Rhino's Piece of the Curse

If Orangutan got the verbal diarrhea as her part of the curse, then Rhino got his fair helping of the stubborness and sneaky. (Although he got a scoop of the verbal and she got a scoop of the sneaky too.)

I think this boy is on a mission to either force me to send him to military school or just break me so that he can watch me sit in a corner and rock. Last night I was so exasperated with him that I actually said to my husband, "I have had it! He is yours."

So what exactly is he doing? Nothing in particular and everything in general. He will randomly walk up to one of his sisters and thump them on the head for no particular reason. Not hard enough to hurt them but just enough to aggravate them and get the whining started. He will almost immediately follow that up with messing with the TV in one form or fashion. Again, nothing malicious but enough to escalate the whining to a new octave and decible level. If he's really in a mood, he'll start messing with their stuff; snatching a blanket here, knocking over dominoes there, or (my personal favorite) just flopping down on top of someone like there is absolutely no where else in the house for him to plant his carcass.

And his ears don't work when he's in one of these moods. They simply do not work. Rhino get off of her. Off! Off I said! Are you broken?!

Son, would you please just move away? Further. Two inches is no better than 2 centimeters. Two feet would be even better. To which I usually get, "But Mom! I'm not allowed to use your tape measure!"

And if he has done something wrong, you might as well chop his ears off and pack the holes with concrete. He simply will not respond.

He's stubborn!

And emotional. I have never in my life seen a child fall to pieces over nothing like this one can. His golf clubs are in the back of Lion's car at the dealership. He fell into a melty heap on the stairs last night because Lion couldn't produce them on the spot. It didn't matter that we all made promises that the golf clubs would come home today. It didn't matter that Lion tried to bribe him with the promise of brand new big boy golf clubs. He wanted (sniff, sniff) his (gasping for air) golf clubs (sobbing and wailing) NOOOOOOOOOOWWW!

I think this is when I threw up my hands and packed my face with chicken wings. I'm pretty sure I was a bit melodramatic growing up. I know I was stubborn. It was a genetic thing; my grandfather was famous in our community for it; our father had his moments of fortitude; I had a tradition to carry on. Rhino, I'm letting you off the hook. Be as complacent as you want (within reason, I guess. I'd hate for you to end up in juvy). Be kind. Be mellow.

Because if you don't I'm about one meltdown away from "Someday...."

Free to a Good Home

One boy.

Gently used.

Very good with younger children and animals.
Enjoys trains, trucks, and dirt.

Merely needs room to run, perpetual feeding and an owner with no sense of smell as his idea of good hygiene is limited to wiping his hands in his hair.

Will consider a trade for a large lazy dog.

This, my dear Rhino, is the ad that will run in Sunday's paper if you put me through another day like today.

Mom NEEDS a Tip!

I know! I'm usually the one dolling them out but this time I need your help!

How do you stop your child from being a bully? I know! Mine are only five, three, and 20 months. How in the world am I facing bullying? I don't know but I know I want to stop it IMMEDIATELY!!

Here's the deal. The Rhino feels the need to rule the roost and he will do it anyway he can. He loves to just get in someone's (anyone will do!) face and just push every possible button until Mom is tweaked. He is especially effective at getting the Orangutan going. And even more effective if he is in the livestock trailer where she has no escape and I can't reach him.

I should probably define what he is doing too. He loves to use his "pinchies" (full hand pinch - much like a claw) to grab things and then when you aren't expecting it suddenly he pinches your arm. Or he'll suddenly just reach out and snargle your hair into a huge mess getting his fingers tangled in the process so that when you tell him to let go he has no choice but to pull. Oh, and my favorite. He plants his head in the middle of your chest or belly and he just "bulldogs" you away from wherever you are or whatever you are doing/playing with.

I have given the Orangutan permission to bully back if we are in the trailer and he starts this nonsense but I would rather break him of it all together. He heads to school in the fall and if I don't get rid of it by summer I'm in for a rough start to our school experience.

So tell me - how do you handle it when YOUR child is the bully?