Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A Note from the Zoo

{from the Orangutan}

Dear Zookeeper,

Well, it appears that O.A.T. is going to be a lot of fun. So far I am enjoying my tour immensely even though it's only been a few days. However, I do have a few concerns.

I am having a small issue with the tour hours. It seems to me that tour preparation really should not start until the sun is actually up. The notion of rousing from my comfortable sleeping arrangement before the sun has even started to appear in the sky is very disagreeable. Marmoset and Rhino may continue to begin their days at that hour if they would like but I would prefer a delay in the tour.

Along the same lines, I am finding my closing hours to be inconvenient as well. It is simply not right that my exhibit should be closed before the sun has gone down as well. I will continue to make enough ruckus to keep Rhino and Marmoset awake if I am forced to close my exhibit at these early hours.

I greatly appreciate the dietary supplements you have been sending with me to O.A.T. I think you will find that bringing additional supplements with you when you come to retrieve me will also aid in a smooth transition back to the zoo. I find it completely unfair if the Rhino and Marmoset have supplements in the livestock trailer and I do not. Thank you for your particular attention to this detail.

In regards to O.A.T. in particular. It would be wonderful if you would cease the incessant interviewing. I think you may have noticed that I disengage my memory as soon as I arrive at the livestock trailer so it is pointless for you to continue to interrogate me every afternoon. Eventually I will remember what you would like to know and will volunteer the information at that time. But I think we can all agree that the interview is pointless at this time.

And finally, I would like to share a little about the Male Orangutan I have befriended at O.A.T. I understand that it doesn't make very much sense to you why I would befriend such a character. After all he HAS disrupted my resting period once and pushed me down on the exercise yard the second day. However as I explained, he did express sincere remorse at his behavior and I felt it only appropriate to give him the benefit of my friendship. Please accept my decision.

Thank you for my touring opportunity. So far it has been a delightful and enlightening experience.