Friday, September 18, 2009

Monday I'm Driving a Bulldozer.

I mean it. I am going out this weekend and buying a small bulldozer (they make those, right?) and I am driving it through carpool on Monday.

It's not rocket science people! You put your number in your front window. You show it to the teacher calling the children out. They come out and get in the car. You pull away. People pull up behind you and repeat the process.

Your child can't buckle their own seat belt? Pull out of the way by the dumpsters so people can go around you.

Your child has lead in their butt and won't sit in their seat so you can move the car? Well, I put that on you. You need to encourage a sense of urgency in your child.

I don't understand. It's a pretty simple system but every day I end up sitting several minutes while someone farts around. The child doesn't come out when they are called. The parent insists on making sure the child is secured before even driving 10 feet out of the way. I think some of these people insist on hearing the full details of their child's day before they will put the car in gear.

So that's it. I'm getting my bulldozer and everyone has 20 seconds to get their child in and seated before I move them. I get two in and seated in that time and I know most of these folks only have one - I look for that stuff - so they are getting extra time. And if your child doesn't come out the first time they are called, you go to the end of the line. Maybe both of you will learn a lesson.

Maybe I won't BUY the bulldozer. I think a week long rental should be just long enough for people to get the hang of it. If I rent I won't get that depreciation hit when I trade it in for my Batmobile.


Jennifer said...

I admit to having to buckle Olivia up before we move, but it's rare for anyone to be behind me. I don't know if I'm usually later than the rush or if I'm just lucky every day, but after the first two weeks, pickup has been a peice of cake. However, I have made sure she gets in and gets seated so that I can buckle her quickly and we can get out of the way.

Anonymous said...

I'm in, you can have it to me for my turn the next week, right?

Amanda said...

Why not try to rent a Bradley instead? I'll bet they'd move faster than a bulldozer. Or a Humvee with a 50cal mounted on top. LOL This is why I'm so thankful for the bus. I don't have to sit in the drop off or pick up line very often.

Oh, and what's with the drop off line? Why does it take them just as long to get out as it does to get in at pick up? Shouldn't it be faster? The kid should be ready to just hop out when the parent pulls up.

Mommy Cracked said...

Cracking up! This is exactly what I go through everyday in my son's carpool line! Can I borrow that bulldozer when you're finished?

Ragmansdaughter said...

Watching the weather, why don't you consider a battleship instead?