The Epilogue

**Because I've always wanted to write one. New to the saga? Catch up!

Horsefeathers (Part 1)
The Drip (Part 2)
The European Faucet (Part 3)


Now many of you are probably wondering what my plumbing adventure has to do with our theme here at The Zoo. It didn't involve my children. It didn't involve a letter of any kind. Well here it is.


Mom Tip #68: Regardless of gender, teach your child basic mechanics.

Girls or boys all need to know basic mechanics. How to change a tire. How to check their oil. How to change a filter in a HVAC unit. Definitely the importance of water shut off valves and breaker boxes.


Imagine, fathers in my midst, that you are able to send your daughter out into the world without worrying that she will be "taken" by some shady plumber or electrician. Imagine the pride mothers, of knowing that your son was able to help the young lady down the hall with a faulty electrical outlet thus saving her from the tragedy of flat hair.


Silverback called Monday night to see how my plumbing had turned out. He is not one to whoop and holler over our accomplishments. After all he taught us what to do. We should be able to just do it - nothing out of the ordinary. But I think I heard just a tinge of pride in his voice when I announced that the problem had been resolved and he would be able to review my handiwork when he comes to visit at Thanksgiving.


I wonder if I can replace the tank on the toilet before he gets here. I'll probably need some tools...

Horsefeathers! A Father's Legacy

My father (The Great Silverback) would be distraught to think that "Horsefeathers!" is his legacy to me but it is so much more than just "Horsefeathers!"

If The Grand Keeper gifted my sister and I with "The Mother's Curse" then The Great Silverback gifted us with "Horsefeathers!" and the ability to use it well. What is "Horsefeathers!" you ask?

Silverback is the handiest of handy men. He can sharpen the mower blades; change the alternator in a tractor; re plumb a bathroom; pull wire to a whole new floor; and tune up the bushings on Grand Keeper's over lock (sewing) machine all in one day. Ok, well the wiring may take a couple days but you get my point. He is the handiest of handy men.

His gift to my sister and I was to let us observe him doing all of the above and more on more than one occasion. We know the difference between a box wrench and crescent wrench. We can pick a ball hammer out of a line up. And we never forget to turn off the water or breaker when doing the appropriate home repair or maintenance.

If you have ever done or been involved in home maintenance, then you are probably aware that inevitably in every do it yourself project there comes a moment when you want to flip out, lose it, or cuss like a sailor. The handiest of men was not immune to these moments. A nail would fall between the 1/4 inch gap into the abyss. A piece of plywood wouldn't stay square to where it was going to end up. The wrench slipped off the nut at maximum torque and projected his knuckles into the immovable force removing several layers of flesh upon contact.

It was at these moments that my sister and I were gifted with "Horsefeathers!" Silverback was very mindful of his influence in our lives and the last thing he wanted to do was introduce us to the art of colorful phraseology. The Grand Keeper, in her infinite wisdom, learned that "Horsefeathers!" was a good indicator that our observation time was up and that we should probably leave the area.

Over time we learned to laugh about Horsefeathers and even considered adding it to our lexicon of DIY vocabulary. But were we worthy? Had we survived enough skinned knuckles to warrant a Horsefeathers moment?

Only time would tell. (aka To Be Continued...)

"Uh Oh" Has a Whole New Meaning.

For the first time since my 2 Coronas at last week's Super Bowl I made myself a little cocktail last night. I think I nursed the thing for a total of 5 hours so that just shows you what a drinker I am! L.M. Lion though likes to be funny so he strolled into the kitchen and said "Uh, Oh! Mommy's drinking again!"

Guess what Marmoset says now every time someone says "uh oh."

Mommy's Dinkin!

It's going to be an interesting morning at church THIS Sunday!