To my Friend J Jiggety

And any of my other followers who are teachers.


I am writing to apologize to you. I know that your job as a teacher is made infinitely more difficult by parents who do not take advantage of teachable moments and expose their children to new and interesting opportunities and experiences. I understand that science is one of those subjects that can use all the parental assistance possible as it is as much observational as it is hands on.


I am confessing to you right now that I intentionally avoided one such learning experience this afternoon on the way home from school. As we left to go to carpool duty, I noticed that one of our neighborhood sciurus carolinenis (squirrel) had met his (or her) demise on the street leading out of the neighborhood. Having grown up in a rural area I did not give it a second thought because, well, life happens like that. You think you've dodged a bullet and then you see the garbage truck grill.


We completed our assigned rounds and were pulling back into the neighborhood when I observed a cathartes aura (turkey buzzard) feasting on our fresh carrion. I must admit that I sped up a little. Initially my hope was to make said fowl lift off in flight but then I was reminded that should these particular aviators have a full stomach upon lift off they will void said organ. Not what I want to park in the garage. Therefore it became my intent to swiftly ease past my dining friend without startling him or drawing attention to his meal of choice.


I really had no desire to explain to my children why their favorite Over the Hedge character had just become an afternoon snack. I recognize that in doing so I missed out on a tremendous teaching opportunity. I beg your forgiveness and promise that when they are a little older (say 12?) I will make amends by seeking out feasting cathartes auras.


Thank you for understanding my situation and forgiving my cowardice.


Sincerely,
The Zookeeper

Getting a Head Start on Ruining my Children's Education!

I started thinking about it while we were at Home Depot today. Everytime I want my children to remember something I make a rhyme or rythm out of it. Here are just a few things my poor children were subjected to today.

*Nothing in your nose that isn't wearing clothes.

*Saddle up, buckle up, rah, rah, rah!

*Skirt off, sleeves on, socks plus shoes.

*Put it in the potty or Mom will think you're naughty!

*Seat in the seat or you're not gonna eat!

*Chin to the sky - no bubbles in your eyes.

Do you see what I am doing to my children? If educators can make it rythm and rhyme, my children are never going to remember it! I can see right now that the rest of my parenting life is going to be spent pouring over their schoolbooks rhyming their spelling words, state capitals, and history notes.

I wonder if I can get advance copies of the kindergarten curriculum. I have a lot of work to do before August!