Friday, July 30, 2010

And The Z.I.T. Presses On.

If you are new to the Zoo, let me explain Z.I.T.  Zookeeper In Training.  That would be my beloved sister.  Her Zoo consists of a boxer, a cat, and a drill sergeant.  Yeah, it's definitely a mobile Zoo.

I was scrolling along checking out my Facebook pals when I came across her status posting. "For the record...spray olive oil will remove fly paper glue from a cat."

It was all I could do not to pick up the phone and speed dial immediately!  I mean seriously!  That had to be the most awesome story EVER!!  Especially if you know the cat in question.  She's the ultimate cat.  I mean attitude and all and her name is Cleopatra (or Fatra as I like to call her).  The suspense was killing me.

Then I got the phone call that explained it all and I cried in hysteria before I was able to choke out, "You have to write this down so I can blog it!"  My sister is so sweetly accommodating.  The following is her account (in italics) and of course, my commentary.

So it started off like a normal day. (Like those EVER happen!) The alarm goes off at 5:30am; mommy stumbles out of bed; lets Baxter (also known as Eating Machine) outside to do his potty thing; and down the steps we go to feed Cleo. I open up the can of cat food, and dump breakfast into the bowl.  The kitty is happy so mom goes to let the boy back in for his breakfast. Normal start....then it all goes wonky.

There is a strange sound followed by a cat like screech, and here comes Cleo streaking out into the laundry room with a fly strip zig zagged down her back and up her tail. (People, this cat doesn't "streak" anywhere - she might roll quickly but "streaking" is not her normal MO.) There is nothing else to do but remove the extra sticky fly covered mess from her back. So I pull, and tug and come away with a fly strip and half a cat worth of hair (anybody else picturing a backwards mohawk?)  but I leave behind a sticky hairy mess (a backwards mohawk with spiked edges?!).  So I grab a washcloth and a bar of soap -  Irish spring to be precise (top o the marnin' Cleo!) - and try to clean the sticky off the cat. Cleo at this point is quite happy to go back to eating breakfast (did I mention I call her Fatra?). I however am concerned about the sticky poison laced glue that is still matting her fur and that Cleo will try to lick off later.

The soapy wash cloth did not do the trick. After breakfast is finished and Cleo reappears upstairs, we try the brush to remove the sticky (because a glue wadded cat brush is just what every house needs!). While this method removes a good bit of the loose hair that the original removal of the fly strip didn't accomplish (tidied up the mohawk), it does not get rid of the dreaded "sticky." We snag another wash cloth, and a different soap - dish washing soap this time (I'm sure this was a Joy.  Get it?) -  and now the cat is damp, soapy, AND sticky (But she smells great!). There is nothing I can do for it;  I have to get to work, and the cat will have to stay sticky until I get home. Hopefully the two different soaps will at least rid the glue of most of its poisonous quality (and what cat wants to lick glue AND soap off her fur?).

After a tedious day I get home and the cat is still sticky. While making dinner I discuss the problem with the hubster. Thinking out loud, I suggest that since peanut butter is used to get gum out of hair, perhaps it would work to remove fly strip glue from a cat (Peanut butter hairball anyone?).  Hubster thinks it would be a bad idea because it would leave the cat messy and greasy(and that's any worse than soapy and sticky how, exactly?!) .  I remember that the dog loves peanut butter better than steak (loves it?  He's obsessed with it!  Ate a whole jar if I remember correctly!), and realize that having a peanut butter flavored cat running around the house is probably not a good idea (but they would both get their exercise!).

Enough pondering.  Time to solve the problem. I turn to the all powerful GOOGLE. After a quick search, I run across a post from a gentleman asking how to remove fly paper glue from his wife's hair. They had also unsuccessfully tried the same soapy remedies that I had, but there were many posts that suggested oily substances like baby oil, or mineral oil to remove the glue. Brainstorm! I have spray olive oil in the kitchen. Non-toxic and it just might get the sticky off the cat (how that doesn't attract the dog too I'll never know.  Olive oil - steak?).

A few sprays is all she will tolerate after a day full of indignities (ya think?!), and she goes hiding behind the couch. When she reappears, we try a quick couple passes with the brush (good thing it didn't work the first time!) and we have an oily, but not sticky, cat.  I think that she is trying to pass it off as hot oil treatment.

The moral of the story....spray olive oil removes fly paper glue from a cat.

No my darling sister.  The moral of the story is that, Google is a mom's best friend when dealing with child induced disasters.  Oh and humor tolerates a multitude of disasters.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Come on out Camera Man!

I have learned so much about my children this summer. 

Orangutan knows no strangers and has no idea what "family business only" means.  She will talk to anyone about anything all day long.  Whether they want to hear or know it.  Yes, it IS embarrassing.  And if you don't know all about our vacation to PA then you don't live within a 15 mile radius.

Rhino is all boy.  From naked happy dances to non stop eating to just general grossness, he couldn't be more boy if you pumped him full of 'roids.  And no, that's not an invite.  Heaven knows, he's already moody enough.

But the focus of today is Marmoset.  I believe I have shared in the past that the fellows at Lion's old office used to call her "Hollywood" because she never showed up without her shades.  Well, she is definitely headed for "Last Comic Standing." 

She insists that someone go to the bathroom with her every time she has to go.  The whole time she is in there she is making faces and talking in weird voices and telling me stories that would make me roll on the floor if it wasn't the bathroom.  Yesterday she felt the need to inform me that her behind had exploded and she really didn't want it put back together.  "'Cause I like it like this!  And I won't need unders!"

I really looked up to see where the hidden camera was.  I mean someone has to coach a kid to say these things, don't they?  And to say it in a 65 year old smoking bartender's voice at the same time?  I mean really.  Lion had to have signed some reality TV contract behind my back.

I wonder what I will have to do to get voted off the island.