Friday, May 22, 2009

Apparently I'm a Butt Mom.

Lie to me if you must moms in the reading audience, but tell me that you are a Butt Mom too.

It has to happen outside of my house. If it doesn't; if my house is the only place on the planet that is home to the Butt Mom then I am renegotiating my stance on dying in the basement and being buried in the front yard.

Please go put these shoes in your closet.
But Mom! I have to finish this puzzle! (Which I am then going to leave strewn in a million places all over so you have to pick it out of the vacuum cleaner for the next 3 weeks.)

Please go put your laundry away.
But Mom! I don't know where it goes.
(But if I ask you to get dressed you can assemble an outfit in 2.7 seconds. It may clash but you can change it 3 more times during the day - for absolutely no reason!!)

Please clean up the playroom.
But Mom! I'm soooo tired! (It's 8 AM and you just had syrup with pancakes - not a typo people.)

Dear Exhibits,
If I was a Butt Mom you would be the funniest looking kids in Kindergarten. I (am going to pull out one of Bill Cosby's lines) brought you into this world; I can take you out!!

And I wish I could say it was just the Exhibits that had this problem. Apparently I'm Butt Honey too!

Please stop and pick up some milk on the way home.
But Honey! I've had a really long day and I just want to come home. Can't you get it in the morning?

Please help me get the kids into bed.
But Honey! I just ate and I want to sit here and just relax or a minute.

Please put your stuff in the laundry basket.
But Honey! Then I have to look at what I'm doing.

Dear Zoo Supporters,
Don't think to hard about Butt Honey. You'll never look at a bee the same way again.

All my love!


Oh Boy...Oh Boy...Oh Boy said...

i think we should have butt kids.

Mom, I need my blue shirt for today.
But {child's name} I really needed to post to my blog and I couldn't get it washed.

Mom, I'm starving, can you make me something to eat?
But {child's name} I actually hate to cook so you're on your own from now on.


Fer said...

I don't get a lot of Butt Mommas. They just cut straight to the chase about their inability to open their eyes to see the shoe laying on top of the pile in the closet. I'm sure they're coming though...

Amanda said...

Yep, same thing happens in my house too.

Staci said...

But I don't wanna! I hear it all. day. long. So yeah, I completely get it too!