Mom Tip #67: Be Grateful for What You Have

It's my first day in two weeks without someone else's child in my house. I mean it! I even had surprise children yesterday. There's nothing like having someone else's children in your house to make you grateful for your own children. In case you missed it you can revisit my experience from last week at Mom Tip #66 (appropriate number, don't you think?).


So here are a few of my child related gratitudes.

I am grateful that Marmoset stopped stripping when she came to her diaper. Especially when I realized its contents. (Scratch that - I changed her and now she's decided to be naked.)

I am grateful that we have no where to be today since Rhino decided to wear Steeler's shorts with a burgundy sweatshirt. (And Marmie is naked. Not good for public outings. Wait, make that a double scratch. Rhino now has on camo pants with his burgundy sweatshirt.)

I am grateful that Orangutan didn't call my bluff this morning when I told her I would "come up there and get you!" Crashing the bunk beds was not on my list of things to do today. (Nor was staring at a naked toddler or a clashing 4 year old.)

I am grateful that my children don't like milk on their cereal sometimes. Clean up is so much easier when it only requires a vacuum. (And a naked Marmoset won't need a bath.)

I am grateful that my dog doesn't care what he eats sometimes. (Did he really just cover his eyes?)

I am extremely grateful for the secret stash of mini chocolate chips in the top of the freezer and the Belevedere on top of the fridge. Oh wait. That has nothing to do with my children. Well, not directly anyway.

Mom Tip #31

You are a Master of Marketing.

There isn’t a salesman in the world who can sell a more diverse selection of products. And not just products but ideas too. You can sell it all!

Molly loves the sugary snacks of course and has entered the “green vegetables are evil incarnate” phase of life. Daddy got in touch with his inner politician and started a smear campaign against the sugars. “Look at this Mo! (as he lifted his shirt) Do you know what happened here?” She of course had no idea what had happened there. “This is what happens when you eat too much sugar and sugary stuff. You get a big hairy belly!” Periodically he’ll “check” her belly for new hairs. With the smear campaign in full swing it was time to launch alternative marketing.

“Hey Mo! Did you know that green vegetables make those sugary belly hairs go away?” Sold! To the fastest green bean eater! And about green beans – they may be just green beans to the rest of the world but in this house they are (insert super hero music here) Super Beans!! They make you fast! They make you smart! They make you better than your little brother/big sister! You have to tailor to your audience sometimes.

Munch is in the “strap a diaper on a greased eel” phase. As soon as she even thinks I’m lying her down on the changing table the squirming, flailing, and squealing mechanisms are activated and the race is on. How do you sell diapering to a 16 mo old? “Hey Munch! As soon as we get this diaper on you can put your shoes on!” I don’t know people! It works for her. If shoes are involved this child will do anything faster than greased lightning.

Now if I just had the magic bullet for Tuck and his potty training I would promote myself from Master to Ph. D.