Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Help.


There I said it. I asked for help. Not that it will do anything but I did it. Mainly because I just need to have a "mom needs help" moment.

I should have known first thing this morning. I woke up feeling like dog poo run over and topped in hot garbage juice but I told myself a pot or two of coffee would make it all better.

And then everyone dawdled. I don't have patience for dawdling. I want people to move when I tell them to, if not on the first try, at least on the second. If I have to tell you more than three times to stop talking and start brushing your teeth, I will lose my cool. Want to venture a little guess on how many times I had to ask? On #6 the toothpaste had still not been disturbed on the toothbrush that had been loaded for a good 10 minutes. Not a good way to start a dog poo garbage juice day.

The high point of my day was Marmie giving me my medical exam.
"Open yo mouf Mom! Now open yo eyes. You sick Momma. Close yo eyes. I listen you. You heart say 'boing boing'. You sick. You eat cackers now."

Two year olds don't understand that saltines are not a miracle pill. So I ate crackers. Then she tucked me in and sat on top of me to make sure I napped. Such a helpful child.

I had enough meds and saltines pumping through my system to make it through car rider without committing homicide but then I was faced with O's homework. And it is at this point that I am faced with the worst part of my day. I understand homework. I'm glad my children have it. I want my child to do well and I need to reinforce what she is learning in school.

The problem for me is that my child is showing signs of intense dyslexia. She is in an early intervention program at school where she gets intensive instruction but she still has to keep up with everyone else. That means that my kindergarten child takes an hour to do what most kids do in 20 minutes. I have to be there with her while she does it. I have to help her correct mistakes and repeat myself a dozen times for every letter that is formed backwards.

I don't like to repeat myself.

I didn't struggle with school. I don't get it that my daughter who is imaginative and creative and artistic can't form her letters in the right direction. It does not compute for me. Big Mom Fail - even though I know it's not my fault. But I can't "fix" it so I feel like Mom Fail.

And what in the world possessed me to go to the playroom (aka disaster central) today? The DC should be avoided at all costs on Dog Poo Garbage Juice days. It made me cry! No really. Made. Me. Cry.

My kitchen floor needs to be mopped. The bathrooms are crying out to be saved from themselves. Dinner time is fast approaching and we still have one more homework assignment to get caught up on (after the flood day).

It's one of those days when I just want to scream "HELP!!" at the top of my lungs. But I don't. Because I'm a mom and Mom's should be able to tough it out. Mom's should be able to roll with this kind of stuff and persevere. We shouldn't need help. I have actually told Lion several times today that I'm fine. I'll be ok. I'll just take some more meds and keep going. Why? Why is it so hard for moms to admit that we aren't armor all people and that we need help?

I know this isn't the fun and fluffy that I usually put up but I need to know that other moms are the same as me. Tell me about your most recent Dog Poo and Garbage Juice day. Let me know that I'm normal.
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3 comments:

Jennifer said...

I, thankfully, don't get sick very often, but I have my days when I walk in the door from work and seriously consider just turning around and walking back out of the door. When I realize that I will be spending my evening scraping oatmeal off of the wall, scrubbing crayon off the other walls, sweeping up cereal, doing laundry, dishes, fixing dinner, tomorrow's lunch, fighting for HOURS with the girls to go to bed... all by myself... I want to scream. And cry.

You are not alone. Feel better soon.

Amanda said...

I hope today is better for you.

We too have had the 20 min assignment that takes an hour or more every.single.day. Not because my son couldn't do it, but because he has oppositional defiant disorder which makes him more of a pain in the butt than most kids. Repeating more than twice is VERY frustrating on the Mom scale no matter the cause.

Staci said...

I hope you're feeling better!

I'm surprised your kindergartner is getting homework! We haven't had any yet, which is good because by 4 o'clock, my son is so exhausted from being at school.

We had one of those days today...didn't feel good, had to go to work, customer flipped on me, went outside to bawl. Came home and just crashed.

Hope tomorrow's better for us both!