Is it time to eat?
He/she did (insert ultimate world ending evil here) to me!!
Lie to me if you must moms in the reading audience, but tell me that you are a Butt Mom too.
It has to happen outside of my house. If it doesn't; if my house is the only place on the planet that is home to the Butt Mom then I am renegotiating my stance on dying in the basement and being buried in the front yard.
Please go put these shoes in your closet.
But Mom! I have to finish this puzzle! (Which I am then going to leave strewn in a million places all over so you have to pick it out of the vacuum cleaner for the next 3 weeks.)
Please go put your laundry away.
But Mom! I don't know where it goes.
(But if I ask you to get dressed you can assemble an outfit in 2.7 seconds. It may clash but you can change it 3 more times during the day - for absolutely no reason!!)
Please clean up the playroom.
But Mom! I'm soooo tired! (It's 8 AM and you just had syrup with pancakes - not a typo people.)
If I was a Butt Mom you would be the funniest looking kids in Kindergarten. I (am going to pull out one of Bill Cosby's lines) brought you into this world; I can take you out!!
And I wish I could say it was just the Exhibits that had this problem. Apparently I'm Butt Honey too!
Please stop and pick up some milk on the way home.
But Honey! I've had a really long day and I just want to come home. Can't you get it in the morning?
Please help me get the kids into bed.
But Honey! I just ate and I want to sit here and just relax or a minute.
Please put your stuff in the laundry basket.
But Honey! Then I have to look at what I'm doing.
Dear Zoo Supporters,
Don't think to hard about Butt Honey. You'll never look at a bee the same way again.
All my love!
Posted by Sarah at 9:03 PM
This morning was O's Mother's Day program at school. They sang for us and then presented us with gifts and a little interview that they put together with the teachers. I'll sharee the interview first (because the computer is slow and hasn't finished loading the video yet).
These are the answers to 10 questions the teachers asked Orangutan.
1. My dad calls my mom Sarah.
I would have said he calls me "Honey where's the..." but it was her interview not mine.
2. My mom is as tall as a pole.
Not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's better than being as tall as a frog, right?
3. My mom weighs I don't know. I never weighed her before.
Good use of diplomacy O. I am so glad she stuck to the scientific answer! By the way the low bid out of all the moms was 10 pounds I think. She looked good too!
4. My mom is 19 years old.
Boy, I sure wish I felt like I was 19! My knees actually made audible creaks this morning. And the low bid on age was 5 - yes, that would mean simultaneously being born and giving birth. Not a labor I want to be part of thank you very much!
5. Her favorite drink is fancy ones.
Maybe cocktail hour has been happening a little early lately! Eeek!
6. Her favorite restaurant is fancy ones.
The correct answer here is any! As long as I don't have to clean I'm golden.
7. She likes to play with us for fun.
Or take a nap, or watch a movie or write, but yeah, playing with them is a pretty good deal too!
8. She enjoys cooking pizza.
Time to shake up the dinner menu again!
9. She looks prettiest when she wears a black dress.
She could have said "dress" in general or "when she actually showers" so I'll take this one.
10. My mom is so smart she can even get me, my brother, and my sister a playground that you can pick a circus, then switch again and find a new one. If you get on the sun the game is shorter.
See, what she was trying to say is that I'm so smart I can get them to play a board game together with minimal bloodshed. But instead she described the game.
And now (an hour and a half later) I can share with you the musical number from our morning. O is in the very back because she's one of the tallest in her class. Sorry about the quality. It's from our digital camer. Any one who would like an idea for a birthday gift (coming up soon!) is welcome to remember that a gift card to Best Buy is a really GOOD idea! (Pass it on sis!)
Orangutan is staring down the end of her first year of school. I think she is actually disappointed that school is ending "so soon." And I can understand why. She's the popular kid in class.
So how did THAT happen?
I was the Invisible Girl. The one you knew if you needed help with homework or a ride after track practice but other than that I didn't exist. I had my friends (all eight of us who ate lunch together every day) but I wasn't picking a name out of a hat for prom if you know what I mean.
Lion was part of a group of guys who probably held their own in high school but he wasn't a Jock himself. I think he was probably that guy between Jock and well, the other guy actually. And yes, that close nit tribe he ran with in high school is almost all relocated here to Atlanta too.
So how is it that my daughter, who talks entirely too much, is the popular kid in her PreK class? I didn't realize this was her status until I went to a birthday part at Chucky Cheeze yesterday. And yes, that's a rant filled blog in and of itself but I'm trying to stay focused. I walked into the party and met the host and hostess who were the sweetest people on the planet I think. Barbie and Ken right here in Suburbia!
As we were making small talk Ken (obviously not his real name which quite honestly I've forgotten! eek and shame on me!), noted that she is the friendliest, most talkative, helpful and delightful child in the class. To which Barbie replies, "Oh yes! S talks about her all the time! He just adores her!"
Fast forward fifteen minutes when we bump into another member of her class and his father. C reacts with typical girls are yucky fervor "Oh No!! Not M!!!" and his father turns seven shades of red, apologizes profusely, and adds, "But C really likes her. He talks about her all the time!"
Then there's the girls who flocked to her when they came in, and the little boy who follows her around like a puppy all day every day. "Please be my friend today?" Like he has to get permission to be her shadow every day?!
I don't understand. How did a child from a socially backward mother end up the popular kid in the class?
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I would almost rather she was invisi-kid like me. She wouldn't have the pressure of everyone's eyes. She wouldn't have to feel like a leader before her time. I could protect her from so much more if she was invisi-kid.
This motherhood thing just keeps getting harder.
Posted by Sarah at 1:49 PM