Monday, April 6, 2009

Tuesday Tribute: Mother's Little Helper


Jay and Deb are going to kick me out of Tribute if I keep picking such abstract and really quite bizzarre tributes. But I can't pass this up.

It's spring break week here and like all mothers I am losing my sanity bit by screechy little bit. I love my children. I do. They make me rely on "helpers" sometimes though and in an effort to be "real" I am opening the blinds into my helper life. I'll post these according to insanity levels.

Minor insanity is controlled by One Eyed Monster and his pal Don Vito Douglas Player. They kick into action when certain maintenance activities need to be completed to keep the house from caving in on itself. Quietly they entertain the masses by broadcasting favorite cartoons movies and other diversions. Admit it - they're your little helper too.

Growing insanity calls for Player Do. And while I fully understand that PD can contribute to the insanity by being crumbled into microscropic bits and ground into the used to be beige carpet or tracked onto the newly mopped floor, he still manages to occupy and distract long enough for basic hygiene maintenance.

Escalating insanity can usually be staved off by Transport and an off location recreation zone. Sometimes however the rec zone can be insanity in and of itself which is a risk a truly escalating situation requires (as well as a smack down on a four year old or two).

Out of Control insanity. This is one ugly fellow and I have found that he only speaks two languages. White Flag and Tom Collins. When the hair pulling has turned into kicking, scratching, screeching, naked toy throwing, tantrum having, pants pooping, tears flowing and the children can't handle me any more, they throw up their white flags and mix me a Collins.

What can I say? Spring Break brings out the best in all of us!
Now for those of you who were looking for a real Tribute, please head over to Jay's Place and snag a few links of heart warming treasures. There are people out there who really are sane and delightful. You should hang out with them.
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4 comments:

Carissa(GoodnCrazy) said...

White flag and Tom collins.. :) really smiling at that one..

Cuz you KNOW we all HEAR you, we do.

Fer said...

One Eyed Monster and his pal Don Vito Douglas Player...

That one took me a minute. I'm slow today.

Lisa = mom2twoboyz said...

we're on spring break here all the time and neither of them are old enough to be in school!

Halftime Lessons said...

LMAO

Um...dont know if you havee noticed, but no one is really policing the TT rules...

I run a pretty tight ship. Get your act together.

;-)

Love your posts Sarah...dont leave me.

Jay

;-P