Thursday, November 20, 2008

And Back to your regularly Scheduled Ridiculous!

Welcome back to the "real" Zoo. Oh yeah. Today we will be back to the normal nonsense that is my brain. No tissues necessary. So tell me - are you having fun looking into my holiday habits? I'm finding so many kindred sprirts out there. It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one.

So here we go! Day 7!

Sponsors: Sillymonkeez and My baby bump

And the question today?

Who’s on your naughty list? Whose on your nice list? Why?

Well, in case you missed my dissertation on the Naughty and Nice List and its origins and standards you better pop over here. No really! Go! You really want to avoid my Naughty List. So you made it back? Good. Now that you understand my thoughts on the list, let me go ahead and give you my list and the why’s behind it.

Naughty but on probation list: The folks at the deli counter.
Why? Because you just handed me one sample slice of bologna when you can clearly see there are three children with me. Do you really dislike me that much? Do you really want to hear my children wailing about “his piece is bigger than mine” or “she got an extra bite” for the next hour while I wind my way through the store?

Now I only put you on probation because if you change your ways you will definitely elevate yourself to the nice list. Not just for eliminating the fighting and arguing, but for putting something in their mouths so that I get to enjoy just a few moments of quiet.

Nice but up for review list: My children
I mean it! I will make the call to the Pole. You have been incredibly sweet and polite to strangers in recent months. If you would be so kind as to bring some of that home on a more frequent basis, you could really solidify your spot on the list. As is, you are clinging by your thin little fingernails and I am considering getting the clippers.

Marmoset, you are cute and all but if you are unable to find a way to control those flapping, running in place fits of yours I will be forced to put you on probation.

Rhino, you have done an incredible job of moving up recently with your newly developed bathroom habits. However if you do not stop aggravating Orangutan on a regular basis, you will find yourself in the PO’s office with Marmoset.

Orangutan, you had better get it together. I understand that you are getting in touch with your emotions but if you keep pushing the “panic,” “distress,” and “sensitivity” buttons I am going to push the button that demotes you to naughty.

Permanent nice list: My regular followers and commenters here at the Zoo.
Santa will be bringing you all higher page ranks and lots of “You won!” giveaway notices in the near future.

Permanent naughty list: Wall Street Fat Cats with Multi-million Dollar Bonuses
Ya’ll suck! Now wire America’s money back from the Caymans and Switzerland and anywhere else you tucked it away so that we can get ourselves back on our feet (or to the spa!) instead of having the government do it for us (or you in the case of the spa – business conference, my livestock trailer). Losers!

Wanna know if you made someone's naughty list? Pop over to Mom Dot and make sure you check all those other Naughty List posts. You can never be too careful this time of year!!



jennifer said...

You're on my nice list because you crack me up on a daily basis =) My husband is perpetually on my naughty list because my birthday is so close to Christmas and he insists on being a jerk on my birthday. And now that I found brown playdough, he's gonna LOVE what he finds in his stocking!!!

Staci said...

I'll be sure to come and comment more often so I can stay on your nice list!

Proud Mommy said...

We have a similar naughty list!!!!

Tena said...

From here on out I will not drink anything while reading your blog, I almost choked!!
Great post today ( well everyday)

Michelle@lifeinawhirlwind said...

Wow! Two posts. I'm impressed. I'm 100% behind you with the Wall Street naughty list.

Natalie said...

I soooo agree with Tena! Will wine spewed onto a laptop screen hurt the laptop?

Trish said...

Yes, kids are always on the maybe list.

Tracye said...

you're too funny! and i agree with you on the naughty's!

Melissa said...

again, you cracked me up... I'm barely holding it together! Love your writing!
AND btw, your animals are simply adorable!

Erin Tales said...

LOL! Great, in-depth list! And defintely, peeps need to take a good look at all the lists to make sure they didn't end up on someone's naughty list.

~Michelle~ said...

Hahah, your nice list literally made me LOL -- too cute!! and I'm with you on the naught deli counter people -- but try the same deal with 1 slice of cheese for FOUR kids - what's up with that???!

Momstart said...

I'm glad I'm not the only crazy one out there too