mammoth basket of laundry that needs to be folded but sitting here staring at it isn't going to fold it. And the TV. I can work with the TV on but this blasted computer and I have to come to an agreement. Stop calling my name! Stop suckering me in with, "but someone famous may have just commented on your brilliant take on housekeeping!"

*A spoonful of vegetables hasn't killed you in the last 5 years. I doubt it will start now.

And a spoonful of veggies has never killed anyone. And neither has a glass of water. Or a nice fresh apple. Or a break from whatever that business is that keeps me from eating on a regular basis.

Kinda hurts, yes?

I'm just saying. Maybe I should pretend I'm my own mother for a day. But then what would she do?